Afternoon Crumbs

Johnny Depp knows he needs to get his shit together (see: bathe in Borax) when John Mayer is walking around looking like a clean Johnny Depp – Lainey Gossip

In a shocking turn of events, Adrianne Curry put her tits on Twitter again – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Please lie to me and tell me that next to reason for divorce it said: BOSSY BOTTOM TAYLOR LAUTNER – Celebitchy

“Preggo Bathing Suit Hose Down” sounds like an actual movie starring Uma Thuman and directed by Quentin Tarantino – Hollywood Tuna

Mark Bingham’s mom finds the most polite and eloquent way to say, “Fuck off, Carson Daly” – Towleroad

Fisting fun with John Travolta and Sylvester Stallone – The Berry

I’m a little disappointed that Baby Aleph Milliwhatever isn’t wearing a cap and gown after graduating from Harvard 21 years early – Popsugar

I hate Gwen Stefani for wearing those jeans and I hate the 90s circuit queen she stole them from – Popoholic

They’re not kissing, Kurt Russell is just feeding Goldie Hawn bird-style. See the power Cher Horowitz has?! – ICYDK

Gale almost killed Thor – The Superficial

Elle Fanning welcomes to the ginge to her hair – Just Jared

Boy toy’s boy toys – Cityrag

Isn’t that Minka Kelly trick always “single again”? – Celebslam

That’s not a coffin! That’s Jessica Simpson’s birthing pod! – The Daily What

Lily Allen sort of kind of just had a baby so I will give her a pass for those Minnie Mouse ass shoes – I’m Not Obsessed

Jerry Lee Lewis’ seventh bride proves that you’re never too old to get into the gold digging game – Hollywood Rag