Taylor Swift Might Play Joni Mitchell
When your stiff-as-a-concrete-erection acting skills in Valentine's Day made Taylor Lautner look like an organic human creature who is capable of producing natural emotions in front of a camera, you should quit the acting shit while you're not ahead and stick to what you're good at: goat yodeling, bearding and training hos to look really surprised at their own surprise parties. Taylor Swift isn't taking my advice, because Variety (via HuffPo) is hearing that she's talking to the producers of Girls Like Us to play Joni Mitchell in the movie. Yeah, so now you know why you saw Joni Mitchell at the coffin store asking the salesperson which one is best for rolling in.
Girls Like Us is based on a book by the same name is about Joni Mitchell, Carole King and Carly Simon in the 60s through the 70s. The producers at looking at Alison Pill as a possibility to play Carole King. CDAN said a couple of months ago that Taylor was going to play Joni, but Variety says this is only an idea and the producers haven't passed her a contract to sign yet. That means there's still time to stop this disaster from happening! It's not too late. I've looked at this from both sides now and both sides are screaming out NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
First, there's a rumor that RiRi's going to play Whitney Houston and now this shit is stabbing us in the soul? What's next? Miley Cyrus as Karen Carpenter? Whores are all about holograms right now, so why don't they just create a hologram of a young Joni Mitchell and make it play a young Joni Mitchell. Or hell, get Hologram Tupac to play Joni Mitchell, because I'd rather see that than listen to Taylor Swift warble out "A Case You."
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Submitted by boston61 on Sat, 04/21/2012 - 11:34am.
It's a different era. The American public has become so stupid. There are no longer any talents like Joni because the stupid people will buy dim wit Taylor's crap "product:". This is a county that reelect George W. freaking Bush.
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lol
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Winter is coming!
'A case of ew'
Buff it to a spit shine!
i was fence-sitting on this issue until now, but i now officially hope our civilization ends in 2012.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I have zero confidence that this movie (if it ever gets made and released), will be watchable. Just have fellow Canuck Celion Dion apply her special brand of fuckery to it and be done with it.
Taylor schmaylor!
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"Latin and Greek are not dead, they are immortal!"
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
It's a different era. The American public has become so stupid. There are no longer any talents like Joni because the stupid people will buy dim wit Taylor's crap "product:". This is a county that reelect George W. freaking Bush. Not only is the man not smart he is truly a dumb F. This is a country that will make a great president like Mr. Obama fight tooth and nail against a corporate sociopath like Romney (his wife is a huge kunt btw). There are on Joni's today because America has become too dumb to appreciate them.
Raging crybaby Swift of all fucking people.
You can't mess with Joni man... this is a travesty.
Where's M.E.?!
M.E. I need some outrage up here stat!! :)
Ahh wait, there you were on page 1. Nevermind!
I'm tellin' y'all bitchez, I can't wait to hear comments from Joni on this.
Love her, love ALL her music and she's one of my life muses….but when Joni gets her shade on, folks wonder if the sun was extinguished, because she can be a cold, cold bitch.
She's drop kicked bigger (David Crosby, Sting, etc.) so she could decimate Taylor before she even lights her first cig of the day.
"no regrets, coyote!"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 9:37pm.
next up... Aretha Franklin gives an Oscar winning performance as Karen Carpenter
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Lol!!!
Yeah, I'm sure Joni Mitchell is just f'ing thrilled about this. Swifty is a dumb ho' who CANNOT SING. She "made it" due to looking halfway attractive and having fabulously rich parents who bankrolled the promo juggernaut that made her famous. Life sucks.
"I know you don't like weak women
You get bored so quick
And you don't like strong women
'Cause they're hip to your tricks
It's been dirty for dirty
up and down the line
But you know
I come when you call
and you're loving and kind"
love love love Joni
__wealthychat.CoM__ is the place you can date, love, marry successful, beautiful and rich single s and Admires.!Every qualitive single is welcome here!
Your Joni Mitchell knowledge is awesome young Michael K. I loved her in the day - especially A Case Of You - and still admire.
Taylor Swift (has no depth or power of her own and her presence is just another boring product invention) blech!
OMG, Rooney freaking MARA should play Mitchell, I don't care if she can sing or not. She's got the "waif/balls of steel bitch" thing down. Put a blond wig on her and be done with it. And Alison Pill as Carole King? In which fucking universe - Bizarro World? This is a role meant for Lea Michelle, for God's sake.
And too bad Rebecca Hall isn't younger, because she'd make a kick-ass Carly Simon.
Taylor Swift can't sing, has no personality and she can't fucking SING. If they give her the role Mitchell will probably cut her, and I'll be there to help. Swift as Mitchell is tantamount to Lohan as Liz Taylor - laughable AND an insult.
Taylor needs to take off the ten pounds of make-up to play Joni.
Well she's too skinny to play Mama Cass plus she had a better voice.
I agree, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Well, if she's the headliner at least I'll know to avoid this. Holograms are way preferable to chipmunks! hahaha
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"Latin and Greek are not dead, they are immortal!"
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
Submitted by Cara on Fri, 04/20/2012 -5:11pm.
