Kim Kartrashian Wants To Be Mayor

April 17, 2012 / Posted by:

Kim Kartrashian has a sex tape, was married to a primitive dildo solely for publicity, barely pays taxes, thinks the poors are gross, has zero sense of real reality, would kick a disabled blind kitty for a dollar and so her natural next step in life is straight into the world of politics. I’ve always said that the tip or Ray J’s boomerang dick is a stepping stone to running a city. Kim is already mayor of Whoresdale on Foursquare, but now she wants to be a the real maywhore of Glendale, CA. In a completely attention whory clip (and I’m falling for it) for the newest episode of Khlozilla & Lamar, Pimp Mama Kris’ head ho tells Khloe about her plans to make Glendale’s population drop from 200,000 people to a couple of golden shower fetishists:

“I decided I’m going to run for the mayor of Glendale. So you have to have full residency in Glendale… So for real, Noelle’s going to head my campaign, but it’s going to be in like 5 years. So I have to buy a house there. You have to buy a house there. Noelle and I are looking into the requirements and I’m literally going to have a huge… She’s going to help me with my campaign. Cause it’s like Armeniantown. But I need to wait like 5 years.”

Because this useless piece of non-news should be taken seriously by the former mayor of Glendale, the former mayor of Glendale Ara Najarian is taking it seriously and tells The Los Angeles Times that he has offered Kim the position of “honorary chief of staff” so she can learn about city policies and shit. I bet the Glendale’s city policies handbook is more than 140 characters long, so I’m hoping Ara Najarian is a genius who knows that Kim’s head will combust into bronzer dust and Kanye jizz if she reads anything longer than a Tweet.

As much as I’d like to see Kim run for maywhore on the platform of labia bleaches for everyone, this isn’t going to happen solely for the fact that I’m pretty sure a mayoral term is longer than 72 days.

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