Jennifer Aniston Doesn't Give A Shit About This After All
Hollywood Life, your source for all Barfgelina/Analstain fan fiction, said last week that Jennifer Aniston had nothing but smiles for the news that her ex-husband is now engaged to whore pit viper (© Joan Rivers) Angie Jolie and she would even RSVP a yes if she got an invite for the wedding. Well, now E! News is hearing from a source close to Jennifer that the Brangie engagement news has made her constipated and she has zero shits to give it. Jennifer cares more about planning the quinceanera of her eldest Cabbage Patch doll than she does about Brangie's stupid ass wedding. The source explained it like this:
"She doesn't care. She really doesn't. She's happy with Justin [Theroux]. She'll probably marry him. She's moved on. People don't want to believe it, but she has."
Now, this I believe. If Jennifer really wanted to experience a Brangelina wedding, she'd just make her own at home. Jen would make Justin Theroux wear a soft Brad Pitt mask she knitted with Brad's shed pubes. Then she'd put rubber lips on one of the garden lizards her dog caught, and call it Angie. Then as one her Precious Moments priest figurines presides over the ceremony, she'd bust in as Jennifer Aniston. Justin as Brad would drop garden lizard Angie, run to Jen and they'd re-consummate their true love in a bathtub full of ice cream soup. So yeah, Jen is over it (and yes, she's totally going to act out that scene on Brangie's real wedding day).
And about Angie's ring, which she wore while slithering around L.A. yesterday. People says it's 10 carats and cost around $1 million, but UsWeekly says it's 16 carats and cost around $500,000. Brad worked with jeweler Robert Procop for about a year on the ring and the diamond is supposedly conflict-free. The ring may be conflict-free, but it's not boring-free. Brad is a "design GENIUS" (- Brad Pitt) and RoboCop spent months looking for the perfect diamond, and this is the best they could come up with? RoboCop wasted his time. He could've just called QVC, because they have a ring just like that.
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Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:56am.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:51am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:50am.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:47am.
==================================================Is that what that flash of light was on the horizon a few minuets ago? :P
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Yeah, that was me getting out of my car.
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When your husband is coming to bed with welding glasses on it's time to get some sun:)
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Nope. That's for my chastity belt.
❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀
I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches. -- Brick Tamaland
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:19pm.
I know. Of many good things on that show, she was the best. She says she wants to get back to theatre and film. They're gonna have to kill her off, though...
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:21pm.
LOL! I think your mom and I would get along well!
LOL @ Rocket!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Sweetas...are the diamonds on the band emerald cut too?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:21pm.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:18pm.
I don't understand the point of getting a diamond that doesn't sparkle.
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My mom said the same thing. She is also incensed that it took allegedly "a year" to design.
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Well first of all, her finger kept shrinking so they had to keep resizing it.
This won't make us forget about the chicken leg incident. This little stunt queen move is the same shit as when Wonky left some place holding a Bible knowing full well she was going to be photographed. The anorexic heroin junkie is clearly not above all that and most definitely gives hundreds and fifties of shits about what people think about her.
I love how people are so worked up about the engagement. Nowhere - in not one place - has anyone seen these two say they're getting married. So they got engaged, so what. They haven't said they're getting married. A small distinction but an important one because, IMO, they won't ever actually go through with it. HE may believe they will, but I think she has no intention of marrying him.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:18pm.
I don't understand the point of getting a diamond that doesn't sparkle.
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My mom said the same thing. She is also incensed that it took allegedly "a year" to design.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:12pm.
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Minx indeed! Well, SHIT!! That must be her choice though---they wouldn't have given her the boot, would they? *forms petition*
I don't understand the point of getting a diamond that doesn't sparkle. The fire made by the facets reflecting light is the big show for me.
An emerald or ruby (or any beautifully colored gemstone) would have been better suited to the design of the ring, IMHO.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by heima on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:15pm.
What's the point of an engagement ring (famewhoring aside)? Just marry and disappear, you boring stupid twats.
