Some Hos Will Never Learn

The long zoom to JLo's bottle of scented culito water isn't the only obvious product placement in her video for "Dance Again." JLo is also whoring out her relationship with her bought bitch Casper Smart and is getting her money's worth. This mess starts out with JLo squirming around with glitter all over her body (Twilight bukkake), then she rolls around in the most one-sided boring ass orgy ever (it's like if JLo's overinflated ego split into two dozen entities to solely worship her) and then she dance humps on her Dewey Duck looking boyfriend. I know, this not how you wanted to spend your Good Friday.

Any dude dry thrusting on JLo's Goodyear doody bubble ass off camera should know that eventually he's going to do it on camera too. They've all done it. Cris Judd? Did it. Diddy? Did it. Skeletor? Did it. Ben Affleck (apologies for bird feeding your brain with the chewed up painful memory of Bennifer)? Did it. We all know how those turned out. So it's only a matter of time before we see Casper Smart with a sad on his face as he stares out of the play center window after JLo doesn't pick him up. But in the meantime, JLo and Casper are still making beautiful and natural memories together by partaking in photo-op after photo-op.

Here's JLo taking her daughter and two sons to see the Easter Bunny at The Grove in L.A. yesterday afternoon. I can't wait to go on Awkward Family Photos and see the picture of Casper Smart crying out scared tears while sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Outta Nowhere on Wed, 04/11/2012 - 1:53pm.

I used to really like Jennifer Lopez. Now I see her and wonder "What universe is she in?"

I kept it on mute, but that video was terrible. I liked to watch Jennifer dance when she didn't look like she was assisting in a dirty dancing aerobics routine for the aged and infirm.

Boo, Jennifer. You can age gracelessly better than this.

Submitted by Sayonara on Sun, 04/08/2012 - 10:17am.

Submitted by literarylioness on Sun, 04/08/2012 - 12:04am.
JBlow's men are getting fuglier.
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I agree!

(973) Jersey Strong

Submitted by Harley Quinn on Sun, 04/08/2012 - 12:01am.

Oh. Honey. No. *I can't look* Wake me up when she does her talk show walk of shame to explain this hot mess. Oprah, Katie, Ellen, Wendy, Babs??

Submitted by literarylioness on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 10:34pm.

JBlow's men are getting fuglier. I thought Skeletor was bad, but this one is worse! Ben must be happy he married the other Jennifer.

Those poor children! Between all the stepfathers they will have and inheriting their father'r looks---they are doomed.

Submitted by literarylioness on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 10:24pm.

Submitted by Preferred Username on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 4:52pm.
I know why she is with him. Shorter dudes are hung better. Skinny short dudes even better.
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I concur! Short men can be hung like horses. I know. I have one, short man not horse.

Submitted by boston61 on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 11:10am.

Men should not spend that mush time on their clothing. Not hot.

Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 11:05am.

The song and lyrics are pretty bland, not that I expected anything better, but at least "On the Floor" was catchy (I hate to admit). She doesn't realize parading her men in music videos is just as bad as getting thier name tattooed, she constantly curses herself. I won't deny that she looks great for her age and for previously having twins (good doctors). Then again I knew this girl who had twins and is skinny again (but she was naturally stick thin to begin with, lots of stretchmarks though).

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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/

Submitted by Franniiv3 on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 10:39am.

If J-Lo ever tours, fans should totally request 'Dear Ben' during shout-outs! >.< I wanna see her face! haha p.s I kinda like the song!:s

Submitted by jelliebean on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 10:17am.

great comment pfk!
take that vapid JWhore
*wonders what pfk stands for, peefuck,popsforkangaroos,prettyfuckingkuny, pillsfromkarl, putforthkids?*

Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 9:23am.

"Dear Ben"

Ha, ha, that song so sucks, too. She should be under a rock with her fat ass, shaking with embarrassment.

But no, she's back, sharing her juvenile lyrics about love and strength.

