Hot Slut Of The Day!
The brave Philadelphia squirrel rescuer who is now the hero of the squirrel community after he saved one of their own from suffocating to death. (I think I just suffocated in a bag filled with all the euphemism possibilities in that sentence.) It's Monday which means that most of us are this squirrel today. We all have our head stuck in a bag (or stuck in your own ass if you're like me) waiting for some caring soul take to pity on us and yank us out while filming it for YouTube. So raise your morning cup of meth pipe water for this squirrel rescuer! Since this is the most important news story of the weekend, I'm sure CNN will break into their regularly scheduled programming when the squirrel community honors this dude with the Purple Nut of bravery.
via Arbroath
• 
errr.... yeah the guy is a grade A dipship. I'm struggling to understand the logic of standing on the bag at the same time as trying to rip it off the squirrel's head.
douche.
Submitted by lcat on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 9:39pm.
It's not the damn hurt locker, just yank the bag off.
*****************
LOLLL
You know you need a vacation from the city when you are scared of a squirrel! Dude was acting like it was a skunk.
I love these little phuckers. Years ago, I opened my patio deck blinds at dawn to find two of them chillaxin by the window. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a handful of shell-on peanuts and gently set them on the deck before shutting the screen. It became a ritual, and one that my then-Himalayan cats insisted on taking part.
Every morning, and without fail, before I could even make my morning joe, the cats were waiting by "the nut cabinet", and the two squirrels were waiting by the window for their treats. It was always the same. I'd place the nuts on the deck and shut the screen door. The squirrels, taking turns, would run up, grab a nut, and touch the cat's noses through the mesh. Then they would back-peddle a few steps, turn around, and get down with their bad selves on their snacks.
Twas amazing.
"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Fucking douche. Pull the bag off and move the fuck on. If you scared of pulling a foodbag of a squirrels head, try sticking your arm in a cows snatch to see if her calf is trying to come out ass first.
I ll never understand City-folk...
-------------------------------------------------
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
It's not the damn hurt locker, just yank the bag off.
It's unfortunate that the only thing I can think of in this life or death situation is:
"Business in the front, party in the back"
A few years ago, I was home alone, cleaning the house on my day off. I heard something in the leaf pile in the backyard so I went out to see if it was our neighbor's cat. It was a squirrel with a Yoplait yogurt container stuck on it's head.
I immediately grabbed my gardening gloves so I could pull the container off, but the squirrel had other ideas. It started running around and jumping in the air. Instead of being scared or worried, I started laughing. It was so funny, it kept jumping in the air and running really fast.
Meanwhile, I couldn't catch it because 1) I was too slow and 2) I was laughing so hard I couldn't really focus on catching it.
Finally the squirrel had worked it's way to our front yard. With one big jump, the squirrel went smack into the only tree in our front yard. The impact sent the Yoplait container one way and the squirrel the other way. And that was my "America's Funniest Home Video" winner that was never filmed. It still makes me laugh after all these years and I always cut the yoplait containers down both sides before recycling them so no other animal gets stuck.
You can't pray a lie.
Mark Twain
Wow. You're so kind of save the little guy after you made fun of him and decided to film him after doing so. Bravo. I'm sure the little guy appreciates your efforts, but the squirrel community is giving you the middle finger for making fun of a "guy" in need.
--------------------------------------
"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Basically, this video need to be nominated for a Darwin Award. Squirrels only get "aggressive" with food if people have fed them before and they expect handouts. Otherwise..blaming them for wanting our food is sort of silly. This world has never been an anything "what is mine, is yours" world.
Meh. You folks don't get out of the city enough. *lives out in the country and sees squirrels daily... including backyard*
A friend of mine who has rescued a number of injured animals (not her job, if she sees an injured animal she just rescues it) rescued a squirrel from a busy road and did it with a lot more class than this douchebag in the video!
that is some serious famewhoring right there-you film the poor destressed squirrel then approach it like you taking on a lion. even though it was great he FINALLY helped the squirrel the video stinks of doucheness!!!
City Boys, indeed!
