How Dare You Ask RiRi About Ashton Kutcher

March 28, 2012 / Posted by:

While promoting Battleshit with Taylor Kitsch and Brooklyn Decker at a press conference in London today, RiRi was asked about her maybe piece Ashton Kutcher by a reporter from ITN and the alien-headed one was not pleased at all. In case you don’t know the goings on of RiRi’s vagina, she was papped showing up to Ashton Kutcher’s house at midnight the other night and The Sun says she’s been popping her coochie on Kutchie for the past 8 weeks. Cut to this afternoon when Reporter Sarah dropped a sneak attack on RiRi. Sarah started her question one way and just when you thought it was about to go another, she pulled out the “So if I sniffed your mouth would I smell Ashton’s dick?” question on RiRi.

Sarah: Hi, Sarah from ITN. Rihanna, this is a question for you. I have no doubt that all of your fans are coming to see this film. You know, you have so many. And you’re so good with connection with people that I think that we actually feel we know you. Things are clearly going brilliantly in your career. I just wondered if you are as happy in your private life. Will we be seeing a certain Mr. Kutcher perhaps making a trip over here?

RiRi: Wow, how disappointing was that question.

Moderator: Should we move on to another one?

RiRi: Absolutely. I’m happy and I’m single, if that’s what you’re really asking.

It was a disappointing question, because RiRi was there as a serious actress and she should only be expected to answer questions about her tour de force, emotionally raw performance in the culturally important art house film Battleship. What was Sarah from ITN supposed to ask RiRi about? I wish Sarah would’ve asked RiRi why she’s wearing Lindsay Lohan’s old hair. I mean, wow, how disappointing is that wig. But really, what would be a better question? Did RiRi expect Sarah to ask about her creative process when getting into character? We all know the answer to that shit. RiRi gets into character by smoking a fat blunt in the bathroom. That’s also her process for getting ready to answer questions in a press conference, because ho looks as stoned as I wish I was right now.

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