I don't understand Taylor Swift in the same way I don't understand Blake Lively. They both seem about as interesting as tepid chicken broth.
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Lol
orrrr they could cast Lizzie Olsen (who I think takes a resemblance to Joni) and cut this Taylor Swift shit out. Will Hollywood ever learn that this bitch is less talented than the corn stuck between my teeth?
next up... Aretha Franklin gives an Oscar winning performance as Karen Carpenter... wait... they both have/had talent... this idea may not get green lit.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Free Man in Pairs, Paved Paradise Put up a Parking Lot, help me , great, GREAT songs....Joni makes me feel good, her voice and music are soothing ....fuck Taylor and all these no talent kids trying to capture pure genius...I hate 2012 and this fucking pop culture zillionaire no talent barely out of puberty kids.....come on Mayans end this shit now!!!
What about Jennifer Lopez? She is a mega talent.
Wow they could be mother and daughter.
K-Stew as Joan Jett, Taylor Swift as Joni...What's next? Demi Lovato as Janis Joplin? Lea Michele as Patti Smith?
where does it end?
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Winter is coming!
Where is Kanye when you need him?
Haha!
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 6:32pm.
at least they didn't ask beyonce to do it.
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A black Joni, that WOULD be funny!
No worries. This will go down the same way Swift's part in Les Mis did---recasted.
YES! I'm SCREAMING NOOOOOO!!! It's the sign of End Times!!
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“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
― Dorothy Parker
No point in repeating the obvious. So, what is up with that ash-grey-blonde hair color?
at least they didn't ask beyonce to do it.
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God don't like ugly.
Sorry, but Taylor's got devoid eyes and zero true passion (I'm talking about that do-or-die, feeling-it, transforming soul like Brando at 27yrs old in Streetcar shit, or James Dean in Rebel at 24yrs old). I can't see her pulling out depth for this acting gig. We'll see, I guess.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse & Houston, 2011) *caprica six was/is here*
Yeah, so now you know why you saw Joni Mitchell at the coffin store asking the salesperson which one is best for rolling in.
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I swear MK how has Hollywood not knocked at your door yet? I don't know how many wickedly funny and original lines we've read from you over the years!
From Both Sides, is one of the prettiest songs going.
"Mitchell at the coffin store asking the salesperson which one is best for rolling in."
HA! Although Tupac hologram as Joni would be interesting.
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 5:49pm.
The young'uns have little idea who JM is. The oldies won't pay to have their cultural icon trashed in this way.
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Absolutley, excellent point!
She may play her but she sure the hell can't sing her!
Submitted by youarestupid on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 4:51pm.
I think Joni Mitchell is that freak who got a bath in pigs blood at the prom
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lol well they certainly look alike but Gwyneth Paltrow and Mia Havetogooglehersurname are down for the Sissy Spacek biopic. All our dreams will come true if the pigs blood scene is reenacted with Goop.
Can't be any worse than the casting here. I'm no fan of Joni, but I respect her as a legendary songwriter.
Taylor Swift cannot sing at all whereas Mitchell was renowned for her vocal range so don't get this. Alison Pill as Carole King is inspired though, can see that.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
After actors wanted to sing; I guess the singers collectively shook their fists saying "why you!" ,and decided to act. Meanwhile, professionally trained people from both sides are ignored.
*shrug*
Clotted cream on a towel as a Holiday Inn towel that just spent the night with Adam Levine
Taylor Swift's eyes as Rene Zellweger's eyes while being propped open
On the plus side this has given me so many ideas for who should play who in a biopic...such Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs as Coco's ass cheeks
The idea that Taylor Swift - singularly untalented - might be cast to play JONI MITCHELL - one of the most talented singer/songwriters of all time - makes me literally sick to my stomach.
Who dreamed up this stupidity?
Taylor Swift will be playing Jerry(from Tom and Jerry fame)as Joni Mitchell
All of your comments are reassuring. Unfortunately, the Industry has its own rules and they're not premised on artistic integrity.
But just in economic terms, this doesn't make sense. The young'uns have little idea who JM is. The oldies won't pay to have their cultural icon trashed in this way. More like a Lifetime movie if anything.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
If this is a Lifetime movie, shoot me - Please! I don't wish to live in such a world as that.
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“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
― Dorothy Parker
"now you know why you saw Joni Mitchell at the coffin store asking the salesperson which one is best for rolling in." You slay me, MK!
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"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK
I can now finally understand the reasoning behind Iran's ban on Western cinema.
Yeah, but Joni's actually talented
Taylor Swift fills a formerly empty niche - she's young, blonde and skinny. Whether she can sing or not remains up for some serious debate. She seems to play a guitar, which Miley Cyrus doesn't. Cyrus is also vying for the same niche - young country star, but Cyrus is dirty. Swift seems virginal, the way Brit Brit did before we all found out otherwise. Swift needs to save her money because this WILL come to a screeching (voice pun) end soon.
I'd like to see Al Pacino play Columbo.
Other than that, no more vampires for me.
Submitted by TOPANGA
This will be the most boring movie ever. And did I read somewhere that Joni is part black?
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No, Jimi was part black.