Brace Yourselves For All The "Race To The Altar" Tabloid Covers.....
Jennifer Aniston's dreams of marrying an actual human man (instead of a Real Groom Doll) by her minister dog (she made him get officiated online a couple of years ago) while surrounded by Beanie Baby flower girls and Cabbage Patch bridesmaids in the basement chapel she's having built in her new Bel Air mansion is not going to happen, because she doesn't have time for that shit now that she has to beat those whores Brangelina to the altar. TMZ says that Jennifer Aniston is about to make every tabloid editor drown in a pool of their own panty pudding by marrying Justin Theroux this summer.
A source (aka their publicist) close to the Elounda Beach Hotel in Crete, Greece told TMZ that Jennifer was there recently checking the place out as a possibility for her wedding venue. Jennifer told the hotel that she's planning a July wedding. Jennifer chose Crete as the place she wants to break the spinster curse Maddox put on her, because that's where her dad is from.
Here we go.... Today's headline is "Jennifer Aniston to Marry in Crete" and tomorrow's headline will be "Angelina Jolie BUYS Crete." Next week's headline will be "Jennifer Aniston to wear Vera Wang" and that will be shortly followed by the headline "Angelina Jolie ADOPTS Vera Wang." The summer Olympics will be foreshadowed by hos watching Brangie and Jennifer Aniston racing each other to People's "YES! We're Married!" cover. I just hope that the camera man zooms in on Maddox right before he puts his foot in front of a sprinting Jennifer Aniston as she's about to pass Angie.
• 
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:40am.
Something tells me if this is true I will hate them ALL by end of summer.
------------------
Something tells me you are so very very correct. I'm boarding the Hate Them All bus right now.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:26am.
OK, question ladies...Is this dude good lookin???
I don't know how to call this one, sometimes he looks ok, other time he seems to have a severe case of "Butthead" head!
Like in this shot here, look at how disproportionate his head looks next to hers.
I don't know, he kinda freaks me out to be honest with you.
----------------------------------
I do think he's attractive, but yes. He does have a case of the Big Ol' Head. See also: Ben Affleck, Jude Law...
I hope once JA is married, the whole 'love triangle' mess ends in the tabloids. I doubt it though. She'll be on her honeymoon, and the stories will be about her tearful calls to Brad.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:51am.
I think you would have to turn to porn to find another actress who could evoke such raw emotion from their audience.
==================================
LMFAO!
I think Justin is HOT. Me thinks Whamo's jealous side is just coming out again ;)
**************************************************************
I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Jen is the most beautiful, talented actresses of her generation. Her wonderful portrayal of Rachel Green was exquisite. He romantic comedies have all been boldy endearing, and provoked quite a few tears from this cold heart. I think you would have to turn to porn to find another actress who could evoke such raw emotion from their audience.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:31am.
Yes! It's Butthead head! Sorry but that anencephaly is a deal breaker.
=========================================
anencephaly...Bwahaaaa!!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:33am.
Whamo, i'm with you, sometimes he appears to be kinda good looking, othertimes he looks like Eddie Munster.
---------------------------------------
Eddie Munster, that's good!!.....double Bwahaaaaa!
omg did u guys see this?? I read it in Life & Style.
"When asked who her bridesmaid was going to be Jennifer's eyes lit up "Raggedy Ann of course!" she replies giddily with a laugh. We're told by a trusted source that there's even a section in the bride's party for all her cats: Acrobat, Mushy, Fifi, Mr. Softbottom, Candy, Lyla, Swiss Miss, Geno, Bamboozler, Mr. Whitemittens, Pinky Toe, Bubbly, Princess Whisker Whisper, Nyla, Bon Bon, Nala, Beyonce, Helena, Smooches, Snickerdoodle, Red Velvet, Edy, Cherry, Titi, Alyx, Blossom, Leah, Cookie, Sir Tummy Tum, Dandelion, Lola, Edith, Florence, Ruby, Gracie, Lollipop, Cat Stevens, Fudge, and Milly!"
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
This chick is simply one of the most overrated, hyped, mediocre "actress". I just don't get the love-on people have for her. If not for Brad Pitt and her whoring publicist, Huvane, this woman would have, like her "Friends" co-stars, faded into relative obscurity. As for greasy Eddie Munster (I agree, he does resemble him), her supposed fiance, he jacked onto her bandwagon for the perks and recognition, nothing else. This woman's entire professional "career" and life is one non-stop publicity stunt...and sooner than later, the phone is gonna stop ringing for her.
That's an Orange on a toothpick. Actually, more pineapple shaped.
who the fuck cares. really! why does anyone give a shit? i do not have one fuck to give about any of this. someone call me when all of this bs is over.
-----------------------------------------
"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest
She'll never ruin her body with a child, that's all she has going for her.
I'm finding it hard to care about any of them.
I've been saying it for years...they are all in on this together. And most people have bought it hook, line and SINKER.
I could honestly care less about either one of them but if I had to muster up a tiny bit of care for one of them it would JA. At the very least I would much rather have her man, her body and her lifestyle. AJ and Brad looked like lukewarm death.
