Michelle Williams And Jason Segel Are In Love, Or Something
UsWeekly has a picture of humanized Pixie stick Michelle Williams holding hands with Jason Segel in his coat pocket while strolling through Brooklyn four days ago. Either Michelle is super meta and is playing Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe as Lindsay Lohan and is pickpocketing Jason right under his eyes, or these two are in looooooove. UsWeekly says it's the latter and a source tells them that Jason has been spending time in Brooklyn with Michelle and her kid.
Michelle and Jason met through their friend Busy Phillips a long ass time ago, but they only recently started farting hearts out of their eyes for each other. One source says, "She hasn't been this happy in a long time." This is probably why Jason temporarily tore his heart off of his sleeve and placed it into the hands of his Twitter followers a few weeks ago (Jason has since deleted that shit):
Honestly a totally hypothetical question but I'm curious. If I fell in love would you guys be happy?We don't even know each other and you guys want me to be happy. I'm not being sarcastic at all when I say that actually means a lot.
It's come to this. This is why you should not operate Twitter while under the influence of the drug known as LOVE. Did Jason really get on one knee and ask his followers for permission to hump a piece full-time? I just...no. You might see this as cute, but I see this as some shit that is going to put me in a neck brace from shaking my head so much.
I've only seen one picture of Jason with Michelle and I can already tell that they're THAT couple. You know, that couple who is like kryptonite to us bitter old bitches. Like I was at some grocery store in California a couple of weeks ago, and a couple like THAT was in front of me in the checkout line. The girl kissed on her man's neck and said, "Tell me you love me." And he goes, "I love you, baby." And she goes, "Tell me again." And he goes, "I love love love you." And she goes, "One more time." And he goes, "I love you infinity." And I wanted to go, "Tell me to punch both of you gross bitches in the face, because I really want to," but I was too busy trying to stop the barf from splashing against my teeth.
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they don't bother me, good for them if that's the case
This is why you should not operate Twitter while under the influence of the drug known as LOVE.
correction: This is why you should not operate Twitter while under the influence of ANYTHING EVER PLEASE STOP
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
I've never been able to get into her. She may be a good actress. I honestly cannot say because I have barely seen her in anything. But she always strikes me upside the head with a heavy dose of the Meh-Blah-Whatevs. She always looks dowdy, dresses like some emotionally bankrupt baroness taking care of 5 entitled children she secretly hates, and what is she 30? Why the fuck is she always frowning?!
Meh.
Blah.
Whatever.
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My heart is broken cos I LOVE him to death.
He has a douchy nerdy way that gets to me!
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
She likes weird guys. Heath used to show up in the oddest clothes. Like he was trying to be a dirty rat face like Johnny Depp instead of the nice looking guy he was.
She's an OK actress (OK, I've only ever seen her in her 3 minutes in brokeback mt) and he's funny. But why do we have to see her not that special mug everywhere? Her impish 60's Mia Farrow hair and clothes seasoned with a soupcon of GOOPy smugness are really cloying.
I had to google this Busy Phillips chick. She's aite, above average. Kind of reminds me of Natalie Maines from the Dixie Chicks. What makes her so bad...is she really annoying or something?
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Submitted by Whatever on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:06pm.
I don't see the appeal of this guy but he does have a big shlong.
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This post confuses me.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 11:48am.
I hate bitches like that in the grocery store (or anywhere). Whenever I would go grocery shopping with whore #2 and we were on the aisle that had that summers eve shit she would yell out "HONEY, WHAT FLAVOR DO YOU WANT TONIGHT" lol
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LOL! That's klassy. Imma do that.
Does this mean Michelle's "REMEMBER, I WAS HEATH LEDGER'S GIRLFRIEND" Tour is over?
That makes me kinda sad. No wait, it doesn't make me sad 'cause I don't give a raggedy shit.
Michelle Williams was born under a lucky star. Not fair.
Michelle Williams was born under a lucky star. Not fair.
