Angie Is Wearing An Engagement Ring Now, So Says Some Jewelry Designer (UPDATE: Yeah, They're Engaged)

It's been exactly six long minutes since the last "Brangie's getting hitched" rumor, so THANK MADDOX that The Hollywood Reporter ended that dry spell by giving us a new one. Robert Procop, who worked with Angie Jolie on her The Style of Jolie (barf) jewelry line, says that she's wearing an engagement ring designed by him and Brad Pitt. Angie wore a huge ass diamond on her left vein claw while walking through LACMA's Chinese Galleries collection with Pax and an unidentified freeway underpass hobo, and Robert says that is the ring every Brangeloonie is going to try to recreate using foil from the mental hospital's kitchen pantry. Robert confirmed that it is an engagement ring and explained it like this:

"Brad had a specific vision for this ring, which he realized over a yearlong collaboration. He wanted every aspect of it to be perfect, so I was able to locate a diamond of the finest quality and cut it to an exact custom size and shape to suit Angelina's hand. Brad was always heavily involved, overseeing every aspect of the creative design evolution. The side diamonds are specially cut to encircle her finger. Each diamond is of the highest gem quality."

Highest gem quality? That confirms Angie's ring is made from one of her own kidney stones.

If this is actually true, then say goodbye to your loved ones, because it's only a matter of time before we all combust from the high-pitched screams of the Brangeloonies after Brad and Angie quit each other. They've already jinxed their holy union by agreeing to do another movie together and now they're really jinxing their asses by getting engaged. Stick a fork (the one that Angie isn't using to eat) in Brangelina. Those bitches are done. I mean, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. I swear that sounded a lot smarter in my head.

UPDATE: Brad Pitt's rep just confirms to People that he was telling lies when he said the first time that they wouldn't get married until I can marry Anderson Cooper in every state. How can we ever trust Brad Pitt again?!

"Yes, it's confirmed. It is a promise for the future and their kids are very happy. There’s no date set at this time."

And Jennifer Aniston will drug Justin Theroux and drag him to the nearest 24-hour chapel in 3..2..

Posted by: Michael K

•

Brangelina • Yeah Okay

Submitted by Rocket on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:44pm.

I can see her wedding dress now - black with a big red spot on the back.

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:22pm.

OH PSL I LOVE THAT SONG!!!!

***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by YesterdaysTrashQueen on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:09pm.

"It picks the gem, they make the ring. It picks the gem, they make the ring."

Yeah Brad's a real wunderkind in the brain department.

What did he finally cave to her compromise of "If you marry me, I'll eat a sammich"?

Ugh, I can hear the smarmy drivel story of "how the kids" made us do it.
I'll believe them though as they are both about as sharp as a beach ball.

********************************************
"I love fast and I love hard."-MK

Submitted by Dallas on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:07pm.

Good gawd!! Even a gorgeous diamond doesn't do a thing for those manly, veiney, skeleton hands! And who gives a shit? Seriously!

I am certain the Loons over a JJ are losing their minds. In fact, I am positive that they have already bought their "Bridesmaid Dresses" online, in between posting on JJ and eating cheetos....And Passing Through is telling all her peeps exactly how all this will go down, because she knows! I mean, she knows them personally, and phone her before they make a move or a decision! *heavy sarcasm*

I predict a divorce withing the next 3 years!

Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:58pm.

This actually surprises me.

Submitted by Andrei on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:47pm.

The Style of Jolie? Are you kidding me?

Submitted by literarylioness on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:40pm.

When is their wedding date? Bet it's December 21, 2012.

When will these two fade into the dust? They are both pretentious and annoying.

Submitted by Neurotic on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:36pm.

Those hands, man!

Will E! televise their wedding like Kim's?

Will the other media outlets be as interested as they were as they were last year during that annoying royal wedding?

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:35pm.

