Another Daughter For Bruce Willis
Bruce Willis' girl wife Emma Heming birthed out his fifth child (if you including Ashton) yesterday and because he's destined to live a life where he's always walking into a bathroom in his house to find dirty period panties drying on the towel rack (I grew up in a house full of woman, so been there.), she had a girl! Bruce's spokeswhore released this statement to People about his fourth daughter:
The Die Hard actor and Heming, a designer-model, "are overjoyed about the newest member of their family. Both mother and baby are healthy and doing beautifully," says the rep.Weighing 9 lbs., 1 oz., Mabel Ray is the first child for the couple, who have been married for three years.
MABEL RAY WILLIS?!!! I love that Bruce and Emma named their kid after an 83-year-old memaw who works the cash register at a discount liquor store and became a local star when she pulled a rifle on a news reporter who wanted to talk to her about the jankem lab she runs in the bathroom of the abandoned gas station she squats in. Rumer, Scout, Tallulah and Mabel Ray sound like the members of a gang of bumbling girl outlaws in an old timey western movie. A Knott's Berry Farm mess.
And yes, I read the "9 lbs. 1 oz" part and wondered if half of that weight belongs to Mabel Ray's chin.
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Bruce had better hire extra security. Kevin Smith may just buy 5 plane seats for himself and exact some revenge by eating the baby.
skinny fat....lmao.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
well the name could've been worse like "Maple Syrup" or some shit
Coma Caca!
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by El Bastardo on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:57am.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:55am.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:53am.
.......Turdrocket
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Turdrocket..LMFAO
HEY! Stop LMFAOing at my future daughters name >:(
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I'm sorry EL we wouldn't want to upset the other two, Cocksock and Pissbonnet
I hope the kid doesn't get his genes.
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:55am.
I would hate to have a kid at his age... "Oh, what a cute grandbaby you have"... shit like that.
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Jacko, LMAO. It's true though. I know a guy that had a baby when he was sixty. Everyone thought he was the kids grandfather. The wife was no spring chicken at 46. Poor baby.
Karl J...the door is ovah there. Toodles. :)
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
so ah says to mabel, mabel ah says...
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:55am.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:53am.
.......Turdrocket
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Turdrocket..LMFAO
HEY! Stop LMFAOing at my future daughters name >:(
Hell no to having babies late in life. Idk if celebrities do that cause they don't actually take care of their kids 24/7, but I know at 36 I am too fucking tired for a newborn.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Maybell is a dumbass southern white cracker name. Or a cow.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:53am.
.......Turdrocket
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Turdrocket..LMFAO
I would hate to have a kid at his age... "Oh, what a cute grandbaby you have"... shit like that.
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"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012
WHY? Why take a chance? Is his ego so big that he can't see his daughter's chins? Why? Why? Why?
If I have a daughter it will have an original name like Turdrocket sausagelips or Snotgobbler Pigknuckle. Just to stand out in the crowd. Cos Imma Hipster Daddio!
Maybell is so different from Mable.
Why does Maybell sound so much cuter?
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's Maybell Peen.
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So, my advice is you can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Let her do what she born to do: ho. Yeah. HO. Punk bitch.
I hope this wife's genes can help the child. His first three daughters are fucking HEINOUS.
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When I say I love you, you say you better
(You better, you better, you bet)
When I say I need you, you scream you better
(You better, you better, you bet)
Mabel? Bad name. I wonder if Bruce realizes all his other daughters are fug?
At least it's not Marble or Mardi Gras or some stupid shit.
Ten minutes before Bruce and his childwife conceived:
http://youtu.be/qaJCnMJvV60
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So, my advice is you can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Let her do what she born to do: ho. Yeah. HO. Punk bitch.
I am surprised she agreed to reproduce with him...has she not met his daughters?
BUT! all ugliness (I made a pun)aside, I do love the babies, so congrats.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
I never understood guys getting kids at this age. Of course he can afford it but do you really want to be 73 when your kid graduates ( or as Rande says, drops out to take up acting. LOL!)
I would want to be young with my kids, be able to run around with them and try to understand where they're coming from, I can't imagine a 50 year difference helping that out. Having said that I'm sure there are many dlist bitches here that would tell me their 25 year difference might as well be 50 when it comes to trying to figure out where your kids are coming from. Anyway to me it seems you're cheating your kids somehow.
Submitted by Karl_J on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:44am.
I am sortof getting sick of Michael and his bullying ways. It is like every other story. I mean, now you are starting on the chin of a newborn. I mean, come on. Enough already.
Awwwww. You must have a big chin :( Are you fat as well?
Wow, All girls for Brucey! She could win the looks lottery and look like her mom, his sperm buddies are getting a little older... ;p
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"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
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I love old fashioned names but Maybel sounds fat!
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:35am.
Not another brick jawed yokel.
Very funny!!!! LMAO
We wonder if there are pictures of tinymeat Bruce presenting hole. If there are, keep 'em to yourself.
Never discuss this post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWJj51Tsfdo&feature=related
People rejoice: another ATM baby is being born!
I am sortof getting sick of Michael and his bullying ways. It is like every other story. I mean, now you are starting on the chin of a newborn. I mean, come on. Enough already.
If this babeh is a cutie...then the fugly tater head gene mystery will be solved. *points & whispers it's all Demi's fault.*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Well, mazel tov. :)
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Maybe this wife can pass on some better genes. Willis-Moore made a nasty genetic stew.
Fucking stupid name.
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Douchechill!
Another useless celeb child born into the world.
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Trailer Trash.
Hoping this one is a looker. Those three attempts to birth a beautiful woman coming out of Willis' nut sacks have been epic failures.
Sorry, but NONE of the Willis girls are pretty. Not a hater, just stating the obvious.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Mabel? I mean out of all the names they came up with Mabel? And the southern "Ray" only works with Billie, Bonnie and other ie names.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
We SAY it's from period leakage, but it's really frequent masturbation.
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So, my advice is you can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Let her do what she born to do: ho. Yeah. HO. Punk bitch.
Like I said earlier, next time Emma needs to slap a mustache on a Mr. Potato Head, cover it in industrial strength anal gel, shove it up her chocha, scream as loud as she can, and push it back out. Tears all around, light a couple of cigars, "Congratulations, Bruce, IT'S A BOY!".
Great. Bruce will be 73 when Mabel drops out of high school to pursue acting.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Not another brick jawed yokel.