The Publicists, I Mean, The People Have Spoken! Beyonce Is The World’s Most Beautiful Woman!

April 25, 2012 / Posted by:

People has released their annual World’s Most Beautiful Woman issue (known to you and me as the Whose Publicist Agreed To Give People The Most Exclusive Stories And Photo Spreads In Exchange For A Title That Doesn’t Mean Shit? issue) and Beyonce beat out the likes of Christina Hendricks, Sofia Vergara and Paula Patton for the crown. Meanwhile, Solange was just named, for the 10th time in a row, the Basement’s Most Beautiful Baby by Moth Ball Magazine (subscriber count: 1).

Beyonce used her interview with People to let all of you pillow baby conspiracists know that B.I.C. came directly from her cashmere-covered womb. If you’re a South American surrogate living in a Manhattan apartment mysteriously bought by a company called Lace Front Inc., please hold your laughter.

“I feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt because I’ve given birth. I have never felt so connected, never felt like I had such a purpose on this earth.

The best thing about having a daughter is having a true legacy. The word ‘love’ means something completely different now.”

No comment. But I will comment on that cover. I, for one, am glad Beyonce was named the World’s Most Beautiful Woman, because if she wasn’t we wouldn’t see this picture that looks straight out of a Glamour Shots in New Mexico.

And now I leave you with these pictures of Dlisted’s Most Beautiful Woman, Auntie Dionne, getting all the numbers in Philadelphia last night.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >