The Real Housewives Of Atlanta Will No Longer Be As Elegant And Sophisticated

April 18, 2012 / Posted by:

Personally, I think Sheree throwing the lines “Fix that face” and “Trim down those doggy teeth” at NeNe during the reunion earned her a ticket for season 5 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but Bravo isn’t trying to agree with me. However, Marmaduke’s cousin twice removed at the water dish is out there trying to spin it like she’s the one who opened the exit door instead of getting evicted from the cast. Sheree told Wet Paint that the rumor that she was fired from the cast is false and she’s leaving on her own free will. CAUTION: Delusion ahead.

“After four solid seasons of helping Bravo build the show into its most successful Housewives franchise, I have decided to leave. The direction the show is going in is no longer a fit for my lifestyle. I’m tired of the fighting and the cattiness.”

I want to be part of something that empowers and inspires women to not only be healthy, but to treat themselves with respect. I wish the rest of the women the best of luck. I’m thrilled to say I’m now a free agent and am already fielding offers.”

Translation: “After four solid seasons of making myself look like a delusional ass, I have decided to calmly leave before Bravo gets their security to drag me out. The direction the show is going in is no longer a fit for my lifestyle since the producers expect us to have money and I’ve only got a pile of dirt, a patch of grass and a few logs of squirrel shit to my name. I’m not joking. Have you seen Chateau Sheree lately? I’m tired of buying $1200 dresses to wear on camera and I’m really tired of those salespeople at Neiman’s rolling their eyes at me when I go to return that shit. I was about to say that I’m tired of the cattiness, but then I realized that I’m usually the bitch who starts it all!

I want to be a part of something that pays in cash and requires me to do as little as possible. I wish the rest of the women will go to hell. I’m thrilled to say I need a damn job and am already fielding offers. And by that I mean two bill collectors are trying to crawl through my A/C vent. Who gon check me boo? Oh, Bravo just did.”

But seriously, I, for one, will miss Sheree’s beautiful delusions of grandeur. It takes a special someone to drive around in a leased $120,000 Porsche with confidence while tumbleweeds blow through her checking account.

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