OctoMom Talked To Her Child Army About Taking Her Top Off For A Check
On an episode of The Mah Boo Fun Time Hour of Giggles airing today, The Silver Fox puts his giggle on hold to talk to Michelle Duggar's partner in populating, OctoMom, about those awkward half-nekkid pictures of her pulled and pricked baby machine making body in Closer Magazine. TMZ said that Octo pulled her chichis out for ten thousand dollars, but she tells Anderson that she got $1,000 for each octuplet. For those of you who have the adding skills of a Simpson, that's $8,000! I couldn't even get an offer of 8 expired game tickets from Bullwinkle's to put my nipples on display, so good on you, Octo.
Octo also tells Anderson that she shit on most of the offers thrown at her (including a $1 million offer from Vivid to give birth to a peen, backwards), because they went against her morals. But when the eviction notices started piling up on her doorstep and she was a checking account withdrawal away from the homeless shelter, she loosened her morals and pulled her top off. But it was a hard decision for Octo. Octo spent more time thinking about taking her clothes off than she spent thinking about whether or not she should let a back alley certified doctor shove 8 fucking embryos up into her body. But before Octo said yes to undress, she gathered her 14 children around and talked it over with them. Octo's oldest kid is around 10 years old and her youngest are all 3 years old, so that conversation must have been fun for everyone around:
Octo: "Okay, kids, we're thisclose to selling mud pies on the freeway off ramp, so mama has to pull her feeding bags out for rent money. All in favor, raise your hands. Oh damn, I can't see anything. I don't know if it's because the lights are off in my head or if it's because ConEd turned the lights off in the house again."
Octo is doing what she has to do to put half of Food 4 Less on the dinner table each night, but how many more $8k offers is she going to get? Octo is going about it the wrong way. What she needs to do is put all of her 14 kids in brown curly wigs down to their ankles and find a way to get them to the Duggar compound. Michelle Duggar won't even notice, and if she does, put those 14 kids in flowers costumes. Because the three things Michelle Duggar can't say no to are: her own children, flowers and Jim Bob's sperm. (Plan C: Put those 14 kids in Jim Bob sperm fish costumes.)