No, this is not a picture of James Franco in Socks with Sandals: The Kevin Federline Story. This is James Franco as a trashy Feder-wannabe drug dealer on the set of Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers with Justin Bieber’s diaper changer, an unidentified ginger, some girl from Pretty Little Liars, Vanessa Hudgens and Rachel Korine. When this mess eventually goes straight to motel pay-per-view, none of us need to see it since we’ve seen every inch of this movie thanks to the ten million paparazzi pictures from the set. If Instagram existed in 1989 and a 17-year-old party slut from Florida had one, this movie would be based on that Instagram.
And yes, it goes without typing, but I’d hit JFed until he poked out my PopoZao. (I don’t know what that means either.)