Pass Me The Holy Water Eye Drops

April 12, 2012 / Posted by:

I haven’t stepped inside of a church for centuries, because they only have one kind of wine and all the magazines in the pew racks are boring. But lord, after seeing these pictures of Marilyn Manson and Taylor Momsen at the Revolver Golden God Awards, I just want to throw an abuelita-approved praying veil over my face and head to the nearest altar to pray to Guadalupe, Concepion, Mercedes, Charo, LaDonna, La Whisper, Ruby and all the other saints. This mess looks like a mock satanic ritual held in some goth teen girl’s garage. The only thing it’s missing is a father turning on all the lights and telling Taylor that it’s dinnertime and her bloated, grown lesbian friend needs to go home.

Who knew that the way to make Marilyn Manson’s crotch more terrifying is to put Taylor Momsen’s Top Ramen ass weave in front of it? Then, when things couldn’t get even worse, Johnny Depp (click here to see his ass perform) came out to play with MM. Once I finish barfing from all my holes over Marilyn slobbering on Taylor like she’s pie, I’m going to barf some more over the fact that for a quick second I mistook Johnny Depp for Adam Ant.

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