Something tells me if this is true I will hate them ALL by end of summer.
**************************************************************
I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Submitted by anonymous7643 on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:36am.
Yeah, because there is no other fathomable reason to get married except for the sake of raising children.
I can see the endless permutations of this neverending story... They hate each other, they're competing, they ran into each other, cunty stares were flashed, their best friends are talking smack, their kids are battling, they hate each other, the husbands were at the same premiere, they grabbed their wives' asses, they're living in the same city... and on and on, gold fodder for everyone! I'm onto you MK, hehehehe Seriously though, evil tabloids! And does it translate to $$$$? That's my question! ;D
•-•-•-•-•-•
"Latin and Greek are not dead, they are immortal!"
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Submitted by No Words on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:19am.
How many of you think that the big Brangelina engagement announcement happened because JenA was close to marrying Justin? Angelina is an evil witch and Brad is dickless, just like always.
---
ITA. However, methinks Ho and Stupitt can't survive a week without media coverage so in the lieu of not having any projects coming up, they've pulled the ultimate media-whoring act-engagement!!!!Next-pregnancy or adoption. Whichever will sell for more $$$
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:22am.
Loonies of either camp are equally moronic. Fuck BOTH AJ and JA.
**************************************************
THANK YOU!!! **high-fives GG ;) **
------------------------------------------------------
Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
Good for her. I've always liked Jen and thinks she's handled her celebrity status well. With all the shit she gets, I cannot imagine why anyone would want to be an actor these days.
Whamo, i'm with you, sometimes he appears to be kinda good looking, othertimes he looks like Eddie Munster.
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Why does she even want to get married? Who the fuck cares at this point. I think it's nice for the purpose of raising kids, but is she seriously considering a kid at this point? I really think that if she genuinely wanted one she would have just pulled a Charlize Theron and adopted one. Relax and enjoy your bazillions of dollars made off the prole tastes of the general public. I can see why Justin might want some sort of legal claim on her dough only obtainable through marriage, though.
I hate to say it because I despise Brangelinea, but her marriage to Brad Pitt was the best thing that ever happened to her fame and this triangle is truly the only interesting thing about her. Her movies absolutely suck.
IMO he is not at all good looking. But she ain´t either, so it´s a good match. But I´m still gonna say WHATEVAAAA! St. Angie may be all claws and veins and bitchiness but at least she´s not as bland as broccoli like Jen and her man.
i'm not understanding the "above it all eye-rolling exasperation" with the overkill mediahype on all things aniston and jolie while doing just that (committing overkill mediahype).
it's just a tad hypocritical, dyt?
.....................................................
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
http://youtu.be/p0mHxtpoq2c
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Oh well, maybe it will work. Or maybe the cold medicine I took made me write that. I feel pretty blissed out right now.
Whamo, I couldnt put my finger on it - on what made him look odd. Yes! It's Butthead head! Sorry but that anencephaly is a deal breaker.
Justin is an arttactive homosexual. Does he use Just For Men or Grecian Formula?
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
OK, question ladies...Is this dude good lookin???
I don't know how to call this one, sometimes he looks ok, other time he seems to have a severe case of "Butthead" head!
Like in this shot here, look at how disproportionate his head looks next to hers.
I don't know, he kinda freaks me out to be honest with you.
Are we still thinking she doesn’t care about Brad’s wedding? The timing is just bad even if that wasn’t her intention people are going to think she is desperate for having her wedding now. On a side note, Justin's head looks really big in that picture or has it always been that big?
Loonies of either camp are equally moronic. Fuck BOTH AJ and JA.
Their movies are crap too!
Submitted by mslewis on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:16am.
How did Jennifer Aniston manage to get to Crete without anyone noticing? Last I heard, you have to fly there and how can she do that without the paps noticing? I do think we are in for a lot of "who will be first to the alter" crap this Summer. That's why I'm hoping Angelina and Brad fly to Springfield, MO next month and have a nice little family wedding.
--------
If she did go, people may have noticed, but currently media news outlets in Greece are on strike. But I've noticed that Greek people don't really give a shit about celebrity sightings like they do in the U.S. You could be sitting next to one of the top singers in a club and no one will even talk about it or stare.
Oooh, they both look a little scary un-photoshopped. But then, don't we all?
How many of you think that the big Brangelina engagement announcement happened because JenA was close to marrying Justin? Angelina is an evil witch and Brad is dickless, just like always.
They are such a cute couple...
I hope her ring blows away that glass crap that Jolie's sportin'.
Pitt & Jolie should've just gotten married and been done with it but of course it's a bigger payday when you drag out an engagement. Mnnipultive fuckers.
How did Jennifer Aniston manage to get to Crete without anyone noticing? Last I heard, you have to fly there and how can she do that without the paps noticing? I do think we are in for a lot of "who will be first to the alter" crap this Summer. That's why I'm hoping Angelina and Brad fly to Springfield, MO next month and have a nice little family wedding.
Saw him in Mulhound Drive this weekend, he was pretty good and quite attractive with his dark glasses in this movie. It was a pretty messed up movie, but I liked him in it.
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Im happy for her. Tired of hearing about brangelina all the time.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz