Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

March 23, 2012 / Posted by:

Which blonde female pop star, who’s busy planning her wedding, might just be planning a baby shower first? (Blind Gossip)

Our Lady of Cheetos! I really hope this is true and I really hope her possibly unborn Cheetoling is a girl, because somebody on this planet has to name their kid Chesterina Frapp and that somebody is Brit Brit.

When Backstabber came to Hollywood she thought she was hot and that she could make it on her looks. Back home she was always the prettiest and she figured she would be here too. Nope. Not even close. She was smart enough to figure that out and also learned about the casting couch really quickly. Her first roles were secured via the casting couch and also led her to do some things she has never done since on film. It is true that she has attempted to buy some of those earlier films and then make sure no new copies are ever released.

In one of her casting couch experiences she met a mentor who has guided her almost every step of the way. Although they stopped sleeping together after six months when Backstabber threatened to tell his wife, they have been good friends ever since and Backstabber makes sure to send over some young actresses she runs into looking for a break to his office to keep him happy.

It came to Backstabber’s attention that there was a role which would be perfect for her but the lead had been promised to someone else. Another actress who had very similar qualities and beat out Backstabber for a career defining role and made her white hot. Destined for A list (and still with great name recognition, but not Crash & Burn from yesterday), she made a few more movies and now has one bomb after another on television and in movies. Backstabber started whispering in ears that this actress had a drug problem and could not be relied on. She told everyone she could about the drugs and booze and erratic behavior. None of it was true, but what was a shoo in for the actress and her spot as the actress to watch disappeared in a flash and went to Backstabber.

This is where it gets interesting. On the set, Backstabber met her soon to be husband, but he was already having sex with two of the other still B list co-stars and would have laughed if you told him what Backstabber had in mind. Aside from the casting couch, Backstabber was not and is not a sexual person. She does it out of duty. For this guy though, she knew that would not work. She seduced and teased and the next thing you know, the guy had left the other two co-stars in the dust and was on his knee in a second trying to marry Backstabber. To be the world’s sweetheart you needed a husband. Mission accomplished. The only misfire Backstabber had was that her husband would chat in a second and with Backstabber only having sex with him once a month at the most, he would go wandering and straying. She did not mind when he was quiet about it, but after she paid for the third abortion for him, he was out the door.

While they were married, Backstabber continued to climb the Hollywood ladder. Drug accusations here, sending over some of her “friends” from back home to spend the night with a studio executive. To get the ultimate prize, she actually did have sex with a few people who could make or break things for her. She has no actress friends left in Hollywood because she has talked smack about everyone of them. She works for charities but only because it is expected. She has said privately that she keeps every penny she has ever made and that she is not going to give her money to a bunch of broke people or the N word on the street. Oh yeah, she is racist. Probably more so than anyone at a KKK rally. Movies with black people? Not if she can help it. Earlier in her career she could not control it. Now? Casting approval. No black people. Other minorities? No thank you. If she sees you drinking she will try and have you fired. Swearing? She better not hear you. Yeah, so it was a real treat when she had to work with a guy who dropped F bombs every five seconds and had a string of hookers and booze in his trailer the whole shoot. You can see her grimacing the entire movie. (CDAN)

Do you think that if I sent an e-mail to my 9th grade English teacher telling her that I read this entire blind item, she’ll change my old grade from a D+ to a C-, because that really is the longest thing I’ve ever read without sounding out the words. YAY for me.

Okay, I don’t think this is Julia Roberts since she loves to launch a high-powered fuck bomb out of her pie hole (exhibit: A). I’ll go with Reese Witherspoon, because she looks like the kind who will chin butt you in the mouth if you let out a dark-sided curse word in her pristine presence.

This C list director has forbidden his two main stars in his latest film from dating during the filming of this upcoming blockbuster. He says it’s a chemistry thing, but it’s really because he’s been secretly dating the actress. What he doesn’t know is that the actress is also sleeping with the B lister she is supposedly forbidden from having a relationship with. (BuzzFoto)

Rupert Sanders, Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth from Lip Biter White And The Huntsman?

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