Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 4, 2012 / Posted by:

Zhang Bangsheng, zoo keeper and resident poop whisperer at the Wuhan Zoo in China who’s getting an extra a”WOO!” from Whitney Houston today, because he’s willing to turn his tongue into a peanut lurer to help a constipated bitch out.

There’s a good reason why that little Francois Leaf Monkey has a look on his face like, “Should I be grossed about by this or should I be fapping right now?” Because Zoo Keeper Zhang’s got his tongue all up in some monkey butt. (Cut to John Travolta putting on a Francois Leaf Monkey costume while waiting to board a Cathay Pacific flight to China.) Usually, when you’re tossing some salad, the last thing you want is a colon-glazed peanut on your tongue, but that’s exactly what Zoo Keeper Zhang was trying to get. Zoo Keeper Zhang doesn’t tickle a shit out of just anyone’s ass. The Francois Leaf Monkey is sort of special since it was almost ten years ago when one of his kind was born at the zoo. The monkey made his debut on May 1st and the next day, Zoo Keeper Zhang noticed that he was suffering from the hard shits. When Zhang inspected the monkey exhibit, he realized that visitors fed peanuts to the Francois Leaf Monkey, because there were shells all over the ground. The monkey baby doesn’t have any teeth yet, so he swallowed the peanut whole. Zoo Keeper Zhang knew that if the monkey didn’t push out that peanut soon, he’d suffer death by doody. The monkey is too young to take laxatives and obviously his butt is too delicate for a warm towel, so Zoo Keeper went peanut hunting with his tongue!

China Smack (via Arbroath) says that Zoo Keeper Zhang licked some monkey butt for about an hour until he finally struck brown gold. The peanut finally fell out and the only thing Zoo Keeper Zhang could do is laugh at all his hard monkey ass-licking work.

Zoo Keeper Zhang is truly an international culo-licking hero, because he did mouth-to-monkey-butt without any coconut-flavored ass lube and without a dental dam wrapped around his tongue. And he did it for a full hour without bitching about how his tongue was sore. If the whole “zoo keeper” thing doesn’t work out for him, he definitely has a bright future in salad tossing ahead of him. The line starts behind ME, bitches.

(For Jane & Rey)

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