Just Give “Pain And Gain” The Best Costume Oscar Already

April 5, 2012 / Posted by:

Up until now, I was ready to campaign for that Spring Breakers mess to collect the Best Costume Oscar for filling its wardrobe closet with sophisticated ensembles bought at a Panama Beach City bikini store that also sells Pall Malls and piña Colada mix. But EVERYTHING has changed with these pictures from the Miami set of Pain and Gain, a movie about two bodybuilders involved an extortion ring (think Hans and Franz but way gayer) starring Marky Mark, The Rock, Ed Harris and Anthony Mackie. The vision of 80s perfection above is Spanish-Dutch (Sputch) actress Yolanthe Sneijder-Cabau and her ensemble was sprayed out of a pink AquaNet bottle.

From the Camp Beverly Hills half shirt to the Freestyle Reeboks to the high-waisted surfer pants, this entire look is a snap bracelet away from being the official uniform of every girl in my second grade class. That whole picture smells like Love’s Baby Soft. If the entire movie was just Yolanthe busting moves to a Deniece Williams song blaring from a hot pink boom box, I’d copy it to VHS and watch it until the tape snapped.

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