Searching “Kevin Smith and Bruce Willis” on YouTube will bring up a bunch of clips of Kevin Smith hammering hard into Bruce Willis the same way Tater Head’s chin hammers hard into a coke rock when her friends need a quick line to snort up. Kevin Smith has long said that he was excited about directing Bruce Willis in Cop Out, but his fan boy dreams died like the last follicle on Bruce’s head when he found out that one of his heroes is a total dick. Kevin Smith still isn’t over it and he brought it up on Twitter the other day. Kevin pushed out this Tweet (and later deleted it) to his followers:
“Who am I talking about when I write THIS. He turned out to be the unhappiest, most bitter and meanest emo-bitch I ever met at any job I’ve held. And mind you, I worked at Domino’s.”
After literally everybody shouted Bruce Willis’ name at once, Kevin Smith responded with: “Took you all of 31 secs! WINNER-WINNER!”
Bruce Willis looks like a dick. No, I mean he looks like an actual peen and if Parasite Hilton saw him at a party, she’d eat him with her pussy and that would be the last of him. But besides looking like a dick, Bruce Willis also seems like he’s a dick on the inside too, so I sort of believe Kevin Smith. I say “sort of” because it’s very hard for me to fully give my trust to a shit talker who is single-handedly keeping the jean culottes industry in business.