Stop It, Charlize!

April 27, 2012 / Posted by:

Charlize Theron knows how to pick a dress (see: the hot fishnetted work of sophistication she wore to CinemaCon in Las Vegas last night), once climbed naked up Mount ASkars, auditioned for the role of Nomi Malone in Showgirls and is a crafty stoner who can probably make a toilet paper roll sploof in seconds. So because of all of that, Charlize could do no wrong in my eyes until I read this quote from Access Hollywood. Charlize told Access Hollywood that she bonded with Kristen Stewart while shooting Snow White and the Huntsman and now she considers Lip Biter one of her good friends.

“I really, I really, really love that girl. I love that girl, like, I would jump off a building for that girl. She’s amazing, she’s amazing. She’s the real deal… [and] she gives really good back rubs. [Kristen] is the kind of actor that I like to be around because there’s nothing she’d really stop at in order to do the job. She’s got a tremendous amount of talent and, you know, I think you can have talent, but if you don’t have tenacity and moxy… She’s bad ass.”

They totally lezzed out and I’m sure Charlize has had Lip Biter’s teeth marks on her labia lips at one point or another. I will not judge Charlize for getting her some KStew, but I will judge her for saying that she would jump off of a building for Kristen Fucking Stewart. Maybe at the time she said it Charlize was stoned into another world where the clouds catch you when you jump off of buildings. Does Charlize realize what happens to you in real life when you jump off of a tall building? You dead. Or you mess yourself up so bad that you end up in the ICU and the nurses there won’t let your weed man visit you. And they definitely won’t’ let you make a bong out of an apple. I don’t care if it’s a figure of speech, you don’t say shit like that about the trick from Twatlight! I swear, I totally misjudged Kristen Stewart’s skills. Bitch can munch the crazy right up into you.

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