About The Name "Maxwell Drew"
As the last drops from Jessica Simpson's amniotic fluid geyser continues to sprinkle on L.A., some people are wondering (not really) why she and that Eric Johnson dude came up with the name Maxwell Drew for a girl. They didn't name their 10 pounds of baby after Maxwell Caulfield and Drew Barrymore, or Maxwell House and Dr. Drew, or Maxwell Sheffield and Drew Lachey. "Maxwell Drew" elegantly rolls off the tongue like a Chicken McNugget half chewed up by Jessica, but they have a good reason for why they gave their daughter that name. It's a family names!
Rumor Fix says that Maxwell is Eric's middle name and his mom's before marriage name. Drew is Jessica's mother's before marriage name. Rumor Fix also says that the name Maxwell means "great stream" and the name Drew means "manly." Put those names together and you've got a real urinal cake breaker! That name meaning shit doesn't mean anything anyway. My first name means "who is like God" and my middle name means "Jehovah increases." Some shit got lost in translation somewhere, because that should really be "who is like Trash" and "Bitterness increases."
Well, now you know the meaning of Maxwell Drew, so you can sleep through the night without waking up to spit at Jessica and Eric for achieving new levels of dumb by coming up with that baby name.
The whole "using your mom's maiden name as your kid's first name" thing is not some shit most people can do, right? I like my mom's maiden name (Note: I will get a tree branch slap to the mouth from my abuelita if I don't type that), but if I named my kid that, it would have a permanent side-eye and it would learn how to flip me off real quick.
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My mother's maiden name is Bright so I should have named my child Half for the first name.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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James Haven, what is Rent-a-Person? And why have I never heard of this Oscar winning performance? ... All 12 minutes of it! But thanks for sharing, LOL!
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♫"Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue
Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes"♫ - Maggie M'Gill
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Submitted by James Haven on Thu, 05/03/2012 - 4:30pm.
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JAMES! I thought that you were in England with Angie buying an English Mansion. My you do get around don't you?
Submitted by James Haven on Thu, 05/03/2012 - 4:30pm.
You always have the best stories!
James Haven is here to tell you crazy bitches what really happened in the birthin' room. James Haven recently joined the hospital staff as what is known as a Candy Striper. James Haven wasn't wearing his glasses when he applied for the job and thought it said Candy Stripper! So you can imagine how chaotic it was on James Haven's first day in Geriatrics when James Haven was found wearing nothing but a G String overflowing with dollar bills (those old folks sure are generous!)
The Head nurse was not amused with James Haven and sent him off to Maternity where he was told to keep his clothes on and his mouth shut! On the day of Maxwell's birth James Haven was reading his favorite novel just full of erotica: Shades of Grey Anyhoo, James Haven hears strange sounds, sort of like a Moose that has his leg stuck in a trap. He looks up and sees Jessica being wheeled in by Papa Joe. Jessica demanded a strawberry milkshake and fries and James Haven was sent to the Burger Shake immediately by Papa Joe.
Jessica wolfed down the fries, a double decker cheeseburger, 2 milkshakes and a half dozen napkins. Minutes past like hours and there was nothing going on but farting, burping and gurgling and that was just from Papa Joe! Nasty! Jessica hadn't even begun to let her gases flow!
Jessica demanded a pedicure for her and Papa Joe. James Haven told her that was not part of his job description but Jessica reminded him that only last month she heard James Haven gave Channing Tatum a sponge bath without a sponge! What could James Haven do? The man was all sweaty. Someone needed to spruce him up.
So James Haven filled a bedpan with suds and began to tackle Papa Joe's prehistoric feet. Another two hours went by, and Jessica finally pushes out her two tons of fun baby girl. James Haven begged Jessica not to saddle that poor child with a name that sounds like an uptight English butler. But she said that it was either Maxwell Drew or Bernard Gross which was combination of her great grandfather's name and her favorite 3rd grade teacher.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Jessica got Federlined. :(
that's a Southern thing to do. Notice all the kids names now are: Carter, Taylor, Tyler, Parker, Drake, Turner, etc. Unisex surnames. I'm tired of it and I dont have little kids.
That name is not only completely contrived, but so desperate for attention and ladden with fame-whore possibilities, that it seems perfectly suited for this situation. Jessica is well on her way to raising the selfish, immature, self-entitled child that most of Hollywood seems intent on these days. Congratulations to the proud parents!
