Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Latest Tip On How To Catch A Man

April 10, 2012 / Posted by:

File this under: Dear Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies, this bitch is stealing your beauty secrets!

There are at least half a dozen members of the Former Fiances of Jennifer Love Hewitt Support Group, so the real life Miss Prissy definitely knows how to catch a man (it’s the “not scaring him away by telling him she wants to surgically connect their fingers together so they can hold hands FOREVER” part that continues to elude her ass). JLove has caught a man by putting a plate of buffalo wings under a net and by whining him into a date, but she tells UsWeekly that the easiest way to attract peens is with vanilla!

“I carry McCormick’s Pure Vanilla [in my purse] — the baking kind — and dab it on my neck. Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put it on and four different guys were like, ‘You smell amazing!'”

This bitch is going around smelling like step 2 in a cake recipe or like a candle in your nana’s powder room. Sure, wearing Eau de McCormick’s could get you a KFed in heat, but you could also turn to the side to find Kristie Alley nom nom nom-ing on your neck like she’s trying to get to the creamy part. But you know, JLove wasn’t lying when she said that vanilla has a serious effect on men. I mean, just look at that picture of JLove with her Client List co-star. After sniffing on JLove’s cookie-smelling neck, you know he went home and fucked the crumbs out of a box of Nilla Wafers.

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