Amanda Bynes Doesn't Ever Drink The Sweet Nectar, So Says Her Dad
This mug shot of Amanda Bynes with her hair the color of first time butt sex discharge was taken after she was arrested for allegedly sideswiping a cop car while driving under the influence, but her daddy says this isn't so. Putting his certificate from White Oprah's Night School of Enabling to good use, Rick Bynes (let's call him, White Montel) tells People that Amanda couldn't have been drunk on the night she was arrested, because her tongue touching booze is as foreign to her as working is. Rick says that Amanda blew a zero on the Breathalyzer and claims that the cop brought her in because she was emotional. "Miss, your ass is under arrest for driving under the influence of your own emotions!" Rick explained it like this to People:
"She was not drunk. I was told that she blew a zero on the Breathalyzer. She didn't have a single drink that night. My daughter doesn't drink. She was arrested because she was upset and very emotional.She is a good girl. She just chooses not to work, and because of that, people go after her."
Rick Bynes is obviously standing by his daughter and I'm sure Amanda told him that reading an intense psalm at bible study class, where she was coming from that night, rocked her dizzy and caused her to clip a cop car. But I have a bag of exotic tanned coke (it's brown sugar) to sell him if he actually believes this shit. Ho was twisted up on something and she went back for more.
TMZ says that less than 12 hours after she was released from the clink, Amanda went back to the bar at The Standard, the same place she boozed up at the night before. The Standard knew about her DUI arrest and denied her ass. They told that bitch to pivot and go, because they didn't want to be "associated with her in case she pulled a repeat performance."
Why was Amanda trying to go to the same bar, anyway? Did she think she was going to waltz in and the bartenders would cheer for her triumphant return as the regulars toasted to her first DUI? That shit ain't Cheers, bitch! That right there is called hitting rock Lohan.
Speaking of, Lindsay Lohan wasn't at The Standard on Thursday night, but Amanda Bynes was.... The plot thickens!
• 
Submitted by gnarlyone on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 9:09pm.
it's all about who you know and what you Bl*w
or what you know and who you blow
It's good to know she was rational and didn't do anything stupid!
Clearly, he's been learning from the Lohan school of stage parenting.
it's all about who you know and what you Bl*w
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
how the hell would he know? did he make her take a piss test in front of him? actually never mind I don't want to know. O.o
she was great in that film where she played the boy!!!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
just because she doesn't drink with dad doesn't mean she doesn't drink
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
"with her hair the color of first time butt sex discharge"
That sentence conjured up a very nasty visual.
That jizz she swallowed was hella-laced with Bourbon, obviously!
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Oh please. i was a seat filler for the 2010 MTV Music Awards. Amanda Bynes sat behind me and almost fell over and on top of me, she was so wasted and annoying. Sorry Dad.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 8:46pm.
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 8:44pm.
Why can't you be more clever when it comes to your girl crushes? :)
**********
I can't help it! You know how stoopit one becomes around someone they like. Plus, Emma is a redhead! I don't like this ugly pink hair color.
**********
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
I wouldn't be surprised if there was some truth to what pops is saying about "they".
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 8:44pm.
Why can't you be more clever when it comes to your girl crushes? :)
********
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Nanners on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 8:37pm.
Nanners, have you heard anything more about the death of the guy who played Wheels? To me that was really one of the saddest "celeb" stories of the past year.
What does choosing not to work have to do wither not being drunk that night?
********
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
"Uhh, Your Honor, the defense would like to call as an eyewitness Ms. Lindsay Lohan."
Judge, Clerk, Bailiff: *uncontrollable snickering*
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
I'm fucked if the cops are going to start arresting emotional women!
White Montel = genius
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What kind of fuckery is this?
a) She's an adult. Why is one of her parents issuing a public statement?
b) The "not my kid" reaction makes you look like a fool more often than not.
I find this funny: "...she just chooses not to work." What a strange thing to say.
Whatchu mean squiggles?
P.s. Love ur avi
Oh, the daddy "was *told* she blew a zero on the breathalyzer"... well why dincha say so? Amanda, you're free to go, no charges.
Maybe she should have offered to blow the cop! (<--- hey look, I tried to make a funny!)
If she was not drunk, couldn't she still be arrested for reckless driving in this case? Of course, that Q is rhetorical, because we all know she was drunkety drunk.
But I WILL say that people driving under the influence of strong emotions are as dangerous as drunks.
My sister driving while on one of her emotional benders is scarier than Space Mountain. There have been times when I wanted to ask her to pull over for a breather but was afraid to make her angrier.
Daddy Bynes, please!
++++++++
Virtue and Talent are obviously overrated.
This is like the Lindsay Loban story. It should be pretty easy to discover the truth.
If you give a flying fart. Which I don't.