Put on your Louis Vuittons or Laboutins or whatever you are shoving on your hooves, you vapid, materialistic moron, and toddle over to a library and read a goddamn book once in awhile, at least a thesaurus.

Submitted by Franniiv3 on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 9:12am.

Great Post (pfk)! I see what you're saying how she is the same vapid person she was during her 'J-Lo 2000-2003' days. I can see all the signs.

My thoughts are ok the bf in the video? Why bother it won't last forever, so she's just gonna look back in embarassment like tht 'Dear Ben' (Affleck)song on her 3rd album! 'So this is me... then'

Submitted by dementa on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 7:40am.

Submitted by babybunny on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 7:55pm.

Same here. I don't get why people think he's hot. If he weren't a rapper, nobody would give him the time of day. Face ain't too great, body is average, no hair, voice like a gravel pit, and he talks out of only one side of his mouth… which is cute on Saul Rubinek, but not on him.

Also, he seems to have nothing going on upstairs besides, "Party party party, have sex with me because I party."

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by pfk on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 10:00am.

Agree with WithinReason - this entire post is classic. I laughed at every word just like I did reading the post Michael wrote about the picture of Coco on all fours in the waves of the ocean.

I also agree with the poster here who said JLo seems greedy and grasping, and I DON'T agree with the poster who said she likes JLo because she doesn't give a fuck. When Lopez started on American Idol (which I don't watch), nymag (where a gifted reviewer wrote hilarious AI recaps) linked to an old interview of hers which was jaw-dropping in how it showcased her shallowness and narcissism. After years out of a spotlight I had thought she needed like oxygen, years she spent creating a family and a life away from fame, she then decided to try a come back (no harm in that), but the minute she saw her chance at reclaiming her previous fame she took it by dumping her husband and behaving like she had never been away. In other words, she hadn't grown up one smidgen after having 2 kids and a marriage that lasted longer than a month. There is nothing about that video that says to me she is being ironic or just having fun. She is maniacally thrusting into our faces how hot she is. Hilariously so.

And yes, she is very pretty, she's in great shape, and she is NOT creepy like Madonna (as a previous poster has already said), but she has a hard look to her face, a look that says "I know what I want and I'm going to get it", and you better believe that what she wants doesn't have anything to do with what anybody else wants (like her kids). Maybe it's all the Botox, I don't know. To tell the truth, I think it's the "ghetto" mentality of many pop culture fans that has allowed JLo to be brought back to all her former glory. The same value system that allows us all to appreciate Kim Kardashian.

Submitted by 9randnote on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 1:30am.

lol Who is the ad woman photo bombing Jlo in the last three shots?

Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 9:45pm.

thats a lovely gold watch jlo bought for casper.

i bet he ate it like a mean rosie o'donnell to get that watch.

and those jeans he is wearing, i bet he had to lick her toe jam for that.

and those expensive sunglasses, i bet he had to gnaw off her toe nails for that.

Submitted by cokeysniffy on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 7:25pm.

Something about that Casper dude's head is wrong. Like, looks kinda caveman or something. Also for a dancer he has NO stage presence or charisma.

Submitted by babybunny on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 6:25pm.

Shitbull does nothing for the team...no yeah in the vajay for him...he is yuck too...I swear I will watch all vids on mute, cause that is were you see the real asshole emerge.

Submitted by babybunny on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 6:22pm.

I watched it on mute and wanted to barf...that is a gross video.

Submitted by Stan Derp on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 8:06pm.

JLo is becoming almost as bad as the Kargashians.

Submitted by Saphris on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 5:46pm.

so she apparently can't make a hit without pitbull. ugh, this makes her j.lo. album stuff seem down right effortless.

Submitted by Nicholeoleoleo on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 5:40pm.

Stop me if I'm wrong, but it seems like when J.Ho and Mark Anthony were together no one knew what the Dragon Tale Twins looked like. Me thinks that Skeletor wants to keep his kids (all of them, not just the ones with J.Ho) out of the spotlight, and that's not working since this bitch can't keep out of the spotlight and wants to try to justify having Howard the Duck around the kids.

