In Case You Missed It, The Dark Knight Rises Trailer
The record for the most nerdjizz loads to hit the ceiling at the same time was broken last night when the newest trailer for The Dark Knight Rises (Yes, I think of a bat boner every time I read that title) was released (Yes, I think of Batman shooting out a bat signal made of bat chowder every time I read "Dark Knight released"). What I got from the trailer is that Bane gets a vocal cord transplant with Liam Neeson and when he's done blowing up New Gotham York City and shit, he should read classic English novels on tape or narrate the next Planet Earth series. His voice is like English Breakfast for my ears. I'm also trying to get into Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, but the husky voice she's putting on makes her sound like she's got a hairball stuck in her froat and she's about as mysterious as a Scooby Doo episode.
And you know, more people should say, "There's a storm coming" at the beginning of trailers, because that's not done enough. I would be so pissed if someone told me there was a storm coming and they really meant it as a metaphor. If some ho told me a storm was a coming, I'd go out and buy yet another piece of shit bodega umbrella thinking that it's going to rain when what she really is meant that a bunch of comic book villains are coming to burn our city down. Bitch, just say we're all going to die. Now is not the time for your poetic metaphors and yes, you will reimburse me for that bodega umbrella.
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I watched Katie Holmes stamp and pout her way through the first film today, and it's official: Christopher Nolan couldn't cast a decent actress in any Batman movie if someone were holding a gun to his head. There's no way I'll suffer through the utterly annoying Hathaway in this new movie. She sucks.
Isn't Marion Cotillard supposed to be in this? I didn't see her at all. Does she have a small part? Color me confused.
I can't wait. Always have been a fan of the Bale/The Dark Knight series; always will be.
eta, this and the Spiderman one to come out this summer *faints
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse & Houston, 2011) *caprica six was/is here*
It would be better if Batman hit people with a bat. Then he could say, "I'm not fucking around man, I'm batman".
If the director and costume designers were smart, they would have used Anne Hathaway's giant Cheshire Cat smile of hers to greater effect when doing her makeup and stuff. They should have made her at least look a bit psycho IMHO.
So does this mean this is the last Batman movie? *crosses fingers; prays*
As much as I love Christopher Nolan movies he just misses it while casting females. Anne Hathaway, Maggie gillanhaal, Katie Holmes and that annoying chick from Juno...all so bland
No sexy Robin, no Tatiana in the theater.
I'm pissed that they won't use Robin in these movies, because it's obvious the only reason is so they don't have to deal with the whole "Batman and Robin are gay LOL!!1!!" thing from frat boy fanboys, who are secretly jacking off to gay porn anyways. Fucking conservative fucking bullshit.
Also, Anne Hathway is more annoying than a gnat in the eye and I can't believe someone hired her to play sexy. Ugh.
Joseph Gordon Levitt and Anne Hathaway are king and queen of the try too hard prom.
I mean I believe him as a wanabe architect who is pussy whipped by hipster chicks, but I just can buy him as a tough as nails cop because he is is like four feet tall and looks 15. And she has all the sex appeal of a stalk of celery
Holy overrated shit Batman. Bale should've known better than to reuse that ridiculous voice again. This seems to be yet another overinflated, emotionless, long and boring installment in egomaniac Nolan's series.
I always find funny that Tim Burton was not asked back for a third Batman movie because the studio felt his vision was too "dark and gritty" but this guy managed to get away with it.
The real question is, will Tom Hardy overdose to opt for an Oscar?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:49am.
Dear Superman,
It's called not being directed by Zack Snyder.
Sincerely, Batman
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
The sad thing? In five years they'll do a "family-friendly" reboot of this franchise, probably starring Zac Efron as Batman. Ugh.
Bane doesn't look as great as Joker, but hey, that was Heath Ledger's greatest performance, and the Joker is awesome anyway.
Anne Hathaway is miscast compared to Michelle Pfeiffer, but she's at least better than Katie Holmes or Halle Berry. Nolan should really let someone else cast his leading ladies.
Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 12:20pm.
And the ninety-nine percenters would happily join in on world destruction if they had that money. We're all corrupt and selfish a-holes, so the moral superiority based on money is just self-delusion.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Keaton is still the sexiest Batman. This is pure meh. Anne is trying "too hard."
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Submitted by SFRB on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 10:37am.
"I know her people have made it difficult to hate ANNE"
nope. not difficult at all. all i have to do is watch her and, bam, there's the hate.
will see this bec i'm "loyal" to the Bale/Nolan Bat franchise and like every actor in this one except Boring McVanilla. but i think The Avengers will be better. Assemble!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
This trailer is really sadistic. I don't like movies exploiting people's fear of another 911. Americans are neurotic enough as it is.
In Batman Begins, I recall that Batman tore up a lot of real estate in order to save the girl. When I was naive, I thought Batman was cool. That was in the Michael Keaton as Batman days. Now, the only thing even remotely interesting to me about Batman is when it's him vs. the Joker.
But seriously... him keeping his I.D. a secret that long is way too implausible and I suppose his fans see his playboy antics as just making him seem more human. But not even his fans can save him in my mind, haha.
I saw The Raven on Friday. Still trying to figure out how I feel about that movie. I love John Cusack and Poe but for the first half hour I was thinking, Christ, I hate this asshole.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Grown man running around in a cape...I'll probably watch it though.
I can't be bothered by this. Too implausible. Everybody knows Batman is gay and a onepercenter. Onepercenters don't care for saving the world. They wanna destroy it for profit.
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Better a bottle in front o'me
than a frontal lobotomy
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:40am.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:26am.
According to TMZ, Jessica Simpson has checked into the hospital.