I have three squirrels that visit regularly to steal food from my bird feeders. They really should get jobs at Cirque du Soleil because they are incredibly agile. Despite attempts to keep them away they figure out something - they are super smart. Unless, the city squirrel is infinitely more stupid, it would be able to get out of that bag without assistance.
Oh for ffs, the cute little critters don't do this:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT27EiLJhxLH5un9UW3NKxMjeKbuE7G1...
Should they do this?
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSwKn4c6fTsGNh9XXVa_dZWHv3c8VulQ...
We should only be afeerd of urban squirrels: :P
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRmdVNFlHS5rtnksgAzw7Xe1vZ3ZPe_T...
I was hand feeding squirrels during Saturday's baseball game. Those fuckers up there have NO fear of humans.
Meh, whatever, I think squirrels are cute.
Submitted by undinespragg on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:43am.
...They will sit on my window sill and tap at the window, staring at me with their beady little eyes. WTF?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOL!
Great picture: you with coffee mug in hand, suddenly stopped in mid-sip by six or seven bug-eyed, zombie-like squirrels tap-tap-tapping all Edgar Allan Poe on your kitchen window.
!!!
love it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.
I hate squirrels, and rather rejoice when I see a squished one in the road in front of my house. The little fuckers have absolutely destroyed my iris garden. Unfortunately, those canny litte bastards are fairly intelligent and rarely get hit. I also wish something bad would happen to the raccoon that lives in the storm sewer by my house...even tho s/he is cute as hell...very destructive. And good on the guy in the video. Even though I hate the damn things, I'd still probably rescue it from asphyxiation (and then swear at it next week while it dines in my garden.)
_.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._
"It's like if I go on Craigslist looking for peen and then clutch my pearls three hours later when I've suddenly got a dick in my ass. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!" - MK - 4/21/12
"That's a sin" - I haven't heard that one in a while! I miss phila.
Exactly SDR! It's the SOUND that is fun.
*struts around wif SDR wearing sheriff badges and shit*
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
http://somethingburning.com/ross-martin/squirrel-attacks-man/
It's *always* the grey ones...
*************************************
"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
He's so scared! LOL @ Vern & Whamo.
******************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Awesome Vern! I have one also. I'm scared of shooting "long guns" (rifles & shotguns) so I'm a badass with my Red Ryder. Give me a handgun or my BB gun anyway. I love hearing the PING when I shoot my shed or horse trailer.
Maybe I read too much Beatrix Potter growing up, but squirrels melt my cold and blackened heart. They're just so cute to watch -- scurrying frantically like little nervous crackheads.
I agree with others below though. You don't want to take chances with an animal in distress. Rabies innoculations are no joke.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat
Jesusfuckinchrist what a douche!
A squirrel will not attempt to bite your head off or anything in that matter.
--
Better a bottle in front o'me
than a frontal lobotomy
I remember squirrels in Rittenhouse Square coming up and trying to bully people for food. They'd get right up in your grill, on their hind legs and go, "Rit Rit Rit!"
The ones in my backyard do it too, (but from the tree on the patio).
And yeah, you'd think it was a mountain lion with a bag on its head...Good deed anyway.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
HAHA SDR!!
I haz one. (before anyone gets uppity, I couldn't hit the side of a barn IF I tried to use the damn thing. it just makes me feel badass.)
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Undine - You need a BB gun! Red Ryder BB gun to be specific. Pow pow pow!
If I had something to spray around my house to repel squirrel's I would. I would not go so far as to kill them, but to keep them away, yes. They will sit on my window sill and tap at the window, staring at me with their beady little eyes. WTF? I have to get up and bang on the window to get them to run off. That is not normal! It reminds me of when I was in Niagara Falls and the seagulls would not fly off because they were just eating all the trash that people left laying around. So gross and wrong.
*refuses to watch squirrel pron*
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Dislike squirrels. They're just rats with fluffy tails. They tear up the garden and eat the tulips.
I would NEVER approach a wild animal in distress. Especially if it can't see you.
