Lindsay Lohan will start shooting Liz & Dick (aka I Can’t With That Title) next month in L.A. and while she has the blessing of Lifetime obviously, Elizabeth Taylor’s friends and family aren’t endorsing that shit. The chances of White Oprah eating something other than gin and Adderall stew for dinner are greater than Elizabeth Taylor’s sons blessing LiLo by giving her their mother’s good luck earrings before sprinkling her forehead with White Diamonds. That’s what Pulitzer nominee The National Enquirer (via Celebitchy) says anyway. Their inside source says that Lifetime should’ve reached for the stars instead of reaching into the gutter in front of Chateau Marmont:
“Liz’s sons, Michael and Chris Wilding, feel there are many other actresses who are far more qualified to play their famous mother. They think gorgeous and talented stars such as Cate Blanchett or Emily Blunt should have been short-listed for the role. Liz’s children feel their mom deserved better! Liz was not only a great movie star, but a great philanthropist, and it’s a slap in the face to her memory to have this errant party girl play her. She’d be screaming bloody murder over this whole fiasco!”
There’s more similarities between my asshole and a monarch butterfly than there are between Lindsay Lohan and Elizabeth Taylor, but the more I think about this the more it works for me. Yes, LiLo’s old ass is more suited to play Grandma Anthony in Lifetime’s Casey Anthony movie starring the male Meredith Baxter, Rob Lowe, but her as Liz has all the makings of a beautiful mess. It’s going to be like watching a freckled train slowly crash into a stack of cue cards. The Razzies are going to open up a special basic cable category for this mess. And sometimes you have to ask yourself, “Will Joel McHale throw hate on this on The Soup?” If the answer is yes, then it’s the right thing. When all else fails, think of Joel McHale.
(Picture via Planet Hiltron)