This Fug Ass Dress Will Haunt Us Forever

April 14, 2012 / Posted by:

Just like Fishsticks Paltrow, Nicole Kidman, Falcor Rimes and Brooklyn Decker before her, Rumer Willis covered her tater dimples and sprouts with the most overworn dress since the legendary Slut Dress. Now that this shelf paper-looking dress has gone from Nicole Kidman all the way down to never-was Rumer Willis, can we throw it back into the sea where it belongs? No, that would be too easy. It’s going to terrorize us for many years to come. It’ll go from Rumer’s body to the clearance rack at Barney’s to Off 5th and eventually it will find itself crumpled up at the bottom of a last call box at TJ Maxx. Then you’ll see your co-worker try to rock this shit with Chinese Laundry heels and a clutch from Claire’s at the office holiday party in about 4 years. The horror will never end.

Tater wore this mess to the premiere of Paul McCartney’s video for My Valentine at the Stella McCartney store in West Hollywood last night. Yes, we’re having premiere parties for music videos now. If you need help getting lulled into a mid-afternoon coma, watch Paul’s video which stars Natalie Portman and Lea DeLaria Johnny Depp. I’m guessing that watching Natalie Portman do sign language is only slightly less boring than watching paint dry on Natalie Portman.

And here’s a few of the tricks and tramps who came out for that shit last night. In order: Tater Head, Pamela Anderson, Zooey Deschanel (who is still wearing toddler dresses from the 60s), Ginnifer Goodwin, Joan Jett, Miranda Kerr, Paul McCartney with his Nancy Shevell, Stella McCartney, Fishsticks (I am setting my closet on fire and reconsidering my life choices, because I wore the gay ho version of that outfit last night), the always acid trippy Linda Ramone, Gwen Stefani, Kristen Stewart, Reese Witherspoon and Jane Fonda.

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