Of course their marriage will be very private (like everything in their lives): a ceremony in Cambodia, or Namibia, or Vietnam. She'll wear a Louis Vuitton bag, he'll wear an original Frank Lloyd-Wright's project sheet, the kids will dress like a homeless (per usual).
And after a month they will sell the pictures to People, and OF COURSE give the takings to charity.
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I LOVE this post! Especially the "FLW project sheet". lolololololololololol!
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:00pm.
Or you could just CHILL. THE. FUCK. OUT.
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Orrrrrrrr you could BLOW. ME.
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"So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school and no, I'm not making that up." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:15pm.
Hey! I carry my handbag in the crook of my elbow.
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OLD LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I keed, keed!) ; )
Hey! I carry my handbag in the crook of my elbow.
What's the point of an engagement ring (famewhoring aside)? Just marry and disappear, you boring stupid twats.
Of course their marriage will be very private (like everything in their lives): a ceremony in Cambodia, or Namibia, or Vietnam. She'll wear a Louis Vuitton bag, he'll wear an original Frank Lloyd-Wright's project sheet, the kids will dress like a homeless (per usual).
And after a month they will sell the pictures to People, and OF COURSE give the takings to charity.
Yikes! Go luck Brad with Bicycle Body Angelina..
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
Night Owl - WELL FUCK! That is the movie I meant. NOT A River Runs Through It.
DAMNIT!
*reports self for stupidity*
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:55am.
I'm sorry, but THIS is how you wear a classic ensemble...
hahaha. That saucy minx. They say this is her last season on Downton Abbey. :(
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by CindyBman on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:37am.
You are right! You know, only old ladies carry their purses in the crook of their arms UNLESS it is Granny Jolie, trying to show off the ring.
Thanks. A friend picked it out actually. (re: avi).
The ring is so big (and plain) that it looks fake.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
This should also be filed under "Skinny Bones Jones." Move over, Marc Antony, there's a new Skeletor in town!
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Devil's advocate.
Great blood diamond Miss Humanitarian. Congrats hypocrite!
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Submitted by catfight357 on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:44am.
No, but my mom has a friend from your neck of the woods who dresses like Jolie.
Beautiful place you are in! I was there YEARS ago, but found it to be gorgeous!
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:00pm.
Or you could just CHILL. THE. FUCK. OUT.
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Er...
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:47am.
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:36am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 10:42am.
"People don't want to believe it but she has".
WE. DON'T. FUCKING. CARE. I. HOPE. YOU. FUCKING. DIE.
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Honestly, I think you are taking this a bit far. Relax. They're just celebs and if they bother you so much, don't read about them, cause wishing someone would die is a little over the line.
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How 'bout severe bodily harm? Will you go for that? Maybe losing a limb? How bout that?
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Or you could just CHILL. THE. FUCK. OUT.
This whole engagement thing reeks of desperation. They are milking this for all the PR it's worth.
Well, she hasn't been knocked up in awhile, awards season is over, so I guess they needed something to keep their mugs in the news. Maybe Papa Pitt said no to buying another kid.
Hahahaha Whamo @ "arms that look like there should be crows perched on them" She looks sick. Her face is still gorgeous but she looks like a bent old lady in the body. She's just so...sinewy. :p
The reason her stone doesn't sparkle is because it's an emerald cut and so not faceted to return light to the eye like a round brilliant. It's in the maths.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:47am.
Considering I'm in a sundress that sweeps the floor because my legs are so white I could blind people, I refuse to comment on her skin color.
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Oh, I feel you. I have the alabaster skin that burns if I don't wear suncream in front of the computer. So I won't comment either. She's not even that pale by my standards.
Night Owl, he was crazy hot in Troy...*sigh*
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A River Runs Through It. Hands down hottest of Brad.
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I agree. I also liked the way he looked in Legends of the Fall, although I don't know if he was with Aniston then.
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HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Whamo.
