Some Hos Will Never Learn

April 6, 2012 / Posted by:

The long zoom to JLo’s bottle of scented culito water isn’t the only obvious product placement in her video for “Dance Again.” JLo is also whoring out her relationship with her bought bitch Casper Smart and is getting her money’s worth. This mess starts out with JLo squirming around with glitter all over her body (Twilight bukkake), then she rolls around in the most one-sided boring ass orgy ever (it’s like if JLo’s overinflated ego split into two dozen entities to solely worship her) and then she dance humps on her Dewey Duck looking boyfriend. I know, this not how you wanted to spend your Good Friday.

Any dude dry thrusting on JLo’s Goodyear doody bubble ass off camera should know that eventually he’s going to do it on camera too. They’ve all done it. Cris Judd? Did it. Diddy? Did it. Skeletor? Did it. Ben Affleck (apologies for bird feeding your brain with the chewed up painful memory of Bennifer)? Did it. We all know how those turned out. So it’s only a matter of time before we see Casper Smart with a sad on his face as he stares out of the play center window after JLo doesn’t pick him up. But in the meantime, JLo and Casper are still making beautiful and natural memories together by partaking in photo-op after photo-op.

Here’s JLo taking her daughter and two sons to see the Easter Bunny at The Grove in L.A. yesterday afternoon. I can’t wait to go on Awkward Family Photos and see the picture of Casper Smart crying out scared tears while sitting on the Easter Bunny’s lap.

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