If truth is beauty, then we are all hideous monsters.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 05/03/2012 - 1:47am.
Well Eric is now joined the K-Fed Club
So far the club president is K-Fed, Justin Bieber's dad, Benjamin ballet guy who didnt pull out of Natalie Portman.
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Eric's not even that good looking, either.
"Benjamin ballet guy" LOL
Drew is Nick Lachey's brother's name right??? lol... Just like Jay Z's ex girlfriend was the singer Blu Cantrell.. weird
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:42pm.
So I should name my kid Goldstein?
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LOL! Good point, what if the name had been truly awful like Cockburn (like olivia wilde HAHA)?
Since when does the Dark Lord of the Undead respond to human emotions? If Kunty Karl is going to start caring about human feelings, then there's really no hope for cuntkind. I'll have to start calling him Karing Karl. The end of days, indeed. - MK
Big Max is an appropriate name for this baby. It could be the next celebrity trend: naming your kid after the principle food you lived on whilst pregnant. Gwyneth and Beyonce are automatically already in the club.
dumb twat outta name the kid "jo" after her dad cause hes the puppet master of that freak circus family
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Awful name. Celebrities choose some of the ugliest baby name combos. Are they that desperate to be "original"?
Anyway, I just watched "The Boys Next Door" starring Maxwell Caulfied yesterday on Netflix and he's actually a very good actor. Too bad he couldn't overcome Grease 2.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
For some reason I think this is even dumber than the 'Apple' and 'Banjo' shit. SHE's a GIRL. I understand that some names can be pretty gender neutral but MAXWELL DREW is not.
Submitted by Naughychimp on Thu, 05/03/2012 - 5:29am.
Meh. Her baby's boring. Can we please all focus on the really important topic here, Maxwell Caulfield? He lost all his luscious blond locks when he aged: terrible pity. Is he gay? He married a muuuuuuuuch older woman. Like, 30 years older than him. To me, that shrieks, QUEER. Anyone know the scoop on him? *swoons, recalling him back in Grease 2*
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He married the English actor, Juliet Mills, sister of Hayley, and son of famous British actor, John. I think when they married, she was late 40's early 50's (too lazy to look it up) and he may have been late 20's. Juliet is a serious actor but has done some lighter stuff over the years. Her sister Hayley did frothier stuff. Most people know Hayley from the original 'Parent Trap' I saw Juliet perform in a play in Toronto - she was very good. .
Maxwell Caulfield on the other hand...I dunno...sorry :)
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Meh. Her baby's boring. Can we please all focus on the really important topic here, Maxwell Caulfield? He lost all his luscious blond locks when he aged: terrible pity. Is he gay? He married a muuuuuuuuch older woman. Like, 30 years older than him. To me, that shrieks, QUEER. Anyone know the scoop on him? *swoons, recalling him back in Grease 2*
What's wrong with the grandmas FIRST names for a little female? Foolio. LMAO at these comments. Did she really not know difference between chicken and tuna???? What in the name of Sarah Palin dumbassery?
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
oh man, Maxwell Caulfield....yum. He was one of the reasons why I loved Grease 2. All that leather and Brit accent. Vroom, Vroom.
Oh yeah! It's a real snooty upper-class thing to give the oldest son the mother's maiden name as a first or middle name.
Of course, you're really proving that you're a WASP, because who would want to go around with the first name Kravchenko?
Well Eric is now joined the K-Fed Club, which is pretty exclusive. To qualify you need to be:
1. Douche and willing to leave your current wife and kids (if you have one)
2. Dick like a fisherman's hook, so you can keep a bitch hooked.
3. Sperm count x10 higher than the average human male and the ability to knock a bitch up, just by looking at her.
4. Willing to not work for the rest of your life
5. Good at mooching off your ex or current wife's bank account
So far the club president is K-Fed, Justin Bieber's dad, Benjamin ballet guy who didnt pull out of Natalie Portman.
Submitted by Scottish on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 9:58pm.
She will already be picked on at every turn for having a mother that doesn't know the difference between chicken and tuna, this is just more ammunition!
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YES!! That's why I always hated this dumbass.
