To prepare for this Saturday’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the White House staff is gluing down all valuables and mirrors since Lindsay Lohan will be there as Greta Van Susteren’s guest. And now the White House staff has to also glue down all black dicks too, because Kim Kuntrashian has been invited for the second time. Yeah, I’m talking about the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and not the Whore House Correspondents’ Dinner. (I would totally buy a ticket to the Whore House Correspondents’ Dinner, by the way.)
Mediate says that Kim and Pimp Mama Kris will be there as guests of Fox News. The rest of the guest list isn’t as whorey and I’m hoping LiLo and Kim’s table will be in the back alley and they’ll have to watch the event on an analog TV while the Secret Service offers them a Washington for a quick handy. The rest of the guest list includes: Daniel Day-Lewis, Uggie the Dog, Dakota Fanning, Sofia Vergara, Charlize Theron, Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, The Mythbusters, Zooey Deschanel, Stevie Wonder, George Clooney, Goldie Hawn, Sookeh & Beehl, Fred Armisen, William Levy and Aziz Ansari.
And then there’s LiLo and Kim…
I think I learned in science class that the sign God needs to end civilization by hitting the red button in his home office is a Lohan shaking hands with the President just as the First Lady compliments a Kuntrashian on her pearl necklace. No, I’m just being melodramatic as usual. Nobody’s going to notice those pieces of trash since all the attention in the room will be on Snooki (as a guest of MTV) and Courtney Stodden (as a guest of InTouchWeekly).