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"'Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' We hear the music and we still think you're insane, bitch. For the record." [Michael K on Megan Fox]

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 5:23pm.

Scott, speak for yourself. He has a fucking neck tattoo.

As for J Lo, I think she is gorgeous, but she can't be alone ever, and it just screams "pathetic" and "insecure" to me.

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you're not supposed to be here at all
it's all been a gorgeous mistake
sick one or clean one, the best one that God ever made

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 5:23pm.

Her shitty, boring music aside (hey, if you like that type of crap, good for you - there's LOTS of it out there, heh)I'll say: yeah, she's an attractive woman and she looks great at her age...but the difference between that and how WHITE-HOT she *thinks* she is is so vast it's laughable. Her constant sessy-facing has always made me uncomfortable, and now watching her awkwardly flaunt her young dick-piece just makes me squirm.

She's a mediocre (if that) talent whose music/videos are heavily propped up with guest artists, over-production, product-placement, tacky designer bling, her BUT (the real star) and the ever-present wind-machine.

Submitted by Scott in NYC on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 4:16pm.

I don't know why the hatred for JLo. She's still absolutely gorgeous and has incredible style. Her music isn't innovative but it's decent dance stuff that does what it sets out to do. I actually love her and, anyone who likes men would defffffinitely be tapping Casper Smart if they could because he is obviously hung like a dream.

Submitted by BitchHouse on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 3:56pm.

Her son (the youngest one) looks like a puertorican skeletorcito version of "Kingston" Rossdale.

edit: lmao @ JLo's clothes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 3:29pm.

With that video distraction done, love this entire post MK!

"I can't wait to go on Awkward Family Photos and see the picture of Casper Smart crying out scared tears while sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap." - smdh hehehe

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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

Submitted by Preferred Username on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 3:22pm.

I know why she is with him. Shorter dudes are hung better. Skinny short dudes even better. Mark Anthony would only have to sing I Need to Know and my legs would hit me in the shoulders for him. His weird face be damned. I bet he is hung too. He is a ho tho. But...so am I!

Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 3:20pm.

OK, I did not *hate* the song, but I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THE PARTS OF JLO & CASPER, ridiculous! EVERY ONE OF THEIR SCENES hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Trying SO hard to make him look like the hottest piece! And she's such an international woman of mystery LOLOLOL!

OMG when he slid to her on the wall, 0_+ lmfao - AWK! ;D

•-•-•-•-•-•
"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

Submitted by She Stinks on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 3:15pm.

Sweatpants? She looks like the ghetto Puerto Rican trash she is with her welfare credit card in the pocket. I just hate this low class no talent lying botoxed trash. Go back to HO stroll on Hunts Point, you bitch! I don't know why this cunt gets me so aggravated!!!!!!!

She Stinks!!!

Submitted by jim on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 3:05pm.

SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE THE OTHER HUNDRED SONGS THIS CUNT HAS PUT OUT....COMPLETE SHIT! AND THIS PITBULL DOUCH IS SUCH A FUCKING TOOL! BOTH SHOULD JUMP OFF THE HIGHEST BUILDING IN MIAMI..MIAMI..JUMPING OFF BUILDING IN MIAMI!

Submitted by Vern on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 3:03pm.

Did Ca Ca write this for Vadge and Jlo accidentily "stole" it?

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Submitted by miz cynical on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 2:44pm.

Ugh. That was just...awkward. I wonder if JLo's man is so damn unattractive because it's hard finding a straight back-up dancer? There might be a theme here..KFed, Casper, nah, Chris Judd kinda throws that theory off.

Also, when I went to LA a few weeks ago, I went to the Grove and saw that they had valet parking. I thought, who the fuck goes to the mall and needs valet parking? I could totally see JLo and her entourage arriving at the Grove requesting valet parking.

Submitted by CarmenElectrical on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 2:31pm.

Is it me or do these Hollywood kids carry blankets and stuffed animals with them, all the time? My kids never did that.

