Introducing The Feeding Tube Diet

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These bitches are fucking stupid. My daughter has a feeding tube to stay ALIVE. What kind of ignorance does one have to have to do something as ridiculous as this.

"will lose 20 pounds - or 1% of their body weight." Is this guy for real? Basic math.

As a nurse who has to put these awful things in, I laughed my ass off when I read "ICU diet".

I read this Sunday and couldn't help thinking how one sleeps, exercises, sneezes...

The lady in the story was still fug after all this. Still had middle-age bloat. Not slim enough to pull off the wedding dress well.

Just exercise lazy people!

i had to have a feeding tube the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy. i vomited so much the whole time that by that time i was unable to eat anything. it sucks and i wouldn't wish it on anyone. why are people stupid enough to do this to themselves. how about controlling what shit you put into your mouth? id much rather eat my food, thank you.

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"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest

0 Carbs? yeah...it 's called the Atkins diet. Why not try that if you HAVE TO lose weight that fast, but it's not a lifestyle. Anyone who would have an NG tube inserted for such vapid reasons not medically necessary is an idiot. You're going to end up with esophageal or stomach problems, aspiration pneumonia, super-infections, or sepsis. SO...you'll be a skinnier cadavar....hooray for you.

And any so-called DR. who advocates this for weight loss shouldn't have a license to treat anything. What happened to "do no harm" ? I never saw the addendum that said "unless the patient is an idiot and willing to pay for it".
double meaning intentional.

no offense to MK(i'm sure the post is golden, as usual), but i read to "Florida's own", and stopped... i just can't with this state any more!

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

@Sans

We're gonna need a bigger kick board!!! :D

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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead

Having placed numerous NG tubes and having one placed in me, I can't imagine anyone intentionally wanting this done!!! When removing the tubes i have never had a patient tell me, "oh hey that was swell!! Listen, don't take it out, just leave it in. Would ya?".
Not only is this stupid, but I think this "Dr" needs to rethink the reason he went into medicine. Highly unethical, too invasive for such a vapid reason, and as others have mentioned too many chances for adverse side effects.
====================
Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.

*stands in front of fake plaques*

Side effects include constipation, dizziness, bad breath and of course slight irritability caused by having a fucking tube shoved down your froat for 10 days.

Another quack who needs to have his license revoked. Put him and Octomom's POS MD on a rocket and shoot it out straight over the ocean.
___________________________
If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK

Since I last posted, I poached an egg, steamed some ass-per-grass, threw a whiz and plated everything. And yes. I washed my claws. ;(
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead

<"Dr. Oliver tells The New York Times that most of his patients are brides hoping to lose some weight to fit into their wedding dresses.">

Why don't they just buy one that fits? LOL. Reminds me of Edina Monsoon ONCE AGAIN and Saffy getting mad at all the clothes mother Edina bought, never wore, and is in the process of throwing out of her closet: "Oh, I bought that when I thought I was going to be thinner."

JFC.

I haven't read all the comments or looked into the full story, but please allow my rant. Mind you, I could loose 20 due to a medical issue, so don't start.

TRY TO EAT HEALTHY! You don't have to become a vegetarian to do that.

My folks and grandparents always had huge gardens in their backyards. Nothing was more pleasurable than grabbing some peas off the vine, peeling them, and popping them into my mouth while sitting in the grass. Or husking some corn and eating it fresh from the cob. Again, don't start you crazy ass hookers.

You don't have to have a garden or become a gourmet cook overnight to enjoy great food. Go to a fucking farmers market. They are everywhere. Pick one thing. Explore it. You know your own tastes. Work with that and build on it. It's very satisfying.

Or walk around with a tube up your nose.

*shrugs*

"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 10:46pm.

I'm going on a fried chicken and beer diet before my wedding.

__

TEAM Fried Chicken and Beer Wedding Dinner (rehearsal, reception and honeymoon dinner).

ETA - and for all the defensive psycho feeding-tube bitches YES, TEAM FC&BEER&AU GRATIN&CAKE FROM A WOMAN WHO IS HOT AND NOT AFRAID OF NOMMING AND LIVING LIFE. Shove that up your nasal tube. Christ, this world is out of control.

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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse & Houston, 2011) *caprica six was/is here*

This is beyond sick. All of this to fit into a fucking wedding dress? are these people out of their minds?

I'm going on a fried chicken and beer diet before my wedding.

_______________________________________________

Winter is coming!

ern, I hear ya. Those tubes are nasty and feel horrible going in. Why anyone would do this and expose themselves to infections, I'll never know. There are healthier ways to do it.

Sorry to hear btw.

