Shit stirrer Lana Del Rey left Chateau Marmont the other night with Axl Rose and some think that maybe she’s using her signature collagen noodle lips to blow raspberries on his pasty fupa. DJ Ashba of Guns ‘n Roses shook his head no to that possibility, but this makes sense since Lana Del Taco has a song called “Axl Rose Husband” and probably has a replica of Stephanie Seymour’s really hot November Rain wedding dress hanging in her altar devoted to all things AXL!
If Lana is humping on Axl, then she’s a hardcore groupie who is serious about her obsession with his ass. I mean, Axl of the 80s, we’d all hit it. Axl of the 90s, some of us would hit it. Axl of today, I’m the only one (besides Lana’s dedicated ass) who would hit it since I’d also hit a bloated middle-aged ticket taker at a third-tier motorcycle show who gets his plastic surgery at the same place he takes his Winnebago for an oil and filter change (which is kind of what Axl looks like).
Lana has gone from Marilyn Manson to Axl Rose, so I wonder who’s gonna get Lana Del Laid next? I’m going with the Baha Men or Gerardo.