Open Post: Hosted By The 3 Second Rule

April 20, 2012 / Posted by:

Because one of my dog’s teefs chose today to fuck with him, I had to take him to the doggy dentist to get it pulled out (that’s what he gets for smoking meth) and so I’m getting a later start than usual. (“Bitch, don’t blame it on the dog. We all know you’re starting late, because you spent your 4/20 morning hot boxing in the bathroom to open the pores in your brain.” – you) While I get my shit together, get into the gracefully beautiful Texas flower Lisa Gail using her natural auto-tune-free “hound dog with a nasal infection getting circumcised with a rusty screwdriver” voice to school us on the 3 second rule. You’ll want to use the 219 second rule while watching this glorious musical masterpiece.

Some people are calling Lisa Gail a Real Housewife from Rebecca Blackville, but this blossom sprouted form the garden of Linda Hogan does it so much better. Did Rebecca Black have back-up singers that sound like a deaf cat orgy? No. Did Rebecca Black’s video provide you with several servings of denim camel toe? No. Did Rebecca Black decorate her eyes with a wide tip black marker? No. Did Rebecca Black have dancers that moved like they were trying hard to not break down into shameful tears over agreeing to do this shit? No. This has all of that and more!

And I even had to use the 3 second rule several times while watching this. I mean, Lisa Gail’s beauty and talent is so potent that you can only take it 3 seconds at a time.

via Jezebel (Thanks to everybody who sent this in)

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