Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 25, 2012 / Posted by:

The planet’s newest world wonder: Pizza Hut’s Cheeseburger Crusted Pizza! This utopia of deliciousness is only sold at Pizza Huts in the Middle East, so yeah, I’ll see all of you at the airport. It’ll be easy to spot me in the security line, because I’ll be the one grabbing onto my stomach bag as it tries to escape out of my ass. I don’t even recognize the sounds my stomach is making right now. This is what it sounds like when your will to live cries.

We were told as children that the cheeseburger crusted pizza was a mythical creature that only existed deep inside of Kirstie Alley’s greasy dreams, but dreams are made to come true. Pizza Hut’s Crown Crust Pizza also comes with a chicken fillet stuffed crust, but who cares about that when you can wrap your eating hole around a pizza that is giving birth (or shitting) out tiny cheeseburgers! It’s like a piece of Jessica Simpson’s afterbirth in your mouth.

One of my arteries popped just from watching the commercial and that’s always a good sign!

I don’t know whether I should feel proud or disappointed that this Giving Up On Life Special didn’t come from the fat bitch capital of the world: America. Yeah, I definitely feel the latter, but I’ll be proud to be an American again when Pizza Hut US introduces the first ever deep fried bacon stuffed cheeseburger crusted pizza wrapped in a corn dog shell with a tub of Hidden Valley Ranch dipping frosting on the side. Don’t me down, Amurica!

via Eater

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