And Here Comes The Grand Marshals Of The Tournament Of Whores Parade

April 24, 2012 / Posted by:

The Illuminati’s very own Brangelina kept up the stunts last night by joining claws while doing the LOOK AT US strut past the paparazzi at the opening of Scott Disick’s restaurant in NYC. Scott Isadick opened his new Patrick Bateman-themed restaurant called American Psycho Grill, which serves cheese-stuffed roasted rat and a noodle dish named Chop Huey Lewis and the News. No, I wish. Scott opened up a Japanese restaurant in the Meatpacking District called RYU, because he knows so much about Japanese food. Please, that restaurant is a front. It’s obviously the East Coast whore headquarter’s for the Kuntrashian’s whore activities.

Why do you think Kanye Kardashian née West was there? As soon as Kanye walked through the doors, Pimp Mama Kris took him to a back room where he was officially baptized into the Kuntrashian Klan by spilling his bladder water onto the forehead of Kim Kardashian’s ass (yes, her ass is so big it has a forehead) as Khloe branded the mark of the dark side (aka the letter “K”) into one of his ass lips with a heated bronzer stick. Kanye is officially a Kardashian. And now you know why Jesus walks. It’s because he’s going to the nearest computer station in heaven to unfriend Kanye on Facebook.

In other Kuntrashian non-news, Kim tells Paper that she’s famous because of the Internet (Note: That right there is the number one reason Time Warner operators will hear when they ask, “And why are you canceling your Internet today?“) and she loves blowing fake tanner kisses at her haters:

“I love writing them back. People will write me, ‘My phone battery lasts longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage,’ and I’ll write back, ‘Oh, which phone is that?’

When people are so stupid, you just have to have fun with it. Someone [without a profile photo] will say I’m fat, or a hairy Armenian, and I’ll write back, ‘Oh, that egg picture of yours is so gorgeous.'”

Kim’s koochie will give you a burning sensation and so will her comebacks. Of course Kim responds to her haters, what else is she going to do between doing nothing and doing nothing?

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