Elisabetta Canalis Got Dumped By Steve-O

April 19, 2012 / Posted by:

Elisabetta Canalis went from George Clooney’s awards season escort to rubbing on Eggs from True Blood, and somehow she tumbled all the way down onto Steve-O’s peen that is probably mangled from lighting firecrackers in his dick mouth. Elisabetta is now back on the prowl looking for the next semi-relevant piece to get her into the back page of Life & Style, because Steve-O has officially quit her ass for being a non-stop partying wreck. Some source tells Radar that Steve-O is one hundred percent sober and Elisabetta is basically a coke vacuum (so I’ve heard).

“Steve-O dumped Elisbetta over her partying. He is extremely serious about his sobriety and did not want to be dating anyone who could jeopardize that.

He still really cares about her but can’t risk relapsing back into his old ways, so he had to cut her loose. He has hooked her up with some women that he knows to help her try and get back on a stable footing again, and she has been attending meetings.
Steve-O said he thinks she’s committed to getting control of her life again and that he will help her do that, he wants her to control the partying for her own sake. But, in the meantime he needs to distance himself from her.”

If I was Elisabetta, I’d be so mad at coke right now. Like I’d be yelling at coke. I wouldn’t even be able to look at it. Not because she’s allegedly addicted to it and would sell her left nipple to an underground black market nipple ring for an 8-ball. Nothing like that. But because it’s the reason why she’s been publicly humiliated by getting dumped……BY STEVE-O! Getting dumped by Steve-O is like the bottom of a barrel not letting you sit on it because you’re not good enough for it. If that doesn’t clean her up, I don’t know what will. Who is she going to date now? Jesse Camp’s weekend weed man? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

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