Open Post: Hosted By A Tree Humper

March 28, 2012 / Posted by:

Don’t you hate it when you wake up the morning after and the only thing you have to remember about your fuck piece from the night before is a splinter in your ass, bark burns on your stomach, its sticky love syrup on your fingers and a bite from a palm weevil on your tongue? Don’t you wish you can relive all those beautiful, tree-fucking moments all over again? Well, now you can thanks to the dude who recorded you barking up the RIGHT tree while high on the wrong shit at the Ultra Music Festival. Girl, you better have rubbed your coochie in some Herbicide afterward, because the last thing you need is to pop out a sapling in nine months.

via Gawker

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