Banilla Bagina -- Frank Lloyd Wright -- hah!!! Brad can barely form a sentence and we're supposed to think he's so deep when it comes to architecture. I know, hon. I imagine his IQ is barely that of a caveman and he tries to come off as an educated hipster. What a crock. Angelina is an idiot, too. I doubt between the two of them they even have one G.E.D.

Submitted by Banilla Bagina on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:31pm.

Lol @twat..it got to where i was screaming at the tv when b-rad! Was ambling around new orleans and acting like he was frank llyod wright. Shit. Rubbing that goatee and doing the thoughtful pause, stare into middle distance..answer, then cock his head. That level of hubris almost made me seize. I now avoid stumbling onto any clips of b-RAD! Talking about his 'special interest in architecture'. **pops neck veins back into place**

Submitted by Russler on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:28pm.

Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:48pm.
Oh and here comes all the Anniston "lonely with 18 cats" crap.

JA has the life many of us would love. Tons of money, tons of movies (ok, they are mostly crap but still she's had some good ones), great friends, a good relationship with her family, fabulous homes and any trip around the world she wants. She is also in great shape (aside from the smokes).

So if this is lonely and bitter, I'll take it anytime, before being in a chaotic relationship filled with body issues, eating disorders, possible drug use, saying the dumbest things in interviews, phony charity photo ops (Jolie looking like Mother Fucking Theresa with a veil over her head and holding starving kids before she leaves for her 5* hotel) overly exposed children who are so numerous they have to have multiple nannies and a clear addiction to fame.

Poor JA - what a "terrible" life indeed!
*****************************************

Word.

Wonder if St. A is wearing a blood diamond. Wouldn't surprise me at all.

Submitted by Anima on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:25pm.

The timing is quite strange, after so many years, why would they suddenly want to get married?
I'm wondering if they wanted to wait until Aniston seemed happy, so the media wouldn't create more drama over it.
If Jen has moved on, then I guess it won't be such a big deal.

Submitted by Paige123 on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:26pm.

All I notice are boney fingers!!!! How can her boney fingers even sustain the weight of ring. I guess this is their way to get back into the news

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:28pm.

Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:57pm.
Hahaha Whamo, your Tale Of The Ring was epic!
---------------------------------------
Why thank you SweetAss apparently you're the only one that recognizes Pulitzer worthy material:)

Submitted by bonghits4jesus on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:20pm.

i'd like to know the source of the diamonds and metal.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:16pm.

me too snowball.....attractive, and RICH? oh, poor, poor Jen. lol

**********************************************
Whatcha' thinking? Stop blaming me
He wasn't man enough for me
If you don't know now, here's your chance
I've already had your man

Submitted by Datura on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:15pm.

Remember a couple years back when Brange posts used to have 10 pages of comments? Bahaha. Now nobody can scrounge up a fuck to give.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:14pm.

Submitted by snowball on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:42pm.

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:09pm.
you lose, Aniston, you lose.

ahahahahahaha!!!!!
_____________________________

Congratulations, you may be too hardcore and obsessive for even Just Jared, Lainey and Celebitchy.

I'll take being Jennifer Aniston's sort of "loser" any day.
---------------------

^THIS.

How the FUCK does Jenny-baby "lose"??
_____________________________________________
"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:13pm.

Banilla Bagina -- Bravo! I love how you summed up perfectly all the shit I've read over the years about Brad and his architecture "expertise."

Submitted by snowball on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:12pm.

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:09pm.
you lose, Aniston, you lose.

ahahahahahaha!!!!!
_____________________________

Congratulations, you may be too hardcore and obsessive for even Just Jared, Lainey and Celebitchy.

I'll take being Jennifer Aniston's sort of "loser" any day.

Submitted by didimao on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:11pm.

parissucksliterally, great song isn't it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09

Submitted by KA on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:09pm.

i cant wait for the issue of people that says "the wedding no one gives a fuck about! pictures inside!" because really, who gives a fuck about these two anymore? wait.........do not answer that.

