Paging Detective La Toya!

I’m not paging Detective La Toya to get to the bottom of EVERYTHING. I’m paging Detective La Toya so she can throw a net over Bobby Brown’s sister and drag that trick to the Ho Sit Down section of the auditorium. Please and gracias.

Two seconds after Whitney Houston died, Bobby Brown’s sister Leolah Brown started wrapping her mouth around every reporter’s mic. So of course, two seconds after the L.A. County Coroner’s office said that Whitney died of an accidental drowning possibly caused by heart failure and cocaine use, Leolah Brown wrapped her mouth around Dr. Drew’s mic last night to say she knew it all along. Leolah thinks Ray J gave Whitney a bag of the bad shit that was extra bad. Detective La Toya, this bitch ain’t:

“When I first seen this and saw the news, and I saw, I’m sorry, please excuse me, I just have to come out and say this. I saw Ray J coming out of the hotel, hiding his head, being pushed into the car… Why? I looked and I said, ‘Why is he hiding? Why is he hiding his face?’ He’s always trying to show his face when he’s around Whitney. Why now? Why are you trying to hide now, Ray J? And I put it altogether. When I first heard that she passed away I said, ‘My God, somebody gave her a bad bag.’ Yes, I promise you. That was the first thing that came out of my mouth.”

Correction, Leolah. The first thing that came out of your mouth was, “Hello, National Enquirer? Before we get started, let me give you the address of the Western Union closest to me…”

Ray J tells TMZ that the shit Leolah is claiming is impossible. Ray J didn’t even know Whitney was on the bad shit again and he says he was in San Diego the day she died.

This is like shades of Michael Jackson all over again. I can’t trust Ray J, because his dick can’t even look me in the eye. I can’t trust Leolah, because I’m pretty sure she stole that headband from my sister who bought it in 1991 at a Judy’s. The only thing I can trust is to never use Ray J as my runner boy, but I already knew that. And yes, when this bitch said “bad bag” I totally pictured THIS.