•-•-•-•-•-•
"Latin and Greek are not dead, they are immortal!"
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

One bride said that people just assumed she was dying of a terminal illness.

I don't know whether to LMAO or sigh in despair. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised that someone ignorant, delusional and stupid enough to go on this "diet" would make such an ignorant, delusional and stupid statement.

Why do we even live here anymore? Here being the planet.

I hear you, MK.

My dad died from MRSA and pneumonia he got in the hospital while getting his feeding tube adjusted... I say bad idea.



Submitted by C6 on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 7:48pm.

Read this dumb shit today; this and the chinplant phenomenon. Jesus fking christ, when is this shit going to end?? The other thing I read was how dumbass people are
self-inducing ketosis
----------------------
This is what the all protein diet craze wa
Was about years back. essentially if you
Followed the diet you would end up
in ketosis.
SFL can be hell. Most people in the states
don't realize that its essentially
a banana republic.
As for inserting an NG tube its
traumatizing for the patient and
not too pleasant for the nurse either.
The tube can become displaced and (heaven
forbid) end up in a lung.

THIS shit right there is why people don't exercise.
Shame on the New York Times for publishing this piece of trash, in the Style Section, on top of that.
Way to make women feel even crappier about their bodies.

Submitted by Datura on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 8:35pm.

It's a brilliant plan, isn't it? You may wish to subscribe now in the event--however unlikely--of a future remarriage.

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Please: It's "rahnday."

My handicapped son was on this and it ruins your liver. Also, muscles burn before fat or sugar. You have to be super dumb to trust anyone from Florida!

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 6:41pm.
I've come up with my own, equally expensive pre-wedding plan. I can't reveal the details here, but it involves buying a dress that fits.
---------------------------------------------

This is fantastic.

At the last wedding I attended, the bride's dress had to be safety-pinned closed because she bought too small and didn't starve down enough. It just doesn't seem worth the discomfort, but hell, what do I know? I got married in a Halloween costume.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat

the feeding tube has nothing to do with the desire for fast weight loss -- see all comments below re: other ways to accomplish the same stupid crash weight loss in same amount of time. but it has everything to do with the desire for extra goddam drama queen attention at a time when everyone close to them is already kissing their asses 24/7. lucky grooms.

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Gobbler on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 7:01pm.

*bowing* I am, huh? Can I count on you to subscribe?

* * * * * * * * * * *

Please: It's "rahnday."

Read this dumb shit today; this and the chinplant phenomenon. Jesus fking christ, when is this shit going to end?? The other thing I read was how dumbass people are self-inducing ketosis. Leave it up to 90% of the human race to value what really matters in life 12000 years since the moment of river-valley civilizations. *eyeroll/We're Fking doomed.
____
"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse & Houston, 2011) *caprica six was/is here*

Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 6:36pm.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 5:48pm.

Hatred is misplaced on these women; they are not weak or stupid for bowing to enormous cultural pressure. It only proves the strength of the pressure. The responsibility lies with those who perpetrate the idea that there is such a thing as an ideal female body and that women have to be as beautiful as possible at all times or they're worthless. So if you think this diet sucks, BUT you're one of those people who get off on policing womens' bodies, think about putting a sock in it.
______________________________

Nobody's policing anything, relax. Step away from the Sociology 101 textbook slowly. Have a glass of wine or shot of Jack. Rinse, repeat.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Many times, doing the latest diet thing is like an activity for these women. I know some people who would go on Atkins when it came out. And then it was South Beach and then it was I don't know, whatever was next. They also hop on the workout fad thing. So it was boot camp workout and then the Brazilian dance one (not Zumba) and then it was Yogalates, now it's SoulCycle.

It's like their *pastime* or something. It's to see who's still in the group, who's paying attention. Lemmings.

"Side effects include constipation, dizziness, bad breath..." -
And you look terminally ill? OK then. Enough with this crap, who's the stud in scrubs? ;P

•-•-•-•-•-•
"Latin and Greek are not dead, they are immortal!"
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

di Pietro, please. Until Gucci makes portable IV drips, Europeans will not mess with it.

I speak from experience. Experiencing meaning, I live in Europe. Apparently naming a content is enough of a qualifier so I won't specify. Until then, I shall be working in my makeshit (typo and it stays) lab trying to turn schnitzel into a suitable liquid form.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 6:41pm.

