The Government Is Watching Susan Sarandon

April 24, 2012 / Posted by:

Susan Sarandon’s friends now know why every time there’s a leak in her ceiling, she truly believes it’s from a wire tapper in her attic dropping his glass of water after a rat jumped in front of him. During a Q&A about politics at the Tribeca Film Festival with fellow liberal activist Michael Moore, an audience member asked both of them if they’ve ever felt like they were under surveillance. Susan says something in the government milk definitely ain’t clean, because her phone has been tapped and the White House isn’t about to let her in. From HuffPo:

After an audience member asked the pair if they believed they were “under surveillance,” Sarandon said she didn’t just believe it, she knew it. “I’ve had my phone tapped … I’ve gotten my file twice under the Freedom of Information Act,” she said, before mentioning the security clearance snafu. She said she had no idea why the clearance was denied, and jokingly asked the questioner if he knew the reason. (The Huffington Post has reached out to the White House for comment.)

Moore, responding to a separate question, said he had been the target of a “disinformation campaign,” possibly engineered by the federal government. “I was told this by some people in the Bush administration. They went bonkers when ‘Fahrenheit’ came out and thought it would throw the election to Kerry,” he said, referring to his 2004 documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11,” which came out five months before the election that pitted sitting president George W. Bush against Senator John Kerry.

The White House won’t let Susan in because The Banger Sisters was a federal offense and somebody has to pay for it.

Maybe it’s because I’ve listened to too many crazy ranting homeless prophets on the subway and I’m starting to believe them, but I was under the impression that the government is WATCHING ALL OF US. I thought all politicians and shit spend their day eating Bugles in their dirty panties on the sofa while watching us on the thousands of screens in front of them. Sort of like The Hunger Games but with less child murder. That’s not a filling in your molar, that’s an audio recording device. That’s not a coat rack in your bedroom, that’s a treadmill with a hidden camera in it.

Since the government is watching us at all times, can those motherfuckers please drop a tube of lube at the foot of my bed when I run out of lotion during fap times? I’m sure I have at least one sponsor who feels my pain.

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