Hot Slut Of The Day!

By popular demand and 4 days late, I bring you the new pride of Alberta (sorry, Nickelback, you had a good run) Robert Wilkinson who has been sweetly serenading the Internet and beyond ever since the video of him doing a spot-on Freddie Mercury impersonation in the back of a police car went viral. (Note: Dlisted does not condone driving drunk as shit, which is what this Canadian Idol was busted for. If you’re too drunk to drive, please use your iPhone or borrow someone else’s to find a sober designated driving trick on Craigslist who will gladly and safely drive you to your destination in exchange for some road head and a ball tickle. That’s how responsible drunk sluts do it.)

If you’re like me, then you’re probably a little sad that you didn’t win Mega Millions (Fuck you, Kansas! Fuck you, Illinois! Fuck you, Maryland!) and your dream of buying CNN to turn it into ACNN (The Anderson Cooper Nekkid Network) is dead. But look on the bright side, if you won that shit, you wouldn’t be in front of your computer right now watching this slow clap-worthy performance for the 500th time. You’d be at your office, writing your resignation letter on a roll of toilet paper with your dirty asshole. See, there’s a silver lining to being a broke and unlucky.

And when you’re outside today and a tear drop-shaped piece of silver glitter lands on your cheek, know that’s from Freddie Mercury crying tears of joys from heaven because his legacy is living on (and them some) in Alberta, Canada.

“Physical violence is the least of my priorities.” – the Pride of Alberta

via Everywhere (Thanks to everyone who sent this in)