I've come up with my own, equally expensive pre-wedding plan. I can't reveal the details here, but it involves buying a dress that fits.
---------------------------------------

REVOLUTIONARY! You are a true visionary, my friend.
;)

I can't stand brides who do this shallow shit. People don't seem to realize that doing crash diets, even for your wedding day, are proven to backfire and alot of the time you gain the weight back, IF NOT more than you already weighted before. I saw this on yahoo and one of the commentors said, "the guy asked YOU to marry him just the way you are." Why can women not find a dress that fits them and that compliments how they are currently? It's never about looking good for your husband, but for being a vain whore and showing off for everyone. It's no wonder we have a huge fucking divorce rate. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-

This is just so bizzare. If you want to lose weight, then you really should not wait until you are engaged to do it. Tell your husband-to-be that you want to be in a healthy frame of mind beforehand. Give it like a year - get into good habits.

It's not easy to lose weight, we all know that. I have had trouble with it myself. However, this is just a low quality of life - a stupid example of the desperation that exists within people. Why conform to such a silly standard? As long as you have good muscle tone, and no fat hanging all over the place, then what's to bitch about? Love yourself, dammit!

This is as bad as the HCG diet. These quack "doctors" put on a lab coat and think of this crazy shit instead of telling people the truth. - EXERCISE AND EAT HEALTHY. Dropping below 1200 calories is dangerous anyway and this is just another quick rich scheme for some greedy asshole.

I've come up with my own, equally expensive pre-wedding plan. I can't reveal the details here, but it involves buying a dress that fits.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Please: It's "rahnday."

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 5:48pm.

I have news for you - eventually a lot of us will need feeding tubes and injections and laxatives for actual health reasons and it won't be optional. So until then, eat the God damn cheeseburger, own the wrinkles and wear the size 12.

_______________________________________

This.

800 calories isn't enough to keep a person alive, BTW. If prisoners were being fed a diet like this it would be considered a violation of their human rights. But since it's women we're talking about here, not actual humans, no need to worry.

/sarcasm

Hatred is misplaced on these women; they are not weak or stupid for bowing to enormous cultural pressure. It only proves the strength of the pressure. The responsibility lies with those who perpetrate the idea that there is such a thing as an ideal female body and that women have to be as beautiful as possible at all times or they're worthless. So if you think this diet sucks, BUT you're one of those people who get off on policing womens' bodies, think about putting a sock in it.

*______________________________________*

It's scary that there are two dorks in this world with artichoke choke fur on their heads. - Dog on the subject of Jedward, Tue, 03/20/2012 - 9:05pm.

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 5:20pm.

How fucking lazy are people getting? I swear to God all of these assholes getting surgery for temporary weight loss really annoy the shit out of me. I can see gastric bypass because people are seriously overweight. But people getting tummy tucks and shit like this who just need to lose 20 pounds? Bitch take your fat ass to the gym and try a salad or two. Damn idiots.
===================
People are fucking lazy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

"It's shit like this that has me asking: Why do we even live here anymore? Here being the planet."

I ask myself this every damn day.

*______________________________________*

It's scary that there are two dorks in this world with artichoke choke fur on their heads. - Dog on the subject of Jedward, Tue, 03/20/2012 - 9:05pm.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 5:48pm.

I have news for you - eventually a lot of us will need feeding tubes and injections and laxatives for actual health reasons and it won't be optional.

*********
What do you mean "eventually"? I need laxatives NOW.

Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 4:58pm.

So why not just eat 800 calories w/ no carbs, wouldn't that me similar to the Atkins Diet?
---------------------------------------------------------

Exactly...with the same essential fatty acids imbalances & insoluble fibre deficiency. Supplements cost far, far less.

people are just so fucking stupid, especially since you know those 'ho's will put it right back on the minute they're knocked up. no man, marriage or "yes to the fugly dress" would make me want to do this - I'm happy to stay a spinster...

Between this and the Caption This Contest, I'm going back to bed.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 04/16/2012 - 5:48pm.
==============

Amen. Actual, real life nutritionists are probably having a mass embolism right now. It's incredibly difficult to get the balance right in tube feeding, because everyone has different needs, and you can't just eat a wide variety of foods and trust that nutrients will be absorbed.

It has to be exact. 800 calories per day, no carbs, for EVERYONE, does not meet that criterion. Low carb can work for some people - in fact, I think it's one of the better ways of eating. But this is...beyond bad. Is he a real doctor?

ETA: If the guy wants to marry you as you are, then why the drive to lose weight? If you can get the man you want as a fatty, then he's not going to be all that bothered if you walk down the aisle the same size as when he proposed. Right? Any men want to chime in?

At work, the patients with feeding tubes always look so uncomfortable and miserable. I feel bad for them. WTF is wrong with people?

I have news for you - eventually a lot of us will need feeding tubes and injections and laxatives for actual health reasons and it won't be optional. So until then, eat the God damn cheeseburger, own the wrinkles and wear the size 12.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate