A Perfect Cotton Candy Angel Like This Could Never Commit An Illegal Act
Jan Crouch is the First Lady of the Trinity Broadcasting Network, a Dlisted icon and the only Princess Lolly-haired, tarantula-eyed angel I pray to whenever I need reassurance that there's no power like the power of Christian glamour. A stunning strawberry queef mess like Jan could never steal food out of a child's hand (yes, she could and has) let alone take millions of dollars out of her Christian network to pay for her lavish lifestyle. But that's exactly what Jan's granddaughter is accusing her and her husband Paul Crouch of doing. I know, can you believe it? A Christian televangelist accused of using donations from their followers to buy wigs made of crushed pink diamond dust and lashes made from rare spider pubes. This NEVER happens!
The Telegraph reports that Jan's 26-year-old granddaughter Brittany Koper is suing Trinity Broadcasting Network claiming that they wrongfully fired her as CFO after she discovered that her grandparents took out a "sham loan" to buy a $50 million jet, another $8 million jet for Jan's personal use, 13 homes across the US and a $100,000 RV for Jan's dogs. When Brittany told TBN that she knew about their financial schemes, they made her give an act of Christian contrition by turning over her house, life insurance policy and car to them. Brittany still went to the board with the shit she found out and a quick second after she did that, she was fired. Brittany claims that TBN also tried to take her husband down by accusing him of embezzling almost $1 million from the network. That accusation went nowhere.
A lawyer from TBN issued a statement saying that Brittany and her husband are causing a scandalous diversion to take away from the fact that they stole millions of dollars from the network:
"They're attempting to create a diversion and to create as much public spectacle as they can in the vain hope that this will all get resolved, and that's simply not going to happen."He said the Crouches travel by private jet because they have received "scores of death threats, more than the president of the United States."
Their ministry keeps large amounts of cash in reserve because incurring debt goes against the Biblical instruction to "owe no man any thing," he said.
He added: "The answer is, there is no fire there. They pay as they go and, every now and then, one of the things that they pay as they go on is the acquisition of a broadcast facility, and that's a multi-million dollar transaction."
TBN made over $92 million in donations alone in 2010.
Brittany Koper is not a CRIS-CHEN-UUUUUH!!!!! How dare that dark-sided, gargoyle heathen bitch accuse this pink tornado of spiritual exquisiteness of fraud! Yes, Jan Crouch swindled her followers out of their hard-earned cash by telling them she would use their money to feed the starving children of the world and instead used it to buy an $8 million private jet, but I'm sure they forgive her. They don't expect a bubble gum flower like her to fly commercial! God doesn't fly commercial, so neither should Jan Crouch!
Yes, most Christians believe that lying is a sin, but lying is not a sin when you're doing so in order to buy a cotton candy machine to whip yourself up a gorgeous head of hair every morning. It says so in the Bible:
"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor unless you're Jan Crouch and need to maintain your glamour.” Exodus 20:16
• 
Just look at her! Is that an Xtian wymon? NO. I love how the lawyer's defense is to call the daughter in law or whatever a thief. She probably is too, but she couldn't have got away with it if the organization had any accountability.
I think that all churches that become a business should be accountable. They should have to say how much money they brought in and what they did with it, and they pay taxes on personal income derived from it.
"I can't fly commercial! People want me dead!" Where is the faith in God? Jesus would fly commercial. Jesus would walk. Anyway, I wonder how much medication she's on for various pains and nervous afflictions because she is dressed like a 1970's superstar transvestite groupie. She actually looks pretty hip. But before you think what she does is funny, it's really not, because the people that send her the money often can't afford it. I guess part of me thinks that it's their fault for believing her, but playing on people's religious beliefs is low. That's often something they had drilled into them as children and now they are old and bored and she is bubbly and she's talking about Jesus so they write her a check. S/he needs to go door to door and earn that money.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
I would make her lipsych for her life. SHe hasn't fixed her wig in years.
...and (preaching not over lol) I may be mistaken but TBN network is the same one that broadcasts Pst T.D jakes, Joel Osteen and James Merritt and a couple of others whom I have learnt a lot from ... just to say God can't be fooled... He can use an ugly situation for good...
...there's a christian channel here that picks alot of shows from TBN and ever since I had my daughter I have it on always... I like finishing my chores or doing my chores and randomly listening to encouraging word after another from the tv while am at it... truly people...I am so saddened that the Christian is associated with scams and shams and thieves and my! :-(...because that is not who Christ stands for...
...and even Christians are cautioned to be weary... as someone quoted the bible below I have the confidence to do so as well :-D 'It is written' lol that in the end times there'll be many false prophets... and it is also written that not all who say 'lord lord' will enter the kingdom... what is happening is not a surprise to God... but it is hard for the remaining Christians to keep the faith & live without condemnation (which was foretold in the bible as well anyway) ...
(to humour you)... If you want weird Christian listen to Creflo Dollar *shudder*
Team Cameeeerrrrroooon!
I am an (unapologetic)Christian...
I like being a Christian... :-)
...trust me not out of ignorance, I was raised a christian then in my hay days I dabbled in quite a few religions in search of whatever it is we are all looking for... I feel 'at home' for lack of a better word being a christian, the teachings and values are to me unmatched... and to me it truly is the living truth... (sorry for the preachy tone)... It is VERY unfortunate about the things people in authority (christians) do... but I attest to all of you friends ...as Mahatma said he liked our Christ who was very unlike our christian-I agree. The Benny Hinns are to christianity what Osama is to Islam etc ....
There is nothing wrong with Christianity friends... and there are some pretty decent christians out there who know what being a christain is all about... so mine is to take one for the team on this matter... I truly feel bad that someone has lost a chance to find what i've found because of the fiends hidden within the church... :-(
if you have the stomach or tolearnce (i know in america that's a long shot) listen to this gentleman, he always articulates what being a christian is all about to me... if it helps someone good if it gives someone a glimmer of hope in the faith the better...
drats can't find the link I really wanted to share it... but here's an equally encouraging one...
http://www.winningwalk.org/ww/player/audio/audio.aspx?play=http://files....
Team Cameeeerrrrroooon!
Wow! I can't believe that Tammy Faye ripoff is still on TV! I remember thinking that she was old back in the 80s. She must have the hook up with a good plastic surgeon, but I am surprised she can still cry on cue after all that work.
--------------------------------
That's SWEET Cherry Peen to you!
My mom watched Paul and Jan's show on the TBN network the whole time I was growing up and I thought something was seriously off with these two even back then. Benny Hinn and Robert Tilton are absolutely fake, money grubbing scum, 20/20 has done specials investigating what phonies they are. And I'll never forget this minister from St. Louis named David Crank who used to open his show with him getting out of his bright red Corvette and then had the nerve to ask his viewers to send in money to him so he could maintain his "ministry". Mom actually sent him some cash too when we were barely getting by. Makes me fucking sick to see these people taking advantage of others like that and trying to pretend all the money they're collecting from them is all going to glorify God.
Complete bullshit.
Until I read the story, I thought that was a current day photo of Ann-Margret.
EricB
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 3:40pm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AEN5BzwJGI
We'll always have The Farting Preacher, though. Lord, how many YouTube hours of hilarity. I don't care if your dog left you and granny just died, tune to Pastor Gas for laughs.
---
Thank you for the reminder. Nothing as wonderful and genius as Pastor Gas - I laugh every single time.
I REALLY need to start the church of Mel-Tang. 92 million??!! Dayum!!!!
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
I recently watched a documentary on Netflix about Tammy Faye and she talked about these two scammers. Tammy Faye and Jim Baker actually lived with these two for a while after their local religious puppet show got popular. She said these two ripped them off and stabbed them in the back.
My husband and I used to watch a couple of minutes of TBN for a laugh.
I am not a religious person at all. Every religious person I knew in my life whether family or friend were the most hypocritical people.
Aren't they supposed to be doing the lord's work? Didn't Jesus say to cast away all your earthly things and follow me? I wonder how Jesus would feel about the money they spend??
People are so gullible. I can't believe people give to them.
I lived in Texas for a year and used to see her show on TV every so often....I think she had puppets sometimes.
I would catch this televangelist crazy bitch on television every once in a while and just gag over how phony she was. And WTF was with the Kool-Aid hair colors?
They must have missed the part where Christ said, "Freely you have received; freely give."
Anyone claiming to be your bridge to Christ Consciousness, or the "2012 Ascension", or selling blessings from Jesus or Krishna, or tickets to ride the Federation of Light Spaceship, or selling images of the Virgin Mary...etc etc, IS FULL OF SHIT. No one can tell you your path, because all paths are unique. Money and Spirit do not mix. This pisses me off. Now I need to go punch a pillow.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
.................................
Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.
Big surprise. Forget Christ on a bike - Christ rides a private jet via the vessel of pink hair named Jan Crouch and her creepy Vincent Price hair weave wearing husband.
These two are some scammity scam scammers. Oh yeah, she's a confirmed pill popper for Jesus, too.
If you don't have any better sense than that, you deserve to lose your money, idiots.
stealin ass stealer
|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|
"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Jack, LOL at the preachin'! You are a natural and could easily make a killing on the DL! hahaha ;D
♥---♥---♥
░░░░☺♪☼♫ ░░░░
BangoSkank, grrrr at that holyroller of yours! I can only imagine what else goes on at that place but I don't envy living next to that! "Fuchsia track suits and Cadillacs do make 'em easier to spot, though." - hahahahah! ;)
Can't believe people would part with their hard-earned cash and give it to these hustlers!! I'd say we'll deserved but I can't bring myself to do it because they're being royally scammed!
Must say, WHAT HEAVENLY WIGS!! lol
♥---♥---♥
░░░░☺♪☼♫ ░░░░
This kind of person makes my (culturally) Episcopalian ass literally shudder.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 3:00pm.
Who in their right mind would donate or lend money to someone who looks like a Texas whorehouse madam?
Ah-HA! There's my bastardized Broadway musical revival/cash cow/golden ticket: "Best Little Whorehouse in the Bible."
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 4:43pm.
Leave her alone! She's a Christian.
=============================================
I'm sure it's a "liberal" conspiracy EL
It's NEVER their fault you can be sure about that.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 3:05pm.
Please bow your head in prayer led by the Reverand Jack.
Doesn't the LAW-WUD deseRRRRRve-uh to have a big fancy hOUUUse-uh on the hill? YES, he does!
Doesn't the LAW-WUD deseRRRRRRRRRve-uh to have a BEE-DAY next to his TAWlet? YES, he does!!
And Doesn't the LAW-WUD deseRRRRRRRve-uh to drive a PORSH-UHHH???!!! YES, he does!!!! and he's asked me to drive it for him!
____________________
You have to say "lord" like Madea says it: LORT. LIVING FOR THE LORT. xD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljhuDeuebak
I would join the Church of Jack if you guys had sour gummy worms and diet coke.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 3:05pm.
Please bow your head in prayer led by the Reverand Jack.
Doesn't the LAW-WUD deseRRRRRve-uh to have a big fancy hOUUUse-uh on the hill? YES, he does!
Doesn't the LAW-WUD deseRRRRRRRRRve-uh to have a BEE-DAY next to his TAWlet? YES, he does!!
And Doesn't the LAW-WUD deseRRRRRRRve-uh to drive a PORSH-UHHH???!!! YES, he does!!!! and he's asked me to drive it for him!
***********************************
Lol.
*pulls sweaty $5 out of bra, drops it in Jack's bucket*
I'd rather go the hell than be saved by this pink-wigged, tarantula-lashed, Bible-thumper for Jaaayzuss! ________________________________________________
"I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?" - Patrick Bateman
I can't get over the hair that actually looks like it was taken off a thousand Barbies and woven together. Mind. Blown.
Leave her alone! She's a Christian.
and it's shit like this that keeps me from ever wanting to go to church ever again. ANY church. How can anyone believe in two people who sit in golden throne-like chairs crying about the starving children. When I happened to come across the channel that broadcasts their crap...they are always showing videos of Jan handing out dolls to needy kids. They are the cheapest, tiniest little nothing dolls I had ever seen...and she sits there CRYING big ol crocodile tears about the poor children. Yet she's taking out money for a JET???
I do agree though that any people willingly giving their hard earned money to these bozos probably deserves what they get.
<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
I ain't sayin' she's a Gold Diggah...but she ain't messin' with no broke broke
Submitted by buttercuppery on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 4:09pm.
Good point!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Leave her alone. If you are stupid enough to give money to a woman who wears two pink stacked wigs at once, then you deserve to lose your money.
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 3:46pm.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 2:57pm.
Rumor has it the Catholic church has more liquid wealth than all the Western nations combined.
------------------------------------------
And yet for Midnight Mass at the Vatican, Dec. 24, 1985, there was NO TP in the ladies' room!
_________
Have you examined the position of women in the Catholic church? It's amazing there are women's restrooms at all.
___________________________________________
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. ~ Emo Phillips
the minute I saw her vast array of pink wigs, I knew she was a crook, but a crook for Jesus, so I forgive her....but on the real, all pastors are pimps for the Lord, stealing in the name of the Lord, now stealing in your name is forgiveable, but blaming Cheezuz and God for stealing is a whole other kettle of fish. After all God has enough on his plate with the fuckery of the Whoretrashians, Hohan's and other sad offshoots of humanity, do you really think he has time to ponder the power of the pink wig in extracting dollar bills...it is the people stupid enough to actually think the money they donate is going to the needy...I gave up on all preachers long ago...I live my by own gospel...a mix of love of critters and love of parts of the Bible, and a love of all things kind of white trashy and of course all music...everything else can go fuck itself.Can I get an a-men???
The lord wanteth thou to gimmegimme your money because i am his righteous tool and you're stupid enough to buy into that religious funnytalk. Praise be whose mind is small and narrow and his purse is succulent.
--
You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
Dear Bango Skank,
"Actually, I take that back, I don't trust holy men in general. Fuchsia track suits and Cadillacs do make 'em easier to spot, though."
THIS. (might just be my new siggy, too. few can surmount the emo, but you just might...)
_______________________________________________
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. ~ Emo Phillips
"dark-sided, gargoyle heathen bitch"
i'm putting that down under "occupation" on my tax forms this year. thanks as always, MK!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 2:57pm.
Rumor has it the Catholic church has more liquid wealth than all the Western nations combined.
------------------------------------------
And yet for Midnight Mass at the Vatican, Dec. 24, 1985, there was NO TP in the ladies' room!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Jan Crouch and Tammy Faye of course are pikers compared to Robert Tilton who to this day I remember when 20-20 or something did their investigation and found bags and bags and bags of "prayer requests" in the dumpster after the cash has been removed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AEN5BzwJGI
We'll always have The Farting Preacher, though. Lord, how many YouTube hours of hilarity. I don't care if your dog left you and granny just died, tune to Pastor Gas for laughs.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 2:57pm.
"Rumor has it the Catholic church has more liquid wealth than all the Western nations combined."
i've walked through the Vatican museum, and almost vomited despite the beauty. imo, the smell of money -- and the blood covering it -- was overwhelming there and all over that property
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The fact that their granddaughter brought it to light and then they threw her under the bus makes me just shake my head. I really am trying not to be prejudice against Christians because I know not all people who declare themselves Christians are like the Crouchs however reading stories like this makes it harder.
Listen, I know people despite their belief system are never going to be perfect, they are going to make mistakes. Yet millions of dollars is not a mistake it is a crime - one that defrauds the U.S. with their tax free status. I hope the federal government starts to come down on operations such as this.
Getting off my soapbox now.
This kind of shit pisses me off to begin with, but even more so when it's so-called evangelists scamming their followers out of millions of dollars. They're the exact same as Jim and Tammy Faye and the assholes at Baptist Foundation of Arizona.
It reminds me of a story my dad told me about his aunt, who, no joke, was likely an undiagnosed schizophrenic and once in the middle of the night walked to her preacher's house, gave him the deed to HER house along with $10,000 and the asshole TOOK IT. This was a few decades ago, before my time, but that kind of behavior is really the lowest.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
This is the first time I've ever seen or heard of this creature. Hey any fool who gives their money to people like her and her husband, deserve what's coming to them.
That is one evil, freakish, ugly bitch right there.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I was switching channels the other week and was amazed to find Jimmy Swaggart still on tv doing sermons and he had a huge audience! Just shook my head and moved on.
Hekki: I know, IDK why I was shocked!
**************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Oxygen: "people want to believe in something other than their miserable existence"
So true, it's sad. That's basically the reason why every religion and cult has followers.
**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
*Joins the Church of Jack*
TEAM SINNERS!!
I don't watch reality TV, but I would watch The Real Housewives of JESUS because of hookahs like this.
"The Crouches travel by private jet because they have received "scores of death threats, more than the president of the United States."
This "CRIS-CHEN-UUUUUH" gets more death threats than Obama??!! - This is why I'll never set foot in a church again.
Rev. Jack lay your hands on me and heel me of my sinfulness!!!*shakes on the ground*
Snowy: holy shitballs. That makes total sense. There's not a scam that cunt doesn't have her finger in!
*hearts TBD*
and just wow. Words escape me.
*********************
I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
they are also swingers and big assed drunks.
a porn friend was hired to service one of their parties.