Jho's taste in men suck like Lindsay Lohan at a dick buffet.

Submitted by Orangina on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 2:28pm.

Why someone would dub themselves Casper is beyond me.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 2:05pm.

I hate orgy scenes in music videos. Does sex have to have like 20 people in it to be sexy? I'd give an arm for a night with just ONE hot ho, dammit.

And um, I don't think Casper's that freaking ugly. He actually looks like an ex-boyfriend of mine...quite a lot actually, from the body, skin tone and shaved head. My guy was hung like a frackin horse and a sex fiend to boot...not too talented in the brains department, but sometimes that's alright. So I can see why JLo likes her guy here. I don't think she's looked this crazy about a dude since Ben Affleck. You know she was just slumming with Skeletor for his dark powers and shit.

Submitted by VitaminF on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 2:05pm.

May be JLo is a mature lady of almost 43 now, but she is still immensely attractive.She can easily pass for a 33 years old. This duckface dude is lucky to be with her AND getting paid for it AND getting a music video out of this relationship. Somehow, when Madonna takes the babies to be her boyfriends, its very very creepy. may be because Madge herself is so freaking creepy.
You can all hate on JLo, but by God, I have to admit she looks fab.

Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 1:59pm.

It's hard to say which aspect of his look is most foolio: the ugly tattoos, the seriously wrong hair situation (including the chin-brow & soul patch) the Rolex, the sunglasses lifted from JLo's nightstand or the unlaced workboots from 1994.

JLo is a admittedly an attention whore - maybe she doesn't want anyone with the potential to outshine her? *shrug*
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"

Submitted by Puto on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 1:25pm.

Might I add... who still wears those boots and like that? Even J Lo ditched her Blahnik construction boots.

Submitted by Puto on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 1:23pm.

Most cities have parks. LA has a piece of grass at a mall. Los Angeles is so lame.

Submitted by Bigbendy on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 1:23pm.

Pitbull is the TITS. I so would.

Submitted by Albatross on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 1:22pm.

"...Casper Smart with a sad on his face as he stares out of the play center window after JLo doesn't pick him up" - HAW! I love you, MK.

**********
"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK

Submitted by DivasGone on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 1:13pm.

Don't ever imply that I'm a JLo fan, suckandfuck! I've killed for less. Maybe it's just because now that I'm in my 30's, 42 doesn't seem so bad. I hate when people make it seem like when you're 40, you have to just fill your closet with Mom Jeans and get a Dorothy Hamill haircut.

I just love her I Don't Give a Fuck attitude. She can't sing, she dances like a horse and she's got a fetish for ugly men. And she's not ashamed. God bless her...

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Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:38pm.
Submitted by DivasGone on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:02pm.

Where do you get the idea that she's uncomfortable getting older? I think she looks pretty damn comfy in her skin. She's 42... It's not like she's applying for the senior discount at Dennys quite yet. Women don't turn into crepe faced trolls on their 40th bday, ya know? Well, Latin women don't anyway. Don't even get me started on the black girls. But I digress.. I started out wanting to be irritated by this Love Vacuum. But I kinda adore the fact that she's like, "yeah, I'm a needy bitch who can't be alone! Let me dip my big ass in glitter and rub it on this 25 yr old guy before you kiss it!"
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ugh shut up J.Lo

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:59pm.

I'm so glad there's others out there who might do the nasty with Pitbull...good to know it's not just me ;)

That said, I'll shank you all coz I get dibs.

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Submitted by lalamaria on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:56pm.

Add me to the list who finds pitbull sexayyyyy........yum

Jlo looks hot. The boy toy meh

Submitted by Night Owl on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:34pm.

The boyfriend is straight up fug, and I still don't believe he isn't at least bi. Her children unfortunately favor their father in the looks department. I have never cared much for Jennifer, she seems so greedy and grasping.

Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:33pm.

My gawd, isn't it fucking hot in LA? She's wearing a sweatsuit? I would die in that here in Fl.

Her son sure needs a haircut or something, that's one awkward side part he's got going on...