Hide Your Jewelry, Michelle Obama, Here Comes LiLo!

April 25, 2012 / Posted by:

Fine silverware will be traded for Dixie plastic sporks and an open bar will be traded for a pitcher of water at the White House Correspondents Dinner this year, because Lindsay Lohan will show up as a guest of Greta Van Susteren. LiLo will join an illustrious list of past White House Correspondent Dinner guests that includes Kim Kardashian, Bristol Palin, Jeremy Piven, Brooke Burke, Sanjaya, Justin Bieber, Jessica Simpson and Omarosa. I know, reading that list is like visiting the planetarium. So many bright shiny stars! If they were a constellation, their name would be the Orilly (short for the O Rilly These Whores Were Actually Invited To The White House?). Susan Sarandon has no laughs for that.

LiLo’s spokeswhore confirms to The Washington Post that she will be there along with her lawyer Shawn Holley who I’m guessing will be there as a crackheadsitter to make sure that ho doesn’t break a glass over Hillary Clinton’s head for looking at her wrong.

The bad news is that Michelle Obama will have to Super Glue her diamond bracelet to her wrist if she doesn’t want LiLo to snatch it away like the sneaky thief she is. But the good news is that the Secret Service don’t have to go all the way to Colombia to get some leased coochie. This time, the call girl is coming to them!

And here’s LiLo looking like a freshly bloomed marigold at a Star Magazine party in L.A. last night.

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