Yes, Carson Daly somehow found a way to exist past 2002. Carson currently hosts The Voice (I know you thought that the wooden dummy from Magic hosted The Voice. I’m sorry to drop a sad on you like that.) and also has some kind of radio show. I don’t know what Carson talks about on his radio show, because I’d rather shove my ear in a cow’s ass than listen to his voice. But Carson said some shit this morning that got him onto TMZ. When talking about the JetBlue pilot whose mental state QUIT THIS BITCH during a flight a from NYC to Las Vegas, Carson Daly joked that if the flight was full of gay dudes headed for a floral convention (“Good one, Carson!” – Tommy Girl), they would’ve been too scared to break a nail to jump in.
“Most of the people were on their way to some sort of security conference in Las Vegas … it was like a bunch of dudes and well trained dudes … thank god.” He then went on, “With my luck, it would be like … ‘this is the flight going to [the gay pride parade] in San Francisco … I mean, that would be my colleagues.” He then did a lovely stereotypically “gay” voice and said, “Uh, we’re headed down to Vegas for the floral convention.”
Here’s the audio if your ears need that tonight:
Carson has since said he’s sowwy.
Carson Daly’s head is filled with nothing but saw dust and old Dick Clark farts, so I’m actually surprised he came up with that himself. You know, Carson’s joke is whatever to me, but I can’t say it’s true. First of all, I’d Vaseline up and pounce on a pilot for keeping me from the buffets and dime slots in Vegas. Second of all, Carson’s factory-defected frog puppet ass would be too busy Tweeting to do shit. Third of all, Carson obviously hasn’t seen a brawl outside of a gay club at 3am, because that shit is like no other.
The most offensive part of all of this is that I’m typing Carson Daly’s name and the year is 2012.