Good for them. Loved him in Knocked Up! I have a place for him.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by damianvargas on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:47pm.
I hadn't been in the comments section for awhile, glad to see things haven't changed. Doesn't it get tiring hating on everything? Or pretending you don't know what something or someone is because it's currently popular?
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mmm...nope!
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
It's good to see this delicate woman-child has managed to get over the heartbreaking tragedy of losing her soul-mate. Hope lives on.
Though I'm a bit confused at it happening so quickly because only a few months ago she was waxing poetically and, of course, woefully about her lost love. Guess the Oscars being over she doesn't need that shit brought up anymore. Hypocrite bitch.
Nice for them, neither particularly excites me but cool!
HAHAHAAH at your store grumbles MK. Did you make loud vom sounds too? ;D
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Aw, I'll always have a soft spot for Jason as I loved him in Freaks and Geeks (Nick Andopolis is totally my fantasy high school boyfriend.) Linda Cardellini broke his heart big-time, so I'm happy to see him with someone relatively normal and inoffensive.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 2:55pm.
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:53pm.
michelle williams annoy the snot out of me with her delicate fragile little flower dressing like a 5 year old self. now that she lost the oscar no need to keep talking about heath anymore, is there?
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Kinda taboo to say, right? But EXACTLY. Ho was trotting out the old Heath number in every fucking interview while she was in the Oscars race. Now she's like, fuck that, time to expose my fuck partner to the woooorrrrld!
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I came to this post to say exactly this!!!! Michelle Williams annoys the living fuck out of me with her cutesy, virginal act. She's had two/three boyfriends since Heath (they were not even together when he died) and still she acts as if she's recovering from some great tragedy. Like all fragile and shit. Stop dragging Heath's corpse every Oscar season, bitch!
As for this couple, I honestly do not give a shit. Jason Segal is annoying on his TV show.
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Trailer Trash.
Tell me to punch both of you gross bitches in the face, because I really want to.................
Indeed!
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Fuckery is what fuckery does.
This bitch seems like such a pretentious hipster. Her woe-is-me schtick has passed the line of annoying a long time ago.
Bitch, puh-leez. Everyone in Hollywood is gay. It's just the media trying to sell magazines by splashing beards and merkins all over their covers.
LOL beakers bitch, I couldn't help but think of Freaks and Geeks' Nick Andopolis too. Who knew there was so much Nick in Jason (or so much Jason in Nick).
You offered us the clip of "Lady L", I bring you: Lady
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzrMrglib6c
The epic serenade starts around 1:30
It's what celebrities are FOR, man. They are MADE for this shit, DUUUH. At least we don't hate on the people who are close to us in reality, LIKE YOU DO. sheesh. don't take hatin' on these rich (sometimes) beautiful motherfuckers to the heart darmian. Or are you related to everyone mentioned on this site???? In that case, my DEEEEPEST apologies.
Submitted by damianvargas on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:47pm.
I hadn't been in the comments section for awhile, glad to see things haven't changed. Doesn't it get tiring hating on everything? Or pretending you don't know what something or someone is because it's currently popular?
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No, it's not tiring at all. We live for this shit. It's called not having a life and being angry and bitter about everyone that's better/richer/slimmer/younger than us, ok?
Wow, stop hating on us for being us! UR JUST JELLIS.
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:53pm.
michelle williams annoy the snot out of me with her delicate fragile little flower dressing like a 5 year old self. now that she lost the oscar no need to keep talking about heath anymore, is there?
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Kinda taboo to say, right? But EXACTLY. Ho was trotting out the old Heath number in every fucking interview while she was in the Oscars race. Now she's like, fuck that, time to expose my fuck partner to the woooorrrrld!
Let me guess...that couple in Cali were Christian and Sibi? Because they ARE THAT couple.
You can't forget Jenny Lindley on Dawson's Creek! Loved her weird little ho character and all her jacked up outfits. LOVED it. Plus, I love her style lots. Never seen her in movies, but I'm sure I would be head over heels.
