Amanda Bynes Really Learned Her Lesson
To commemorate the one week anniversary of her DUI and the three week anniversary of getting pulled over for talking and driving, Amanda Bynes drove her own ass to Chateau Marmont and Greystone Manor to party with her friends. The paps caught Amanda texting behind the wheel before she ran up over the curb while trying to park. Who knows if Amanda's tongue even touched booze last night, but I find from personal experience when I'm standing in the middle of a club surrounded by sweaty hos thinking they're the shit, the only thing I want to do is eat an entire bottle of Jack. Instead of texting, Amanda needs to use her iPhone to look up the synopsis for Crack & Me: The Lindsay Lohan Story, because she's obviously involuntarily remaking that shit and doesn't know what happens next.
When are these bitches going to learn that driving Billy Joel-style is no way to drive through life? Isn't driving drunk really hard, anyway? Why would you want to ruin your buzz by trying to focus on not sending yourself or others to Jesus? That seems really stressful. Just do what all smart-thinking sluts do. Either find a sober trick to go home with or drag yourself to the nearest Denny's and face plant right into a stack of pancakes until you're good enough to drive. What L.A. really needs, besides a Piggly Wiggly (I will so move back if L.A. gets a Piggly Wiggly), is a Save a Ho car service complete with an open bar in the back. Oh, the Save a Ho car service should also have a foot surgeon in its backseat, because Amanda's hooves like they are one OW away from quitting her ankles.
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Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 1:19pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 1:04pm.
I couldn't imaging being intoxicated and trying to text while driving. I can't text while intoxicated sitting on the fucking couch.
Exactly! I think that's God's way of stopping us from doing stupid shit. Like instead of texting your shitty ex "Come over I'm horny" you text him "Copa Cabana homey" - crisis averted.
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BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH!!
More like
hEy i]m askgin fop woligha ldk,heo? Jakahnahah.
Can't these celebs afford to have a chauffeur of some kind?
And though I found her annoying on All That even when I was a kid, I think now that she was a pretty talented comic actress for someone so young. What was she, 12? When most child actors are put in comedies, they just stand there and try to look cute instead of actually performing.
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Silly rabbit.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 1:16pm.
I don't text and drive, it gets in the way of my masturbation.
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Bwahahahahahahah!
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 1:04pm.
I couldn't imaging being intoxicated and trying to text while driving. I can't text while intoxicated sitting on the fucking couch.
Exactly! I think that's God's way of stopping us from doing stupid shit. Like instead of texting your shitty ex "Come over I'm horny" you text him "Copa Cabana homey" - crisis averted.
I don't text and drive, it gets in the way of my masturbation.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Jack, text and drink can be dangerous too!!! ;)
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
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Unfortunately, everyone looks up to someone else, don't they? Bad luck for this dumb ho! I fear for other vehicles and the passengers in the car! smdh Too bad she doesn't text down a street and run into a bear! HA
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
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totally agree MK, what is the rush in driving drunk, you're going to collapse either way, collapse on the couch of the place you're getting shit-faced in, maybe the owner and you can make a deal
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 1:07pm.
I don't text and drive... gets in the way of my drinking :P
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Don't drink and drive. Stop. Drink. Then drive on.
Submitted by guest on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 1:01pm.
Is she wearing a top or just her bra?
It looks like a super loose halter top or something. Still fugly.
I don't text and drive... gets in the way of my drinking :P
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Texting & driving almost pisses me off more than drinking & driving.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by tasty dish on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 12:55pm.
I always laugh when you post because I read it in your avatars voice. LOL.
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
I don't even answer my iPhone when driving, and that is WITH my ear buds in (for hands free laws). I couldn't imaging being intoxicated and trying to text while driving. I can't text while intoxicated sitting on the fucking couch.
She's probably delighted with the attention.
You know your life is bad, when you're actively trying to emulate that of Lohan.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 12:42pm.
That skinny little body does not match that puffy face!
THIS right here! It's like someone stuck a cabbage patch head on a Barbie body. Another one who's long and lean body doesn't fit her puff face is Heather Tom on Bold and Beautiful.
Anywhores, this chick is def on the fast track to a mugshot portfolio.
@Lucifer_Sam:
I also, *sigh*, knew about her before this. Heaven help me, I'd occasionally watch "What I Like About You", when I couldn't sleep. (Insomnia's horrible, okay? Stop judging me.)
She and Jennie Garth were meant to be sisters, which was odd even at the time, not least because of the - *checks* - 14 year age gap.
Is she wearing a top or just her bra?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 12:55pm.
Oxy - damn girl!! yea, they say their service is "free" but they expect tips...
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Here it's "free" for the first $30, but you're right they expect tips in general which is wise to do so you won't end up on the OTHER street with the same name.
@Lucifer_Sam...unfortunately I knew of her before her DUI. I am tortured by having to watch Nickelodeon and she's on The Amanda Show.
*ponders Glaswegian - fun (because I'm alive to talk about it) times in Glasgow and Perth with crazy ex BF*
yes yes, driving drunk while texting IS hard but sommmeeebody's gotta do it
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
is she emulating Lohan's journey to stardom? the train wreck baton has been passed.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 12:48pm.
Unfortunately "celebrity culture" is such that it's better to be known for being a trainwreck than not to be known at all. Looks like that's what she's going for because, really, who remembered she existed before her DUI? Disgusting.
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Exactly.
Oxy - damn girl!! yea, they say their service is "free" but they expect tips... I tip em at least $20 when I get a ride and they know I will continue to tip... A cab ride from downtown to my apt is only $10... the main reason I tip them 20 is so when I call the next time, they bump me to the front of the line so I never have to wait... The last time a buddy and I used them we tipped em $50 because they stopped by a local diner to let us pick up breakfast.
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
Jesus Christ, chick, this is why Siri is a thing. Fucking use it.
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Devil's advocate.
A bra with shorts and hoof shoes?
May Darwin prevail.
@Jack...SoberRide is a free taxi ride program provided by the Washington Regional Alcohol Program (WRAP) to provide a safe way home for impaired drivers, during high risk times of the year. I used it almost 10 Halloweens ago and knew the guy on a first name basis as well..."You mother-effin dickhead" because he tried to take advantage of my drunk ass. Nothing happened cause I read him the drunk riot act...jumped out of the taxi, and raced after it as I realized I'd left my mask and high heels in the car. No he did NOT stop.
But the service is still around and I advise using it but only in groups.
those feet. ew
Unfortunately "celebrity culture" is such that it's better to be known for being a trainwreck than not to be known at all. Looks like that's what she's going for because, really, who remembered she existed before her DUI? Disgusting.
@ MJT - I rarely go out but I never drink when I do. You don't want to be drunk around Glaswegian males on a Saturday night.
Love the bandaids, totally adds to the class.
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Hopes can always go up, tears can only come down.
Needs a "This Dumb Bitch" tag. I see a funeral in the near future: either Amanda's or an innocent driver's.
....the bloody bandaid falling off her heel is eeeeeeeewwwwwwww. Put on some moccasins, bitch!
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Nice band-aids bitch.
Cut to Amanda's dad claiming that she doesn't text and drive cause she's a good girl and chooses not to work.
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
That skinny little body does not match that puffy face! I know people who go out and don't drink so I guess it's possible. But I doubt it...
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
End Well. This won't.
Dear Ms. Bynes,
Please use your iPhone to google Lindsey Lohan: legal troubles and then call me in the morning.
We have a service here called Boozer Cruiser... call them when you are drunk and they will pick you up (they only run on the weekend since they have normal jobs and volunteer their time picking up booze hounds). It's pretty cool. I know them on a first name basis.
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012