If Anne Hathaway doesn’t hear her name after the words “…and the Oscar goes to” at the Academy Awards next year, she’s going to snatch away fellow nominee (for Nurse 3D, obviously) Spaz de la Huerta’s flask, soak the aisles with booze, pull a spark-inducing ginger hair out of seat filler Phoebe Price’s head, drop it to the ground and burn that bitch down! Because Anne Hathaway is working hard to get her hands around that gold-plated dildo man and hos better recognize.
Anne is already eating nothing but dry apple seeds and filtered wind to look like a frail, sick, pussy peddler and now she’s taken a pair of scissors to her luscious mane of brown locks. Looking about as embarrassed as me when I downloaded One Direction’s album on Sunday morning, Anne left The Box (too easy) in London on Sunday morning with her hands covering her new Winona haircut. Anne chopped her hair off, because the character she plays in the Les Miserables movie sells her hair to Mama Tina Knowles to buy medicine or some shit.
Anne did it for a role, so I can’t fault her ass for that mess of a haircut. There’s short haircuts and then there’s haircuts a mom frantically gives her 6-year-old son after he comes home from school with a new case of lice. (Seriously, my little cousin once showed up to a family party with a nearly bald head and was like, “My mom gave me an army cut!” No, bitch, your mom gave you a ‘this little brat got lice and I’m too cheap to buy RID’ cut.) Anne’s haircut falls into the latter category.
When Anne is done with Les Miz, she can easily star in Press Play on iTunes: The Samantha Ronson Story.