Afternoon Crumbs

Emma Watson’s in a ho stroll uniform for Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring and she’s completely nailed the look of vapid piece of trash turned thief turned E! reality star – The Superficial

I either need more sleep or more weed, because I’m staring at Amy Poehler’s dress and all I’m seeing is tiny blue satin sperm fishes wearing boas – Lainey Gossip

The all-peen remake of Showgirls is looking more and more promising with each nipple flash – Towleroad

Full disclosure: I couldn’t pick Brooklyn Decker out of a line-up of Sports Illustrated models, but I’m pretty sure that’s not Brooklyn Decker’s face on GQ – Hollywood Tuna

Um, waiter, there’s a Cuddy in my salad – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Translation: Will & Jada’s double bearding contract isn’t expiring anytime soon – Celebitchy

Baby Luca is either silently communicating with his home planet or he’s trying to look thrilled about Hilary Duff putting his face on Twitter again – The Berry

Wait, Nicole Scherzinger is still here? – Popoholic

B.I.C. must have broken the breath-holding record by now – ICYDK

Until now, I didn’t know I needed a video of a Corgi getting vacuumed in my life – Videogum

It’s not accidental that you can’t spell flower without Fowler – Moe Jackson

Every time Mindy McCready welcomes a new child, a Child Protective Services agent welcomes a new file to their desk – The Daily What Gossip

The hell did Jesse Eisenberg do to his hair? – I’m Not Obsessed

How are not all 16 of these tattoos on Jessica Simpson’s body? – Cityrag

Justin Theroux is Jennifer Aniston’s protector. Even her favorite Beanie Baby barfed at that one – Popsugar

Jessica Biel is looking more and more like the gay Cuban crackhead who always hit on my friend at the bar – Just Jared

Sarah Silverman abortioned her way back to skinny – SOW