The housekeeping department at The Standard Hotel no longer has to worry about wiping dirty bronzer skid marks from the toilet seats Lindsay Lohan does lines off of, because she has vowed to never ever terrorize that place again. LiLo made that decision, because she somehow magically keeps getting into bitch brawl after bitch brawl there. You know, because the place is the drunked up, cracked out mess, not her. TMZ says that LiLo is on the prowl for a new place to haunt and so every bar in L.A. should probably only use plastic glasses from now on. TMZ also said this shit:
We’re told Lindsay is fully aware she’s now a big fat target … knowing full well there are people who want either quick publicity, some easy money or both — but she vows not to become a shut-in out of fear.
As for Wednesday’s drink-throwing debacle — Lindsay admits she was at The Standard’s nightclub Smoke and Mirrors … but insists the other girl was the instigator.
What ever happened to LiLo promising to spend her nights knitting bible verses into pillow cases while sipping lukewarm lemon water from a mug? This dumb bitch. Trouble doesn’t go looking for LiLo, LiLo goes looking for trouble. It’s like if I go on Craigslist looking for peen and then clutch my pearls three hours later when I’ve suddenly got a dick in my ass. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! If LiLo wasn’t dumber than a suppository, she’d monetize being a mess. She’d move back to the East Coast, join the cast of Mob Wives and get paid to scrap with hos in bars.
(Picture via Pacific Coast News)