He told me last night I need to go to the tanning booth before I wear shorts or any sundresses, that I should be embarassed about how WHITE I am.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:55am.
I'm sorry, but THIS is how you wear a classic ensemble...
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LMAO!!! That's classic!!!
thxs salacious. :)) srsly this is the only place i ever comment.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:51am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:50am.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:47am.
==================================================Is that what that flash of light was on the horizon a few minuets ago? :P
************************************************
Yeah, that was me getting out of my car.
==================================================
When your husband is coming to bed with welding glasses on it's time to get some sun:)
Submitted by guest on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:34am.
No need for the feeding tube diet before her big day!
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ha!
Anniston can't win. She's going to be asked it and no matter how she answers, she's not going to come out of it well.
If she doesn't answer the questions, she's clearly bruised and traumatised and defensive.
If she answers it seriously, she's clearly bringing it up and is not over it.
If she tries to use humour (didn't she jokingly say that she was so cool with Brangelina that she hung out with Maddox?) then the Brangeloonies excoriate her for, uh, daring to mention one of the most public children in Hollywood.
I'm sorry, but THIS is how you wear a classic ensemble...
http://cdnbakmi.kaltura.com/p/695492/sp/69549200/thumbnail/entry_id/0_ol...
And BRADI!!! ♥♥
Why does she continue to walk around looking so smug like "HA HA I WON".
Dried up cheater of a man with Melissa Etheridge's 1990's hair
Unruly/unsettled brood who will all be teenagers at about the same time
Loss of looks, popularity and sanity
She must buy into Charlie Sheen's definition of winning.
If she slipped and fell on those steps you'd be playing a game of pick up sticks.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:50am.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:47am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:45am.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:39am.
She does NOT look fine. She is a skeleton.
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Considering I'm in a sundress that sweeps the floor because my legs are so white I could blind people, I refuse to comment on her skin color.
==================================================Is that what that flash of light was on the horizon a few minuets ago? :P
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Yeah, that was me getting out of my car.
Why did it take Brad a year to design the ring, all he needed to do was pick out the cut of stone and select a band, unless he mined for the diamond, it should only take a couple of hours.
JACKO!!!!!!!
I couldn't not lay an egg of this lower chat about the artist momz.
BAWK BAWK BAWK!!!!!
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
"Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country".
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:47am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:45am.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:39am.
She does NOT look fine. She is a skeleton.
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Considering I'm in a sundress that sweeps the floor because my legs are so white I could blind people, I refuse to comment on her skin color.
==================================================Is that what that flash of light was on the horizon a few minuets ago? :P
Submitted by guest on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:40am.
salacious...no. lol
Cupcake! hahahaha...*ageism reported!*
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I believe you!
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by CindyBman on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:19am.
...yet she's doing the special handbag sling
^^^^^^^^
*that's* the term I was looking for!
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:43am.
Yes, Jack, don't be irrational, and please remember you have a wonky ticker!
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hahahahaa!! :p****
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"So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school and no, I'm not making that up." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:45am.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:39am.
She does NOT look fine. She is a skeleton.
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LOL, Hey ME what's better, the arms that look like there should be crows perched on them or the ghoul skin?
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Considering I'm in a sundress that sweeps the floor because my legs are so white I could blind people, I refuse to comment on her skin color.
BRAAAAAADDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!
*TACKLES*
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"So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school and no, I'm not making that up." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:36am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 10:42am.
"People don't want to believe it but she has".
WE. DON'T. FUCKING. CARE. I. HOPE. YOU. FUCKING. DIE.
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Honestly, I think you are taking this a bit far. Relax. They're just celebs and if they bother you so much, don't read about them, cause wishing someone would die is a little over the line.
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How 'bout severe bodily harm? Will you go for that? Maybe losing a limb? How bout that?
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"So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school and no, I'm not making that up." ~ Kenny Powers
Angie's doing her best JLove desperado ho stroll, "LOOK AT MY RING!"