-----------------------------------------
"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest

Submitted by Banilla Bagina on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:07pm.

fucking GHEY. Obsequious little shit "brad was intensely involved over all aspects yadda yadda..." Yes brad is artistic, such a visonary! He also runs around posturing about his architectural 'expertise' (never went to school for it, but if you hover over/hound your builders enough i suppose that makes you feel a bit of an expert). What an absolute handjob he is.

Submitted by miz cynical on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:07pm.

Umm, yeah. So what did happen to that whole "we won't do it until everyone can" excuse? I'm kinda surprised that they broke the news so close to the wknd when neither of them have anything to promote. Oh, well. I'm sure the tabloids will be cranking along OT to get new issues on the stands. And yes, if Chestica could pop out her kid this wknd, that would be fucking precious!

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:06pm.

didimao, I had to change my siggie, because it is now in my head!

**********************************************
Whatcha' thinking? Stop blaming me
He wasn't man enough for me
If you don't know now, here's your chance
I've already had your man

Submitted by didimao on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:05pm.

Love that song ethang.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_hKXk2qSuw

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:04pm.

Bernard -- thanks for my first laugh of the day. I'm picturing Chiniston in her frilly pink bedroom, spraying J'Alone with her foul-smelling cats. I admire you for your consistency in your hatred of the Chin, LOL!!!

Submitted by coca on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:01pm.

Only first class attention whores accumulate children without a second thought but spend years dragging themselves down the aisle.

Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:56pm.

Submitted by ethang on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:13pm.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:09pm.
you lose, Aniston, you lose.

ahahahahahaha!!!!!
___________________________________

I think you should take a listen to Toni Braxton's -He Wasn't Man Enough
_______________________________________________

Pretty much. Plus, Aniston had Brad at the peak of his hotness. Now he's just as dried up as the crypt keeper he's about to marry.

Call me crazy, but Jen and Justin make a much sexier couple. Maybe because they don't try as hard as these two shitbags. Dunno, it seems like they have kinkier sex, where as Brangelina seem asexual.
-----------------------------------------------
"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:54pm.

Haven't these two been wearing rings on their right-hand ring fingers forever? zzzzz dgaf but congrats to them!

"I mean, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. " - Oh MK you're bad I still want to hear back from you after someone proposes to your cute ass! You'll be the first to do the whole shebang! ;p

•-•-•-•-•-•
"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

Submitted by Anti-Brandgelina on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:53pm.

3rd marriage for Angie Ho, right ? She must be a very likeable person to be living with....

Submitted by jelliebean on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:49pm.

This confirms Brad is cheating.
"I promise that when you finally snap from all the times I've cheated on you, you'll be happy to toss this ring into the nearest swamp."

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:46pm.

ethang, that is a great song. I still love it.

**********************************************
People say believe half of what you see
Son, and none of what you hear
But I can't help being confused
If it's true please tell me dear

Submitted by K2 on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:44pm.

by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:09pm.

you lose, Aniston, you lose.
^^^^^^^^^

and what exactly has she lost??????

you're losing your fuckin mind, that's about it!

Submitted by ethang on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:43pm.

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:09pm.
you lose, Aniston, you lose.

ahahahahahaha!!!!!
___________________________________

I think you should take a listen to Toni Braxton's -He Wasn't Man Enough.

Submitted by Anonymous101 on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:44pm.

I just can't with that hand; eat a sammich or 10, Skeletina!!!

------------------------------------------------------

Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:42pm.

In other news, something smells weird...and I hope it isn't coming from me.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:39pm.

you lose, Aniston, you lose.

ahahahahahaha!!!!!

-------------------------------------
Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.

Submitted by Anti-Brandgelina on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 2:37pm.

Let's hope with the upcoming People Wedding cover including Junkie's right leg, Pitt's stinky hair and their brats that this money-making BRAND has told their story and they finally go away !