BTW, I think Avery is a lovely name for a girl; I have a friend who gave her daughter that name too ;)
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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
LOL well I won't be using my mother's maiden name for anything other than security questions. I'm not saying what it is, I'm just saying my grandfather was once incorrectly paged at an airport as "Mr. Uterus" and leave it at that.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I know a good boy's name that no one will guess where it came from: Lestat! Hahaa.
You know, the more I think about it, it really doesn't matter what they name their kid. If kids want to tease another kid, they will tease them - either about their name or their height or their size or where they live, etc. So if that name really spoke to Jessica and her guy, then let them have it their way. I'm sure the little girl will grow up with lots love and attention, and that is what matters most.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Is this her one and only kid? Why didn't she hold out for a boy to give the kid such a manly name? What is she going to name her boy? Ann Christine? This broad makes no sense to me whatsoever. I could never give either of my sons my maiden name "Rose."
So I should name my kid Goldstein?
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You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind
You oughta know by now
You can pay Uncle Sam with overtime
Is that all you get for your money?
Submitted by Paige123 on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 8:38pm.
poor kid......with a horrible name :(
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ITA the name blows no matter how their *clever* minds came up with it, but "poor kid"? This girl is gonna live a life of luxury, never want for a fucking thing, and no doubt be surrounded by love and adoration for her whole life.
Let's save "poor kid" for the ones that get beaten, abused, and left in trash cans.
Too complicated to figure out that name... haha mmmmm Maxwell Caulfield was such a hottie back then, still would, up and down!
Yeah, you bettah say you like your mom's maiden name boo! LOL!
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♫"Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue
Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes"♫ - Maggie M'Gill
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
LOL @ "is like trash" and "bitterness increases".
And she said she wants a girly retard fuck of a girl (I imagine she wants a daughter who does pageants). So why the fuck would she give her girly girl daughter a man name?
Evelyn Waugh and George Eliot think this name is misleading.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
And I thought I had screwed my daughter up by naming her Avery which was originally used as a boy name! This could have been better if they named her "Drew Maxwell"...I think Drew would have saved her years of ridicule. She will already be picked on at every turn for having a mother that doesn't know the difference between chicken and tuna, this is just more ammunition!
Ummmmm, just because a baby is born a healthy nine and half/ten pounds doesn't mean he or she is "destined to be a porker", you complete imbecile. It's better to see a baby come out big and heathy than a puny little half-formed fetus. Seriously, destined to be a porker? Perhaps you were born so small your brain didn't form correctly to make you say such an idiotic comment.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I would still SOOO do Maxwell Caulfield. He gets hotter as he gets older!_______________________________________________
If you ever need someone to drink with, I'll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll drink with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I love to drink!!!
--Karen Walker
Submitted by Lisbet459: "All I can think is that that child will, without a shadow of a doubt, be called "Maxi Pad" for the duration of her school days."
You got that right.
My friend named her son Alexander because after her husband shot down every name she proposed on the basis of the bad nicknames a kid could get. He didn't get anything snarky for Alex. (I came up with "Alex the Phallux" but most kids wouldn't).
Submitted by Bossy on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 7:12pm.
Maxwell Drew or Drew Maxwell is a great name and the explanation of putting their mother's maiden names together is cool...one problem, YOU HAD A DAUGHTER. Save it for the son, if you ever have one.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Mom's maiden name is O'Carroll. A bit hipsterish but not too bad as a first name.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 8:14pm.
Who gives a shit! There are assholes out there naming thier fucken kids "Apple"!
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Agreed. But, I still think those names aren't real. Courtney Cox's daughter is "Coco", which happen to be a nickname for Nicole. Maybe "Apple" is actually Eve?? (Shit, isn't her other kids "Moses"? What if it was actually Adam? That'd be just like GOOPy wouldn't it?!) Who knows, but yeah, there could be worse than Maxwell Drew.
And to all those who say she's a smart businesswoman - I call BS. Daddy saw a gold cash cow with prize udders who could make money and knew how to market her dumb ass. Why do you think Pastor Papa Joe left Jesus?
That gold cow has finally given birth, so he's got his eyes on baby Maxie Pad.
Good God, poor kid won't stand a chance.
She's gonna be a porker.
10lbs! She either had a c section or ripped her ewwww whoooo apart.
poor kid......with a horrible name :(
My mom's maiden name is Ramsey. If big sis has a boy, she's naming him that. Kid better be born with a cigar and a smoking jacket.