And So It Begins….
The virtual Tupac that knocked the high out of many hos at Coachella was such a success for Dr. Dre and and Snoop Dogg that they’re planning on taking it for a world tour. If this is Dr. Dre and Snoop’s way of trying to lure the real Tupac out of his hiding place to smack both of them in their thinking places, I hope it works!
The Wall Street Journal reports Snoop and Dr. Dre are working out the details with Digital Domain Media Group, the pack of evil black magic-making witches who created Zombie Tupac. One of their ideas is to do a stadium tour where a bunch of rappers including 50 Cent and Eminem will perform next to Digital Ghost Tupac. The other idea is for Dr. Dre and Snoop to perform at smaller venues with S1m0ne Tupac. The CEO of Digital Domain told the WSJ that this is only the beginning and Dr. Dre has huge plans. Dude also said that they didn’t use archival footage to create Tupac 2.0. They made him from scratch using a computer, a projector and a thin sheet of glass.
It is not okay that there’s going to be a Hologram Tupac tour and yet there’s never been a tour starring the only hologram we need: JEM! Can Digital Domain make me a giant hologram of a middle finger to throw at Dr. Dre for coming up with this dark-sidedness?
When I read that the CEO of Digital Domain promises that this is just the beginning, a virtual black cloud virtually covered me and I pictured a virtual Whitney Houston, a virtual Amy Winehouse, a virtual Michael Jackson and a virtual Tupac all performing a world tour together. They’ll all virtually go to the virtual backstage afterward where they’ll do virtual coke in between throwing virtual dollars at virtual strippers. I am virtually barfing. Why stop there, though? Why not make virtual people for everyone! Then us real-life people will never have to look at each other’s faces. I can even have a virtual Prince Hot Ginge that will feed me virtual Zingers (zero virtual calories) as a virtual Sheamus fucks me in between the toes with his virtual peen. Wait. Stop. Hold it. Put a strike over everything except the last part and then tell me how many of my own internal organs I need to sell to make this happen!