Since Leonardo DiCatchAHo is busy trolling Victoria’s Secret casting calls for his next piece, Kate Winslet has to do promo stuff for Titanic 3D by herself and ho is on fire. Kate is that bitch (aka YOU) at her 15th high school reunion who has a glass of the sweet nectar permanently attached to her hand and farts at the mouth about how much she hated their class song and how everyone looks like shit with love handles. So when Kate brought her Don’t Give A Fuck tour to Daybreak (via Daily Mail), she didn’t hold back when joking about how much she and Leo have changed since she let go of his hand 15 years ago:
“We do look very different, we’re older. Leo’s 37, I’m 36 – we were 21 and 22 when we made that film. You know, he’s fatter now – I’m thinner. It’s true though!”
It’s true that 1997 Leo looked like the kind of beautifully androgynous twink that Hilary Swank might play in a biopic and 2012 Leo looks like his eyes shrunk while his face grew. But I don’t know what Kate is trying to say here. If Kate is trying to say she looks hotter now, then I need her to draw me wearing this and only this, because that is not true. 1997 Kate could totally beat 2012 Kate in a beauty pageant. But I’m only saying that because I’ve always had a thing for white cholas in chokers.