*************************************
"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Whamo, getting it's freak on! Bwahahahahaha... tiny garters and stockings... heels and collar... And BAG? can't see it! LOL
SDR, Oooooooooo, now you've done it! No comment! *trying hard not to giggle* ;)
•-•-•-•-•-•
"Latin and Greek are not dead, they are immortal!"
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Submitted by Vern on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 9:46am.
PS-Whammmmo-he had to be cautious-he didn't have a chair wif him. :)
===============================================
Smartass! LMFAO!!!!
----------------------------------------
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 9:47am.
WR & Whamo - Oh here go hell come. That squirrel is the reincarnation of David Carridine!!!
----------------------------------
Oh look kkkkennnny the sssssqqqquirel is cccccccoming ttoo kkkkilll mmeee!!!
*said in Otto's voice from A Fish Called Wanda*
WR & Whamo - Oh here go hell come. That squirrel is the reincarnation of David Carridine!!!
Team Undine and Hekki (even tho you other hos made me laugh & laugh)
If a squirrel got near my babeh I would have been the ninja to fear.
PS-Whammmmo-he had to be cautious-he didn't have a chair wif him. :)
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 9:35am.
Whamo, Hahaha on the just laid squirrel, hmmm that would have been a tiny paper bag silly! Not auto-asphyxiation plastic! ;D
=============================================
auto-asphyxiation...LOL!!
It was just getting it's freak on!!?? :)
What a wuss! Are squirrels even known to bite? *afraid of rodents, so no clue* least he stopped to help the little thing out!
Whamo, Hahaha on the just laid squirrel, hmmm that would have been a tiny paper bag silly! Not auto-asphyxiation plastic! ;D
•-•-•-•-•-•
"Latin and Greek are not dead, they are immortal!"
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Undine, I am with you. I live in the city and while I don't hate squirrels the way I hate pigeons or rats, it's close. I've had them climb onto the stroller to get at the kids' snacks.
Sometimes I use my special squirrel click to bring all the squirrels in the vicinity to come running to me. Delights the children.
Also, there was a family of squirrels living in the ancient casement windows of our old apartment; the building was 150 years old. Eventually the landlord got the exterminator to chase them away. But ew.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 9:17am.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 9:08am.
Just grab the poor creature already!
=========================================
City boys eh SDR!!
-----------------------
Uh, yeah. He had on pants and long sleeves. If he was that skeered he could have used some gloves or a friggin' washcloth. Geez. I have yet to be mauled by a squirrel and they are EVERYWHERE! My house is surrounded and yet I'm still alive.
*watches suspiciously ou the window for wild squirrels of the plains*
WTF is he so scared of?
I kind of lurve squirrels. One day hubby and I were walking down the street in our 'hood and we saw a baby squirrel just chilling on the path. We stopped and cooed at it for a bit. Then, my husband very slowly leaned over and started petting it. Then, he picked him up and held him against his chest. The squirrel started climbing all over him and being very affectionate. We were *this* close to taking him home with us but remembered he was a wild animal. All the people walking on our side of the street crossed over to the other side though, lol.
/cool story bro
This guy needs a dumbass of the day award. I hate those things and anybody who lives in a large city should agree with me. They are just slightly cuter rats. One chewed through the screen in my kitchen window and got into my kitchen and went all crazy tearing into food packages. They are hardly even afraid of people anymore because they are always scavenging for food in people's trash. Ugh. And yes, he was right to approach it cautiously b/c those fuckers carry rabies.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 9:08am.
Just grab the poor creature already!
=========================================
City boys eh SDR!!
Hey, I would be extremely cautious about approaching a frightened rodent. They carry parasites and other diseases. They have sharp little teefs and claws.
No fank you. I'll be happy to call Animal Control.
HAHAHAAAA what a dipshit... and the squirrel doesn't seem very bright either.
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Just grab the poor creature already! Damn, he's not gonna go all Ninja Squirrel on you and rip your face off dude. Poor little rodent. He was just waiting to die. Glad he was saved by wussy boy.
Sweet Geeezuz you'd think he was approaching and crocodile for Pete's sake, nice to see but MAN what pussy!
How do we know it wasn't just an ugly squirrel that had just got laid?