Angie Is Wearing An Engagement Ring Now, So Says Some Jewelry Designer (UPDATE: Yeah, They’re Engaged)
It’s been exactly six long minutes since the last “Brangie’s getting hitched” rumor, so THANK MADDOX that The Hollywood Reporter ended that dry spell by giving us a new one. Robert Procop, who worked with Angie Jolie on her The Style of Jolie (barf) jewelry line, says that she’s wearing an engagement ring designed by him and Brad Pitt. Angie wore a huge ass diamond on her left vein claw while walking through LACMA’s Chinese Galleries collection with Pax and an unidentified freeway underpass hobo, and Robert says that is the ring every Brangeloonie is going to try to recreate using foil from the mental hospital’s kitchen pantry. Robert confirmed that it is an engagement ring and explained it like this:
“Brad had a specific vision for this ring, which he realized over a yearlong collaboration. He wanted every aspect of it to be perfect, so I was able to locate a diamond of the finest quality and cut it to an exact custom size and shape to suit Angelina’s hand. Brad was always heavily involved, overseeing every aspect of the creative design evolution. The side diamonds are specially cut to encircle her finger. Each diamond is of the highest gem quality.”
Highest gem quality? That confirms Angie’s ring is made from one of her own kidney stones.
If this is actually true, then say goodbye to your loved ones, because it’s only a matter of time before we all combust from the high-pitched screams of the Brangeloonies after Brad and Angie quit each other. They’ve already jinxed their holy union by agreeing to do another movie together and now they’re really jinxing their asses by getting engaged. Stick a fork (the one that Angie isn’t using to eat) in Brangelina. Those bitches are done. I mean, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. I swear that sounded a lot smarter in my head.
UPDATE: Brad Pitt’s rep just confirms to People that he was telling lies when he said the first time that they wouldn’t get married until I can marry Anderson Cooper in every state. How can we ever trust Brad Pitt again?!
“Yes, it’s confirmed. It is a promise for the future and their kids are very happy. There’s no date set at this time.”
And Jennifer Aniston will drug Justin Theroux and drag him to the nearest 24-hour chapel in 3..2..