"Tell me to punch both of you gross bitches in the face, because I really want to," but I was too busy trying to stop the barf from splashing against my teeth."
!ahahaahahaaa!
I actually love these two together....she's way cute and he's fucking hilarious.
on another note, he was souuu good on SNL....you can totally gauge an actors real ability (comedic talent, etc.) when they kill it on SNL. HE was soo funny....as was Jonah Hill. Example of this was Katy Perry, Lindsey Fugface, and Channing Tatum. There were only crickets and yawns in the audience of those performances.
of course it'd be this bitch that'd take my man
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:47pm.
Never trust a romantic guy, because lets face it, chances are he's sleeping with a seduction manual underneath his pillow.
Wise words from Mickey, ladies.
Guess I'm the minority here, but I'm kinda happy for them, but I agree it's not an exciting hookup.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
Jason Segel is a no-talent shlub who is only in this business because he belongs to the J-club.
Please, dear God, tell me why anyone finds this guy interesting.
BTW...I love how this website has turned into the quad at the local jr. high school.
she is so blaaaaah.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
michelle williams annoy the snot out of me with her delicate fragile little flower dressing like a 5 year old self. now that she lost the oscar no need to keep talking about heath anymore, is there? i'll never see a movie with her in it again.
Submitted by damianvargas on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:47pm.
I hadn't been in the comments section for awhile, glad to see things haven't changed. Doesn't it get tiring hating on everything? Or pretending you don't know what something or someone is because it's currently popular?
Someone made a crack about Segal needing too much validation but I see that here in every post. 65 posts from people desperately trying to get MK's validation. Jumping over each other, emulating the way he writes in hopes he'll validate you.
I'll get hated on here because I'm not a regular but that's just what I see.
thanks. have a nice day! :D
Submitted by damianvargas on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:47pm.
I hadn't been in the comments section for awhile, glad to see things haven't changed. Doesn't it get tiring hating on everything? Or pretending you don't know what something or someone is because it's currently popular?
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No, it's not tiring at all. We live for this shit. It's called not having a life and being angry and bitter about everyone that's better/richer/slimmer/younger than us, ok?
Wow, stop hating on us for being us! UR JUST JELLIS.
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Dark-sided!
Fug, boring couple.
Never trust a romantic guy, because lets face it, chances are he's sleeping with a seduction manual underneath his pillow.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Submitted by mike on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 12:11pm.
Dude looks ROUGH for his age. He's in a neck-in-neck race with Seth Rogan in that race.
WORD. I nearly spit out my drink when I found out that Seth Rogan was only a year older than me. They both have middle-aged man body (and face).
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Douchechill!
ZZZZzzzz that's what this story does for me. Until I got to MKs grocery store part, then I LOLd!
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Brilliant post, MK.
Busy Phillips annoys the living FUCK out of me. I cannot stand her.
Not on Dawsons Creek and not on Cougar Town.
I LOATHE her.
Forget Ambien and Lunesta...Blandina over here is so boring she'll put you into coma-like slumber upon sight. Kind of like Medusa.
first my haircut, now my boyfriend. why can't she just go be a laundress already?
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watching hardcore ufos
Honestly a totally hypothetical question but I'm curious. If I fell in love would you guys be happy?
We don't even know each other and you guys want me to be happy. I'm not being sarcastic at all when I say that actually means a lot.
edit:
if an animal needs this much attention and validation from strangers, it'd better be a puppy.
also i have no idea how you didn't crack up laughing at that couple, michael k. well done!
Great post Michael K.
I think it's absolutely beautiful that these two could find each other. Seriously. Pretty magical.
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I have to laugh to keep from crying.
Aw Michael, it's post like these that make me love, love, love you baby.
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I don't see the appeal of this guy but he does have a big shlong.
Bigbendy EWWWWWWWWWW!!!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky