Things That Will Exist: A Sequel To Twins

Ron Burgundy as Ron Burgundy announced on Conan a couple of nights ago that you will see more of Anchorman in the near future. This is a DO WANT sequel. Well, Hollywood always knows how to take the pucker out of your asshole, because now they’re giving us a DO NOT WANT sequel. The Hollywood Reporter says that Universal is working on a sequel to 1988’s Twins called Triplets (…ugh) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito and Eddie Murphy as their third brother. You can’t spell Arnold Schwarzenegger Danny DeVito Eddie Murphy without A-P-R-I-L-P-H-O-O-L-S (yes, you can but just go with it). Unfortunately, this isn’t a joke.

Ivan Rietman is the producer on Triplets and he’s currently looking for a writer and director to bring this cinematic nightmare to life. Arnold, Danny and Eddie have all agreed to do this.

Arnold, Danny and Eddie each have enough money to build themselves 30,000 square foot mansions out of $100 bills, so they can’t only be doing this for a check. Why are they doing this to us? Hollywood is splattering our eyes with this dirty diaper mess, but yet they haven’t given us a sequel to Big Business called Bigger Business (starring Bette, Lily and Mo’Nique.) Or a sequel to Outrageous Fortune called Outrageouser Fortune? Triplets it not what I ordered! Take it back. I’d rather Alicia Silverstone bird-feed me January Jones’ placenta than watch this mess.