A flash flood watch has been issued for LA County.
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haha Cowabunga dude!
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I guess she's finally squeezed that kid out. it's about time. She's been pregnant for like nineteen years.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:42am.
I didn't understand a word anyone said
TEAM ADAM WEST WAS THE ONLY BATMAN!
ahahaha yes! I had such a mad crush on Robin.
Super hero tv shows were our fave Saturday morning tv. Remember Shazam! and Isis?
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:56am.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:54am.
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Yeah, I loved it too.
That's what I like about Tatum. He actually seems to have some self awareness. He knows he's not that good an actor, and that that will probably never change. So he works with what he can do.
And he makes me laugh. And I find him attractive. (Yeah, I said it.)
@Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:54am.
I can't believe it! I think I am actually going to cry.
Each book and movie was perfect in its own way.
I wonder who has the rights to her books? She isn't still alive is she?
Hollywood has officially gone down the tubes.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:54am.
I LOVED 21 Jump Street. It was so hilarious. I loved James Franco's lil bro in it. I literally was crying I was laughing so hard during the drug scene.
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Submitted by harperharper on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:49am.
There is talk of remaking The Outsiders.
Sorry. : (
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:52am.
They couldn't find another way to disguise his Bruce Wayne voice?
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I loved this take on it:
http://www.cracked.com/video_16489_is-it-time-batman-to-tone-it-down.htm...
Who else is it gonna be? Who else has the money to do all that?
Since we're talking movies, I went to see 21 Jump Street on Saturday, and I really really liked it. It was pretty damn funny even though I hate Channing Tatum. He was born to play a doofus, I guess.
Anne Hathaway's lips/mouth is distractingly big and red. Maybe they should have toned down the makeup or something.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:25am.
I hate the voice he puts on as Batman
Me too. It made me hate all the scenes in TDK where he showed up as Batman. They couldn't find another way to disguise his Bruce Wayne voice?
Anyway, trailer looks fucking boring. I hate Tom Hardy and I hate Anne Hathaway even more. Batman Begins was godawful; and Heath Ledger was the only reason The Dark Knight was so great.
Give me Prometheus now or give me death.
Not enough Oldman
Gotta admit it, I'm a little sweet on Bale.
Yesterday I suddenly became paralyzed with fear that some idiot would get it in their head to remake the S.E. Hinton novel/movies.
Dear Batman,
What was your super power again?
Love,
Superman
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:39am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:37am.
She was Sissy Spacek's momma in Carrie
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Bing Bing Yesss, the lights just went on! I remember the crazy mom now!!
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@ doggie..yes I have seen pics of Janice and you're right she WAS quite the piece and still could have been a pretty older woman but she is the epitome of fighting age and losing miserably
I didn't understand a word anyone said
TEAM ADAM WEST WAS THE ONLY BATMAN!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:26am.
According to TMZ, Jessica Simpson has checked into the hospital.
A flash flood watch has been issued for LA County.
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haha Cowabunga dude!
This is one for believe it or not. Woman with the gestation of an elephant.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:37am.
Getting old sucks especially when you were very pretty
^^^^^^^^^^
Word. Ever see Janice Dickinson when she was a model? Stunningly gorgeous. Now she looks like someone stuffed her full of valium and ran her over with a tractor.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:37am.
She was Sissy Spacek's momma in Carrie.
The actors are great but I liked the plot better when it was titled Watchmen.
The trailer also had a severe lack of Gary Oldman. And Morgan Freeman.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:30am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:22am.
It's very dark, but I thought it was really good. I loved Piper Laurie's granny character. I definitely recommend.
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It's right down my alley, I love these kind of films. I had to look up Piper Laurie, I recognized her but here is a picture of a very young Piper, she's been in the game a LONG time.
Getting old sucks especially when you were very pretty
http://cache2.artprintimages.com/lrg/37/3705/PFCAF00Z.jpg
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:26am.
According to TMZ, Jessica Simpson has checked into the hospital.
The dam is about to break! *heads for higher ground*
I liked the old TV Batman when he and Robin would be walking up the side of a building on a rope and some random C-list celeb would pop out of a window. Pretty much the polar opposite of this dark, somber mess.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by QueenieBK on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:25am.
I hate the voice he puts on as Batman but I'd love to have Christian Bale nekkid ass nekkid in my bed. Oh the things I'd do to him~!
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One of my friends is into body building, and he says that both Bale and Hardy have definitely, totally, without a doubt, of course used steroids.
Considering that steroid abuse can cause the male member to become non functioning, I think I'll pass.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:28am.
Ahahahahaha! That totally made me lol!
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:22am.
It's very dark, but I thought it was really good. I loved Piper Laurie's granny character. I definitely recommend.
By September, H-wood will be talking reboot with Zac Efron as Bruce Wayne/Batman.
☆☆☆☆
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:26am.
According to TMZ, Jessica Simpson has checked into the hospital.
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It's a scheduled prenatal 2 year check up.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Does Batman talk in that fucking annoying low scratch voice thing he does? That was the last straw for me on that last (felt like 10 hour) borefest of a movie. That voice was like a drill in my brain.
According to TMZ, Jessica Simpson has checked into the hospital.
A flash flood watch has been issued for LA County.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
I hate the voice he puts on as Batman but I'd love to have Christian Bale nekkid ass nekkid in my bed. Oh the things I'd do to him~!
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:12am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 11:02am.
I actually think Hescher is a good Levitt film.
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I must have missed this one EC I'd never heard of it. I wiki-ed it and I'll definitely watch it, it looks very interesting!
I don't see the appeal. Tom Hardy looks like an idiot in that get-up, and now we have to suffer two characters growling incomprehensibly.